Mission Dulhaa Bhagaao!!

Before everyone assumes that I got hit by a truck (in my case, a car wont do) or got married (naa baba), I am masti mein jeeyofying. I know blogging took a backseat... not coz I had nothing to write... just that, I was too busy juggling personal and professional life... I am sure kisi naa kisi ne toh mujhey miss kiya hoga ;) Chalo ji, I am back.. and today, fulfilling my promise of a post on potential grooms.I think, this is the best time to write one coz recently I met a potential groom... how was he? what happened? All the updates, later. But he inspired me to come up with this post coz now I know what I need to do shoo a potential groom away... shooing him away was difficult, so a good lesson learnt... It has to be a well-executed plan, wherein we have to focus all our energies.Shuru kartey hain points mein, hamesha ki tarah(lol) : 1. First and foremost : DO NOT TAKE BATH for 2 days altogether. This is the most impactful thing you can do. Of course, spend due time in the shower.. let it run...you can read your fav book in the meanwhile :D. Pretend that you have lost your perfume,deo or watever at the last minute. 2. Wear Sleevless(irrespective of the season), and DO NOT SHAVE YOUR UNDER-ARMS (Yuck!). Raise your hand, once or twice, while talking to the potential groom (the subject or let's call him PG)...LOL 3. Skip two visits to the parlor in a row(if its a pre-planned meeting)... let nature take its own course... let those eyebrows..those hair... those moustaches grow... :D Natural Beauty isey hi toh kehtey hain... 4. It is important that your family does not suspect anything, else things can turn bad... so you have to take every step with lots of secrecy and focus. 5. On the day of meeting, eat beans in breakfast and 1 raw onion before you start(preferably dipped in vinegar) and keep that chewing gum away till you reach the venue. It helps in farts,burps and bad breath. *THUMBS-UP* 6. Wear nice clothes(kisi ko shaque nahi hona chahiye), you have full freedom to let you hair loose, they will help later. 7. As soon as you reach the venue, say hurried hellos... and run to the loo(no matter if u need it or not)... 8. Fake a trip or fall, as you reach the table where everyone is seated. Fake a smile. 9. Talk in hindi, punjabi, tamil, telugu, marathi...all desi bhaasha... except ENGLISH... 'SH' ko 'S' bolo... 'S' ko 'SH'. 10. Make sure some of your hair land up in the glass of water... ;) and then say... "Oh! ahem! sorry sorry" and pretend to clean the table with your handkerchief. Nothing else sucks more. :D 11. Apney character assasination ki zarurat nahi... so no use talking abt boyfriends that led to abortions, kids(if any)..:P 12. You shud behave as if you donno how to handle a fork and a knife while eating... use your fingers...for eating... something as easy as Rice even... :D 13. And come on! I dont need to tell you how to SLURRRRRP the coffee/tea... make that sound.. yeah! yeah! THAT sound every time you take a sip. 14. Giggle unnecessarily, fart now and then... Sneeze so he suspects SWINE FLU... let the droplets land somewhere near him... :P 15. Appear disinterested when he talks... ;) works all the time... other alternative is, dont let him talk.. Talk abt chachiji, massiji, auntyji, pappuji...buntyji... ;) Arey yaar...bas... haath dard ho gaye... baaki tips baad mein... I am sure these tips will help you in LEVEL 1.... and if the guy still dares to set-up a second meeting... :D I will share some advanced level tips...especially meant for LEVEL 2. Aur haan, add-in your tips... kya pata future mein, mere kaam aa jaaye... Contrary to whatever I have written, I turned up well-dressed and of course smelling good and let him talk... So this is how I realized where I went wrong... par yeh galti baar baar nahi hogi :) :) Miltey hain!! :D :D Mujhey sabki posts padni hain... itney din ho gaye... ciao!