Honesty is NOT the best policy...

You know, today I was just sitting and watching the kids play outside and I realized that the reason life is easier as a kid is coz you are born without any filters. You speak your mind and nobody really judges you. But then all these older people come in and they start teaching you --"Beta, don't say this...don't say that" I know! I know! all they want is for us to know is that sometimes we should not say a couple of things to avoid hurting other people, but then isn't that being dishonest.


I mean I myself walk on a very thin line when it comes to such stuff. I am a really sensitive person so I do understand that I have to think a 100 times to say something unpleasant to someone, so I would try to make it seem like a concern or a compliment or probably sugar-coat it a bit. But with people I really really care about, I just walk up to them and I am really blunt..It's like "Hello!! why are you wearing that brown lipstick,Ewwwwwww?" or "Hey! I think that guy is using you for money"..

Trust me, I never gained anything out of being honest and blunt & neither did I by being polite and sensitive. It's like people are stupid. They want you to be honest, but at their convenience. They want you to be sensitive but then they want you to speak the truth coz you know, "You are my friend" or "you are my family".

I am one of those stupid people myself. I just can't find a balance between honesty and being sensitive. And I know my husband is always at the receiving end coz of that. You can't choose one, it's a lot to do with timing I think.

All in all, in today's world, people do not appreciate honesty much. It's like "You know HKM, man!! she is crazy weird man!! she is just too honest man! not for this world..not for this world".. hahahahahaha..

But then, I like being weird..that's just me. I am this whole package and I am not for everyone. If you have me for a friend or for family, trust me to hold you back when I know you are jumping in a well or to slap you hard out of a stupid decision. Oops!! just metaphorically...

Like right now I wanna be really honest towards whoever is reading this. Guys!! you remember people who bullied you in school and college..or probably did not even know that you existed..?? Do you? and now how they want to be your bestest friends on every social media network. I am like what the hell, I know how evil you are..and have been and that's never gonna change... so why bother?

Also, people with no sense of humor, please steer clear of my blog..friends with me or not friends with me.

I am too old to bother with the justification shit..read it at your own risk...and if you get offended, please don't bother me with it...

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I am going to cheat on you, darling.

It is about cheating, adultery or watever they call it, this time.

I wonder at times, why do people decide to marry someone out of their own will and then, boom! they cheat on the very same partners. What triggers it?

Frankly, I think every cheater has an excuse and here are some examples : (things I have heard from the horse's mouth)

- My husband/wife does not have time for me.

- There is no passion left.

- I think I never loved him/her in the first place.

- I deserve better.

- She/He does not understand me.

I have just one question - Why the F did you marry that person then? Anyways, this is pure bullshit. ;) We all know that.. Even the people throwing it at us... know it.

And then I would want to definitely go inside the woman's mind who is being cheated by husband/boyfriend and they still cling to the relationship and try to make things work or as they say, accept it as it is. *Sigh*

My point is - The very moment you realize you are not in love with your partner. Tell them. Tell them before you end up cheating on them with someone else coz that bloody hurts more... and it breaks a person completely emotionally.

The very first sign of detachment should be recognized and addressed. Why cheat?

I mean, you go and sleep around or get emotionally attached while someone is out there waiting for you, thinking that you are as much as in love with them as they are... Dah! isn't that sick? I mean, I donno... may be I am a different person...but doing something like that, is unacceptable.

Cheating is no more confined to sex only... there is emotional cheating too. You don't sleep with a certain person but you do share your life, whats up there in ur mind and heart with the other person...you form a bond ...that is meant to be formed with your spouse or partner or probably you fall in love with someone else.

Simple thing is : When you think you will cheat...or things are not going the way they should be. Talk it out. The other person has a right to their life too. If you don't love them, tell them. Let them decide for their own life.

Let me tell you one more thing, a person who cheats almost all the time blames the partner for their philandering ways, which is crap. Like they say, every wrong doing has some 'right' excuse to support it so one can escape the moral blame or guilt.

