Change is just around the corner.

There are so many things on my mind right now. In a few days, I will make new beginnings. I am forcing this change upon me, because I want to move beyond my comfort zone and do things that challenge me. Nope, it is no mid-life crisis.

But I guess turning 30+ has its own side-effects. There are so many things that did not make sense to me earlier and now when I think about them I see clarity. I still don't think that I am anywhere close to being a grown up though.

I just hope that whatever change is coming my way, makes me a better person :)

Meanwhile, I have decided to cut-off a bit from people I have given the capacity to hurt me. I think sometimes when you give too much, it loses its importance and people stop respecting limits.

This is time, I take a step back and spend some time turning inwards. Loving myself.

Need good wishes. Hope you guys are all doing awesome.

Mast raho, Dilchasp Raho!!

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Honesty is NOT the best policy...

You know, today I was just sitting and watching the kids play outside and I realized that the reason life is easier as a kid is coz you are born without any filters. You speak your mind and nobody really judges you. But then all these older people come in and they start teaching you --"Beta, don't say this...don't say that" I know! I know! all they want is for us to know is that sometimes we should not say a couple of things to avoid hurting other people, but then isn't that being dishonest.


I mean I myself walk on a very thin line when it comes to such stuff. I am a really sensitive person so I do understand that I have to think a 100 times to say something unpleasant to someone, so I would try to make it seem like a concern or a compliment or probably sugar-coat it a bit. But with people I really really care about, I just walk up to them and I am really blunt..It's like "Hello!! why are you wearing that brown lipstick,Ewwwwwww?" or "Hey! I think that guy is using you for money"..

Trust me, I never gained anything out of being honest and blunt & neither did I by being polite and sensitive. It's like people are stupid. They want you to be honest, but at their convenience. They want you to be sensitive but then they want you to speak the truth coz you know, "You are my friend" or "you are my family".

I am one of those stupid people myself. I just can't find a balance between honesty and being sensitive. And I know my husband is always at the receiving end coz of that. You can't choose one, it's a lot to do with timing I think.

All in all, in today's world, people do not appreciate honesty much. It's like "You know HKM, man!! she is crazy weird man!! she is just too honest man! not for this world..not for this world".. hahahahahaha..

But then, I like being weird..that's just me. I am this whole package and I am not for everyone. If you have me for a friend or for family, trust me to hold you back when I know you are jumping in a well or to slap you hard out of a stupid decision. Oops!! just metaphorically...

Like right now I wanna be really honest towards whoever is reading this. Guys!! you remember people who bullied you in school and college..or probably did not even know that you existed..?? Do you? and now how they want to be your bestest friends on every social media network. I am like what the hell, I know how evil you are..and have been and that's never gonna change... so why bother?

Also, people with no sense of humor, please steer clear of my blog..friends with me or not friends with me.

I am too old to bother with the justification shit..read it at your own risk...and if you get offended, please don't bother me with it...

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Kudi Punjaban in Amrika!!

It's been a long time. Almost a year, that I have shifted base to another country. There does not go a single day when I don't miss my home, my country. 

But then, sometimes there are certain decisions we HAVE to take. I have travelled across the world before too, but never made another country my home. This is new. It's more like I left a part of me back home in India.

All my friends, my family and my life is there. Everything is so real and personal in my hometown. The golgappe waale uncle still recognizes me, after all these years. I was 5 yrs old when I first tasted Golgappe ka khatta waala paani. He always addressed me as "Gudiya". The chemist, the grocery store guy, the temple priest, the chowkidaar, the kirayedaars...everyone seems important now.

I always was one of those people who wanted to get lost in a crowd, in a country where no one knows me...but this is real NOW. I miss home, I miss all these people and everything that irritated me about my house, my colony and my people.

At different junctures in life I have realized that I never am the person that I think I am. I mean I was supposed to be this loner, right?? But I guess I am not. I miss my dad's yelling, my mom's pestering to eat on time, my Chachu's constant taunts over my work-hours, the sachcha pyaar of my dogs - Happy & Rustam, the teasing and fights with my brothers, the gossip with my sis-in-laws.

Sigh!! Yep, Amrika is a good country and all that..but Amrika ne dil bech ke buildings kharid li hain...Mere desh mein ab bhi dil zindaa hain...buildings nahi ghar hain :)

I still remember almost a year back when I was leaving home, I secretly kissed the walls of my room and promised to come back some day, for real..for good.. 

The only thing I enjoy in Amrika is that I can walk from my house to the stores without worrying about some guy groping me, slapping me or molesting me. I know I will not be judged for I am a woman and I will not be type-casted the way I am back home. No country is foolproof, I know..but some are just better in some ways..

Anyways!! THIS we will talk about some other day.

Mast raho, Dilchasp raho...and please leave your blog links in comments, if you read this. My blogroll is really old and most of you have updated your blog links.

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