She stood there frozen and for how long, she could not recall.
It was her phone's mushy ringtone that woke her up from that misty sleep.
"Are you okay?", Anu was almost shouting from the other end.
"Yeah! Yeah! Good Morning", Sia yawned.
"Morning!! Are you nuts? Its noon, sweetie and you got me worried, where were you? You did not answer my calls either." Sia could easily identify with the tension in Anu's voice.
"Uhuh! Am...mmm sorry... I don't know how I slept so late", Sia was confused enough to say anything more.
She stayed up till wee hours in the morning thinking about all those times, thinking about the man she knew she would spent the rest of her life with and she was left stranded in the middle of everything by the same man 4 yrs back. She thought she had healed but she had not healed in any sense at all. Her heart craved for him, the same way it did when they met in the candle-lit ambience of her favourite restaurant. He told her she had the best eyes in the world coz they were mysterious enough for him to look thru them all the time. No, he never told her that he loved her. She never did.
It was not needed in their relationship. They had seen each other through the worst of turmoils and it was understandable. They were best of pals and were a couple to anyone who saw them together. She committed to him in her heart and never let him know. She knew they were meant to be together always as best pals and as two people who would love each other despite imperfections. It was a perfect life until one day he asked her to meet to tell her something she did not how to react to.
"Hey! I thought I should tell you. I am going around with someone", he told her casually, or may be he tried to be casual about it.
"Ahem! Wow! I am happy for you", Sia was so damn fake.
"Yeah! so wassup at your end? Found someone?", Arjun sipped on his whisky as he talked.
"Nopes. I dont need anyone. I gotta rush back home early today, have some work, talk to you later", Sia almost stumbled when she got up to leave.
"Oh! ok. Carry on, gal", Arjun was so plain normal and this irritated her more.
Sooner, he got busier and she got harder to reach. She never made an attempt to talk to him until he called. He did know this will happen and he was ready for it. She buried herself in work and life. She was inaccessible for everyone, everyone including him.
Arjun was suffering too... deep inside... He knew he loved her more than anything in the world but no, he was not good enough for the woman of her dreams. She did not deserve someone like him. He was a dark man, he had a past and he never wanted that to haunt her. He wanted her to be happy. The growing closeness was killing him and he wanted to stop it, right there. He tried to stop himself many a times. One look in her eyes and all his efforts for a restraint on his emotions went haywire. He did.
He started seeing someone, someone he never loved. He loved only HER, he loved Sia but he knew the only way to avoid those mysterious black eyes, that perfect you-made-my-day smile, that sparkle, that LIFE was to move on with someone else.
Neha was someone he has nothing common with. He had no smiles to share and nothing interesting at all, yet SHE loved him and she was not looking for commitment(is what she told him) and this was a big relief for him.
Arjun never had the courage to face Sia after that. He stopped calling her and he knew she would never call. Life was monotonous and tasteless until one day they met. It was HER favourite restaurant, he would have never gone there if not for Neha who insisted on celebrating her promotion there and what he saw there made him regret his decision.
Sia was seated at HER favourite corner with some guy who made her smile, the way she did. She was smiling...no! she was laughing incontrollably now for some reason and her head moved in a seductive manner and her hair touched the guy's face when she tilted her head while she laughed.
"Oh! she's so beautiful", he thought. Arjun wanted to feel her, touch her, make her smile,look into that deep-deep dark of her eyes.
Somehow her being with that guy irked him so much that he was not himself with Neha and finally he did something he never planned to do.
"Hey! Sia. Long time...hmmm... how you doing?", Arjun smiled at her holding hands with Neha.
Sia could not smile anymore and she did not.
"Hi! Yug, this is Arjun. Arjun this Yug", Sia introduced them.
"Give me the pleasure to introduce love of my life, Neha.", Arjun kept his hand on Neha's shoulder and brought her closer to him.
" Hey! Join us. Please". Yug had a great masculine voice and one could hear him talking all-day long. He was among those few men who carry a raw-appeal.
"For sure.", Neha replied before Arjun could say something. Neha was delighted to have met his frenz and she could not let go of this opportunity to make him smile, she thought.
Yug's proximity to Sia was irritating Arjun a lot. He touched those hair, he made those lips smile, he made those eyes twinkle. Not that he did not want those eyes to light up or that smile to touch the bend of her mouth but he would have loved to be the reason behind all this.
"Am I drunk?", he thought to himself. He for sure was. He could not take it anymore and blabbered something, he wished he never ever did.
" Me and Neha are getting married next week.", he sipped from his glass.
Neha gave him a look of surprise. She could not believe it. "Was this his plan? To propose me in front of his friends.", she was too rejoiced to think beyond this.
"Congratulations!", Yug shook hands with Arjun again.
" Oh! Yes... Congratulations both of you. You make a good pair." , Sia said holding back the tears only she knew how.
Sia wanted to run away from this too. She wished it was a bad dream and she will get over it once she wud get up. This bad dream did not end.
"This is such a great day." Yug took a ring out from inside his coat and holding it towards Sia, he said, " At this beautiful moment, I would like to tell you that I love everything about you. They way you never smile, but when you do at my jokes. The way you fumble with that napkin while we chat. The way you play with your hair when you hear me talk. The way you wave at the kids with that little thing you do with your nose. The way you make every moment so special for me. They way you make me feel I AM ALIVE. Today, give me the pleasure to love another way of yours, the way you'll say you'll spend the rest of you life with me. Will you marry me?"
Sia could feel her head buzzing, if not for the presence of some not-so-familiar people, she would have fainted. She drank from her glass of orange juice as to gather strength and nodded her head in approval. She had no choice now.
There was a man she loved and there was this man who loved her so much. She remembered the old saying- Marry the one who loves you for that very moment.
Arjun kept staring at her out of anger,disgust, jealousy, disappointment... he did not know what all adjectives would define his emotions that very moment. "But that's what I wanted", he could not convince himself. No, he could not.
The atmosphere there was getting too tense for Arjun and Sia to bear with. Sia faked a headache and she left all her world behind.
That was then...
Looking out of the window by her bedside, she thought of the times they spent together.
"But why did he come back now??", Sia asked.
Only one man knew the answers to all her questions and that was Arjun.