*shrugs* I have no respect for someone who cheats, no matter for watsoever reasons coz Cheating has no justification...Simple.

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You gotta problem with me?? haha

Life che! Infact, I must say, MERI life che.. toh masala toh hoga hi ;)

My close friend is leaving,to pursue his dreams and I know I will miss him loads but then, like all friends, we will also try to keep in touch. I have a message for him - "You know what?I am not good at saying what I want to say when I should say it...but I wish you luck and success in all that you do and remember that, I will miss you almost roz... :P but that DOES NOT make you my boyfriend" :D :D LOL!! So stop flattering yourself and get a hot gal for a gf as soon as you reach where your dreams and life is waiting for you. I really will miss you yaar" *sigh*

The project I am working on is going down the drain, in front of my eyes. I cannot do much about it. I work 18 hours everyday and everybody hates me at home, amongst friends and even Happy Singh dumped me last week. I am tired of juggling my relationships and work. Somebody needs me...n I am not there.. or if work needs me... I am not there.

Yeah! I need a break but I can't take one. I am the lonely warrior right now. Hate me or Love me... Wait for me or Let me go -- I leave it all to you... :) 

Like I said, I am hibernating now :D This is THAT time when I shut myself up to everyone. Since this is MY space and I can go on and on about how stupid, lame and weird I am... ;) I am doing that...LOL!!

Last week., there came a day when I decided I will marry.. yeah! right.. don't rub your eyes... :D I thought what it would be like -- to be a rich man's wife and file my nails whole day and run in n out of malls and say "Excuse Me, Trial room kahan hain?".. then come back home with shopping bags.. crib about life... gossip and go out again... *Sigh*

I almost committed this mistake of getting married to a man I have no clue about,this week...but I donno...one night I feel I am all finished and then I wake up in the morning and tell myself "Do Hell with it!! This is my life..Let's kick some ass and fix it" :P  Thank God, for I have THIS side to me... ;)

So what if I am weird... ;) There are many people who love me for my quirky and strange side...and I love them too... *winks* I donno what shock or surprise Monday will bring..but I have cut off from everyone for now... I just need some time with me... to fix this stuff up and then may be Monday will bring some good news.. Let's hope so ;)

BTW, I am also working over the weekend... Dah! but I still love my life... :) :) Atleast, I have a job... I am thankful to God today for everything...even if it is the pain.

This week, I also realised who the REAL people are and who all are FAKE. Meri thodi si problem hain..like Richa says "Tera mann jaldi pighal jaata hain"...LOL... *shrugs* I can't fix it. So if you need any help ever, I am there for you...but if you think you are smart... :P haha! You have mistaken me...I stopped trusting people long time back.So while you are busy thinking you are making a fool out of me...I am playing dumb coz I am expected to :D

Baat khatam!! You all have an awesome weekend...while I sulk.. :D :D 

Wish my friend loads of luck... :) Please. Love you all. BTW AD!! I almost am off twitter now, mera bhoot utar gaya hain :D :D

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UK Diaries 14 Nov : Playboy,Train,Stalker and Tree.

A man in the train almost shocked me when he opened the papers in the morning, he sat opposite me and we were sharing the same table. He kept staring at a stark-naked life-size playboy model for 20 mins by clock and I was so uncomfortable with the whole thing. He gave a nasty smile when our eyes crossed for a moment. I was like "Yeah! dude. You think you are smart". Saala! Pervert.

