Dear God, We are breaking up!!

Dear God, you know what? It's not funny anymore. You can't just keep doing this to me. You just cant keep ruining me like this, stalling me and making me suffer. This is just NOT done. Why is it that I have to lose everything I love, to actually 'live' through this life.

This does not make sense. I can't be patient anymore. You took away the only man I loved the most in my life, My Dad and left me numb. I did not even bother to talk to you then. Now you are screwing me professionally and personally while I am still trying to pick up the pieces of my life. What's the point of this all? The point of having this relationship with you, when all I am supposed to do is keep begging for stuff to go this way, that way.. a relationship where I always have to be deep shit scared of what life will bring next..what you would send my way.

This is not working. You cannot just do this to me anymore. Crushing each and every dream of mine beneath your feet. I won't take this lying down anymore. I am going to put everything I have in making things right. I always believed that we have a relationship where we understand each other. But I don't understand you anymore, and neither do you. How can you be so heartless and ruthless? How can you be so mean to me? What have I done to piss you off?

You can't just throw everything at me at once. I am but only human. I can take as much. 

Either you have to right these wrongs or we are done. I know Daddy won't ever be back. That's okay. I will accept it some day. May be some day I will stop hurting like I do. I am sitting at my desk at work, on the verge of tears and writing this. This is my last call to save our relationship. I don't want us to go bad. But I can't help it anymore. You can't just keep sucking the life out of my life and expecting me to keep loving you. That's just not done.

And before I go, I just want you to know..I really loved you. I think what we had was special. I don't know anymore. 

4 comments:

Priyadarshini Joyce May 12, 2016 at 7:44 AM  

This too shall pass. Bass date raho. :)

Unknown May 12, 2016 at 9:27 AM  

Donot worry Harshita things will be fine soon... I used to feel helpless before but things have settled down little bit and will settle further more... I know all these bad experiences makes us disheartened and we loose trust on God ... I still feel disheartened at times but again try to regain strength and fight it out ...

Sakshi May 12, 2016 at 10:49 AM  

You know I have gone through enough of these tough times. And its practically become a routine. Just when I think that things are going smooth, wham, life throws a curve ball. And you know somehow the blog, and the blog friends (like you) have helped me through.
I am truly sorry for your loss. I know what dad means to a daughter. And it is a pain that is going to stay there forever, like a piece of yourself missing. But, you will learn and see the signs about now your Dad being up there with God to help you steer your life.
All I can offer you is a big hug and tell you that we are right here! Big hugs girlie!

Me May 12, 2016 at 10:58 PM  

Dear Nanhi Pari, Yatika and Sakshi

Thanks for the kind words and hugs <3 Means a lot at this time. Lots of love.

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