Never Give up!

Hello! from the other side.

I am trying to pick up the pieces of my life together. How about you?

Things have eventually started to go on reversal mode, not in full swing..but VERY slowly and VERY gradually. It also might be because I changed my perspective a little bit and I am taking even the smallest of positive moment in my life and making it into a bigger one.

You always have to find a way to deal with life coz that's how it's always going to be. Something somewhere is going to go wrong and you cant just keep sitting over it and sulking.

Also, may be now I am in survival mode. Can't say. But the moment I got to the last of the news that things are going down south, my heart started pounding and I told myself "See, now you have nothing to lose, so give it all in" and the survivor in me roared.

I am glad this happened. A lot of people I am meeting these days tell me I am "daring" "strong" and all that.. but honestly it is just a facade. I still wet my pillows every night thinking about my father, every single day.

Sometimes I am completely engrossed in something at work and it strikes me, I don't have my Daddy anymore.

But yeah! I get up every single day with a hope to do something that would make him happy wherever he is. Sometimes I fail, Sometimes I succeed.

The point is NEVER GIVE UP coz Daddy never did. He tried to live even when he was taking his last breath. He tried, but God had other plans. 

About my relationship with God, I am completely indifferent. God has hurt me..and she has to find a way for me and my family to heal.

My heart breaks for my mom every day, she always had this spark in her eyes.. so much spunk..and it is all gone coz the man she lived for, is not around any more. 

Anyways, I can go on for hours about how deep this cut is or how severe this pain is. It is not going to heal anything. 

Take care..and Live it up coz all that you have is TODAY.

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