That is just one thing about last Monday, another is my train broke down on the first station and we had only 35 seconds to run and catch another one. I still dont remember how I managed it. Ek toh Monday upar se yeh!! For everyone who assumes, pardes mein trains kharaab nahi hoti... Wake up! Harshita Jahaan, Musibat Wahaan!! hehe..Jokes apart, I think apni India Rail Service iss maamley mein mast hain. My train broke down twice in a week, a disaster it is. :)

I have cancelled my London ka plan almost 3 times now and God knows, if I'll get to go there. Yahan, I thought will go out and see around. Par, every weekend it rains poora din almost and its so cold... Koi faayda nahi... :)

Office mein, theek hain sab... Usual stuff... I met a weird person a week back, he played very smart, flirted intelligently and complimented me so much that I got all hassled. Finally, I had to tell him, "See, you dont need to say all that to me, I am good with the truth but for god's sake stop acting smart. I have caught you in the act so, be genuine." He was astonished at it. :) Well, I had to tell him that I know these "you are different, never met someone like you, you will go places, you are smart, you talk well, you are so by the book...etc"... So told him, try something new ;)

Now, there have been times when he is walking next to me and I dont realise and it is so weird that I look to my right and he is walking with me. When I ask him with that What-are-you-upto, dude- look, he smiles and says, "I have been walking with you for past 5-10 mins and you were thinking abt something so I did not disturb". I dont talk to him when he walks with me, I am all engrossed in my book, ipod and this guy still talks to me and walks with me. Isn't he weird?? :P

I think he will get sense soon. We just chatted one day in the train on our way back and I talked abt India and he talked abt US. I am a desi and he is a Wallstreet guy :D I wonder why does he want to talk to me?? Let's see. I am sure he got the message. I like smart conversations but then, as he says, that he is not stalking me, atleast he is being weird. Isn't he?

I went out aaj shaam mein and there is a big christmas tree next to my apartment. It was dark n raining so the pics I clicked are not too gud... :) I love the christmas feel in the air. Although, being desi, I am more into Diwali, Holi, Lohri than Christmas...

I donno if it was interesting week or not. But next week is sure going to be boring. My very good friend will not be in touch for a month and she is a huge support here as she is almost 18 hrs online everyday to make me feel that I have someone around. :) Another friend has taken temporary sanyaas frm internet ki duniya...

Par, akeley hain toh kya gham hain... ;) Aur.. kaisi kat rahi hain life?? I am replying to the comments of last post...ab...

arey haan! happy bachcha logon ka din.. ;)

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Travel, Work,Racism and ofcourse THE ME!! ;)

