It will get better..

This is my shout-out to all those of you trying to sail through lives, sometimes wondering about it and sometimes just hanging in there. It will get better, people. It will.

I have been dreaming about Daddy almost every day. It's like he leaves these secret messages for me every day and I try to make sense of them. Last night, he told me this - "This fear that you have, it is all in your mind. There is nothing to fear. It's all your imagination. There is nothing called fear for real".

I am trying to make sense of it, trying to get the context. I can't. But somehow I feel he is watching me, he is fixing it up for me like he always does.

Oh God! I miss him so much. When does it stop hurting? Worst is no one wants to hear it. Everyone wants to avoid you when you talk of death and dead people. 

Anyways, not that someone listening to my ranting will fix my pain, but sometimes it is good to have someone to talk to.

People think if you are smiling, if you are getting on with your daily routine..everything is normal. Nope it never is. 

Some days I want to yell out to people, Hello!! I am dying inside, can you please save me? can you please stop this pain? The hollow that I have inside me. 

May sound depressing..but I wait to sleep so I can see my daddy for real in my dreams. In my dreams, I can touch him, I can hear him speak..I can be there WITH him..

Sigh!! It will get better.. Yes, it will.. someday