I open my Astro just like that on TOI side window and it says- You will feel a little depressed today and I am like "tell me about it".I am not well today and I was all ready for office when I realised am not well enuff to catch that train, walk those miles, so I stayed back and I donno if I did the right thing. I have one business meeting, one lunch meeting and a team dinner tonite and not going to office means skipping on all the interaction but then I am not interested in making friendships here. I just wanna do my stuff here and go back home to my ever-so wonderful family and my dogs. :) Okay! so about travel, here is a quick summary : As I always say, the worst part of a journey away from home is not the journey frm the home airport to another airport,It is the trip that you make from your home(with your family) to the home airport to catch you flight. It makes me feel sick. I travel a lot for the women of my age (that's Bridget Jones effect, Okay!) but everytime I go away frm home, its a tuff thing. I always insist that I take a cab frm my place to the airport which is 2hrs away but Dad believes in the family ritual of dropping us at the airport.I LOVE HIM for that n for a couple of other things too. *giggles* But, the time spent in the car till you reach the airport is dreadful. I kept imagining how I will get down and look back and wave to mom. I felt sick, nervous and everything but more than that I had an urge to pee. Shit!! The pee-rablem comes again so we stopped at some random hotel on the way to gurgaon...hehe... I ran inside,smling at the reception, used the loo, thanked and ran back. By now, I have mastered the art. Can't help till Indian govt comes up with good public toilets for women. Anyways, I was doing everything mechanically till I boarded my plane as if I was programmed. I did not look back once I stood in the departure queue coz I did not want to say bye to mom. So I really don't remember how and when I boarded my plane, whom I called, what I said. I did everything in daze may be. So, I slept with my mouth wide open in the plane till we reached Amsterdam, and its a beautiful place, it was soooo cold and I was wearing a tshirt,capri and chappals(most comfy for long travel). I shrieked wen we got off the plane, it was so cold. Anyways, next thing I know, I dropped my handbag first on a co-pasenger's foot and later while boarding the other flight on the ground-staff's foot. hahaha... I cant help but fumble up stuff... :D that's me. Reached Leeds Airport and found that my cabbie lost me and I lost him. Waited for him in the parking (which btw means that I had to carry 33Kgs of luggage downslope and upwards again). It was sick, my back hurts even now. Finally he called me and he was a GORA, kinda relief. I did not want any Pakistani or Indian cabbie for the reason that I did not want to strike a conversation, I was too tired. But the GORA, did talk a lot. I faked sleep. :) I could see everyone at the airport, in the plane and the lounge staring at my novel which was Bridget Jones' Diary. They might be secretly feeling sorry for me. :D :D Anyways, it was so cold, my nose started bleeding inside...damn! all the woollens are worth trash so shopped hard for some gud stuff here... still shopping... The place is good except that it is freakingly cold and it rains whenever rain gods plan a manicure. ;) Donno!! Got drenched yesterday so paying the price by staying home today. Workplace sucks like everyone's work place. Some gross people playing politics so me minding my own business and doing what I want to...Not interested in coming back here again , atleast not for work. BTW, the place is good for shopping... retail therapy is the mantra for a depressing day. Aur kya? haan... I faced racism too... A drug-addict sorta, chin,ear,eyebrow pierced woman and me were abt to take opposiute tray table seats in the train, when she made a sick face and looked at me... like Huh! Bitch how can u sit here? but I smiled back and kept my stuff there. She picked all her stuff and looked back at me, made a bad face again and sat in another row. I was like "Cool, Bitch I have the full seat to me, you go suck up the back row". :D :D I felt very very humiliated actually. I was dressed completely Indian, head-covered and all and why am stressing on that... well the day I changed my wardrobe to western, I see people passing me off as Brazilian, Filipino, Italian (can u beat that?)... hehe... but no one has looked the same way at me as yet. I dont care anyways... I am off to my churidaars again... :) Okay! that's quiet a long story.. and I managed it coz am grounded... cant check blogs frm office.. so am visiting them all today... Aur yaar.. meri diwali lonely aur boring this.. i cooked maggi and sulked.. .wat did u do?? Arey haan, mainey shopping ki naa diwali pe :D :D Ek warm si jhappi... UK ki bheed mein khud ko dhoondti huyee... Aapki Harshita *wah wah*

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Things are not always what they seem to be...

Bahut zor shor ke saath I promised a post on HOW TO SHOO A POTENTIAL GROOM away, sadly it will have to wait till next time... Hmm... wondering why?? Well, there are more bizarre things as compared to THIS. Newspaper is my favorite breakfast...now don't imagine me, eating up all the papers... I mean, I love reading newspapers like 85% of hindustani population and the news items fascinate me, shock me and at times trouble me. Like today's headline did. It talked about HC panel's findings that 19 yr old Ishrat (in picture) was killed as a part of the fake encounter... You know what I felt the very moment I read it... I wanted to catch hold of all the officers who were involved in it and burn them alive... (Okay! I know I get hyper... par it is justified). Just for the sake of promotions and some medals they killed 4 innocent people... By gawd! mere dimaag mein bas ek hi baat aati hain... yeh log kahaan jaakey bharengey yeh saarey paap... I sometimes feel scared that who knows someday it can happen to someone I know... what will I do then?? Will I just sit-up and watch all the shit happening quietly or will I do something to change it all?? I think I would choose the latter... better to die fighting for justice than witnessing this crap... I am pretty agitated... how about abducting the officer's kids and killing them?? haan... huh! But then, we are not that big the devils... I truly wish that everyone who kills innocent people like this, burns in hell and gets rotten till they are alive... I feel disgusted right now... seriously... Rabba!! hum sabki band bajaaney ke liye agar aapkey paas time hain toh aisey bandon ka kuch kyun nahi kartey... Next in the line of troublesome stuff was this one liner - 'Only whores choose partners'. I was busy guessing who cud have said that, when I saw an old man's pic next to the news-piece.He is some moral police for a village and community called 'KHAP'. So, Sunny now you know that all the shit they show in TV serials is not that fake... According to this cruel-man(I wud not take the pains of calling him GENTLEMAN), no woman has the right to choose her partner and ofcourse nothing like same gotra marriages. Kitna time hain inn logon ke paas, sahi mein. They call it protecting their honor... Honor by killing the couples who marry in same gotra, by killing women who dare to speak... Fine. No decent language now. I SPIT ON THEIR HONOR-STORY, BULL-SHIT. Yeah! I am angry... so wat... I am just done with this crap of honor and moral policing. I am done with this shit of fake encounters and innocent people being killed... Theek hain, I know I cannot catch these morons by collar and punch them on their face... but I, for sure, can write about it... share about it... and I did just that. SHAME ON Former city police commissioner K R Kaushik, JCP (crime branch) P P Pande, suspended DIG D G Vanzara, then ACP G L Singhal, and ACP N K Amin who planned this encounter for their selfish motives. SHAME ON Mahendra Singh Tikait, the Chaudhary of KHAP community for stupid moral policing. Guys, some day, your past will catch up with you and each one of you will pay for it all...if the findings are true. And of course, Mr. Narendra Modi, do you have anything to say abt it?? I know Mom, Gals should not swear :) but then don't you say good human beings don't harm others... This one is a fair deal here!! P.S. I wonder why these days my posts are more about Jagruti and Revolutions. May be, I have started seeing the world as it is... and not with rose-tinted glasses. Good for me. For news items discussed : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Ishrat-encounter-fake-Probe/articleshow/4984450.cms http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Only-whores-choose-their-partners/articleshow/4984378.cms

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One more PERVERT, One more VICTIM

I donno what state of mind am I in. I really can't make it out. Am I upset?? Am I ashamed?? Am I hurt?? Am I disgusted?? Donno!

It was yet another evening today when I went for my walk and something happened that made me feel so disgusted that I bathed myself until I felt cleaned up of someone's hands. Yuck!!

I was brisk-walking right in front of my house and thought of calling up my friend and as soon as it connected she asked to be a lil loud and before I could make out what she was talking about, a man came from behind on a bike and spanked me so badly on my back, that I was standing there all shocked and my friend kept calling out my name. I simply froze there... I did not know what to do... What could I have done?? Shouted at him, while he drove away full speed...and make a fool of myself...naah!

This is not the first time it has happened to me. I remember, while I working in hyderabad...Me and my roomie went for grocery shopping and on our way to the store... a guy did the same to me... it was a crowded enuff road and nobody even dared to help me, even when I almost fell...

For all the men reading this piece of writing, I donno what you think about THIS and I am no way generalising the whole stuff...but yeah! lemme tell you, it is not as simple as it appears to be...

Do you know how disgusted one feels after being treated like public property? Damn! Indians will never learn their lessons... they never will... The moment a woman steps out of the house, they think ...She is at their disposal...she is meant to be abused, molested and groped... Guys! You Suck!! You suck big-time...coz you know what, I know I cannot recognize u in the dark and I cannot ever grab you by your collars and kick you in your balls but I can for sure feel sorry for your sick mind that treats women as a piece of entertainment... I wud never know even if he would pass by again that its HIM....shit!

Damn! no matter how much I wash myself.... I feel those hands on me... I donno...

And the clauses that people present freak me out...

- Why don't you take your brother along for walk?? Bull-shit!! Why do I need to tag him along in my alone-time?

- Why don't you pre-pone your walk to some time later in the noon? doesnt suit my office time.- Why don't you walk in that park rather than here, there are no bikes there? So, I drive kms to get there everyday...and wht if there are peverts prowling in the park too...thanks.

- Why don't you wear a long jacket and walk?? Oh! sure... I did invite the guy to hit me there with that sportsgear...

- Why did not you catch that guy by his collar and hit him?? Ha ha ha...don't tell me that, as if I knew he wud come, touch and go... How can you even chase someone whoz at high speed on a motor-bike....??

- Why did not you shout ?? Yeah! true... as if it affected him... crap!!

I ask... Why us?? Are we meant to be groped and molested?? Do we really exist to feed someone's sexual desire??

Why do such creeps make me hate myself again and again, when they do this to me??

When will this stop?? I am not the only one whoz going thru this...many of my frenz have been thru this...

Mom asks me not to go for the walk tomorrow at the same time... I shud make it early... I donno if I'll be able to make it to the walk tomorrow... I really donno... A part of me says, "Why do you have to not go?? You are not a loser" and a part of me says, "He'll be back again, he'll do it again"...

Itz really hard to be a woman....guys!! Trust me... when treated like this...u feel like puking and u keep washing urself of someone's hands...but you can't ....coz the damage is right there in my mind...and it will remind me of my helplessness...of my disgust of being born in such a society... of being born a woman who gives birth to a man so one day he goes on the streets and treat other women as trash.

For that guy, I have just one message... You suck asshole... You really do... and You gonna pay for this some or the other way pervert!!

For all the perverts.... Someday someone will chop up off ur balls and you wud know what it takes to hurt a woman physically and psychologically.

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10 things I hate about you...

Dad says - "Everyone has to fight their own battles and when you rely on someone to help you, you have to wait, and when you wait and they don't turn up, you leave it all in despair. You lose a battle without even putting up a fight"

Yeah right!! I agree. Been there, seen that.No sob story, people! No sob story! ;)

It is okay che! When you need them the most, people leave...coz they are there to teach you a lesson. Never Trust. Nopes. Never trust anyone but yourself.

I never understand why is it that when I need to talk...no one has time to hear me out...and let me be...How do I find time for people then? *shrugs* I really donno ;)

- I hate people who make fake promises of being there and that they care for you... wherein all they are looking for is what the mystery is all abt?

- I hate it that I don't have the courage to say so many things to people...but then again...what you can't say...you can write...

- I hate it when someone cracks fat jokes in front of me...frankly, it disgusts me...Yeah! I know, you never realize it coz I never show it.

- I hate it when I call up friends and they all are busy but when they call me - I am always 'at your service' even if I have an imptt project stuff going on.

- It hate it when I want to talk about something serious about me and then people cut me off.

- It does hurt when someone calls me self-obsessed :P I really do feel bad. I donno what that means really..and even n if I am THAT.. I don't like to hear it.

- I hate it when you say you pinged me coz you wanted some time-pass, mood upliftment -- sorry, it makes me lose all my respect for you.

- I hate it when you tell me that we are friends only so we could share happy stuff virtually-- ;) I am not your Joker sweetheart...to make you smile subah shaam.

- I hate it when you pretend to be a friend n show all ur fake concern n care and when it really is needed, you are BUSY ;) haah! Gimme a good reason. Frankly, I never asked for your help in the first place until you took over the responsibility of taking care of me.

- I hate it when you show me that fake sympathy of yours over my life. You know what? Keep it back in your pockets...will help you win some chick!

- I hate it when you feel sorry for me coz I am single... Please don't. I am better off without jerks like you or jerks that you are dating.

- I hate it when you think you have the right to treat me the way you want to, you can shut it off on my face and then come back to me n crack jokes as if nothing happened, without even apologizing. I lost all my respect for you. I will help you always but my heart is just not into you anymore.

Watever... I really don't care...seriously... I may feel bad for a day or so...like am feeling today...and then I will forget about it. I have seen enough shit in life... ;) Even if you give me some more... I can take it... but when it gets too much...am gonna throw it all back on your face, sweetheart...really.

Dear God, Please I don't need to meet any more fakers for atleast a year...else I will never be able to trust again.. Your choice sweets... *shrugs* Coz you have to answer mom... ;) The ball is in your court,honey! :P

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