Honesty is NOT the best policy...

You know, today I was just sitting and watching the kids play outside and I realized that the reason life is easier as a kid is coz you are born without any filters. You speak your mind and nobody really judges you. But then all these older people come in and they start teaching you --"Beta, don't say this...don't say that" I know! I know! all they want is for us to know is that sometimes we should not say a couple of things to avoid hurting other people, but then isn't that being dishonest.


I mean I myself walk on a very thin line when it comes to such stuff. I am a really sensitive person so I do understand that I have to think a 100 times to say something unpleasant to someone, so I would try to make it seem like a concern or a compliment or probably sugar-coat it a bit. But with people I really really care about, I just walk up to them and I am really blunt..It's like "Hello!! why are you wearing that brown lipstick,Ewwwwwww?" or "Hey! I think that guy is using you for money"..

Trust me, I never gained anything out of being honest and blunt & neither did I by being polite and sensitive. It's like people are stupid. They want you to be honest, but at their convenience. They want you to be sensitive but then they want you to speak the truth coz you know, "You are my friend" or "you are my family".

I am one of those stupid people myself. I just can't find a balance between honesty and being sensitive. And I know my husband is always at the receiving end coz of that. You can't choose one, it's a lot to do with timing I think.

All in all, in today's world, people do not appreciate honesty much. It's like "You know HKM, man!! she is crazy weird man!! she is just too honest man! not for this world..not for this world".. hahahahahaha..

But then, I like being weird..that's just me. I am this whole package and I am not for everyone. If you have me for a friend or for family, trust me to hold you back when I know you are jumping in a well or to slap you hard out of a stupid decision. Oops!! just metaphorically...

Like right now I wanna be really honest towards whoever is reading this. Guys!! you remember people who bullied you in school and college..or probably did not even know that you existed..?? Do you? and now how they want to be your bestest friends on every social media network. I am like what the hell, I know how evil you are..and have been and that's never gonna change... so why bother?

Also, people with no sense of humor, please steer clear of my blog..friends with me or not friends with me.

I am too old to bother with the justification shit..read it at your own risk...and if you get offended, please don't bother me with it...

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Kudi Punjaban in Amrika!!

It's been a long time. Almost a year, that I have shifted base to another country. There does not go a single day when I don't miss my home, my country. 

But then, sometimes there are certain decisions we HAVE to take. I have travelled across the world before too, but never made another country my home. This is new. It's more like I left a part of me back home in India.

All my friends, my family and my life is there. Everything is so real and personal in my hometown. The golgappe waale uncle still recognizes me, after all these years. I was 5 yrs old when I first tasted Golgappe ka khatta waala paani. He always addressed me as "Gudiya". The chemist, the grocery store guy, the temple priest, the chowkidaar, the kirayedaars...everyone seems important now.

I always was one of those people who wanted to get lost in a crowd, in a country where no one knows me...but this is real NOW. I miss home, I miss all these people and everything that irritated me about my house, my colony and my people.

At different junctures in life I have realized that I never am the person that I think I am. I mean I was supposed to be this loner, right?? But I guess I am not. I miss my dad's yelling, my mom's pestering to eat on time, my Chachu's constant taunts over my work-hours, the sachcha pyaar of my dogs - Happy & Rustam, the teasing and fights with my brothers, the gossip with my sis-in-laws.

Sigh!! Yep, Amrika is a good country and all that..but Amrika ne dil bech ke buildings kharid li hain...Mere desh mein ab bhi dil zindaa hain...buildings nahi ghar hain :)

I still remember almost a year back when I was leaving home, I secretly kissed the walls of my room and promised to come back some day, for real..for good.. 

The only thing I enjoy in Amrika is that I can walk from my house to the stores without worrying about some guy groping me, slapping me or molesting me. I know I will not be judged for I am a woman and I will not be type-casted the way I am back home. No country is foolproof, I know..but some are just better in some ways..

Anyways!! THIS we will talk about some other day.

Mast raho, Dilchasp raho...and please leave your blog links in comments, if you read this. My blogroll is really old and most of you have updated your blog links.

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Learnings from my marriage - v1.0.

Can't believe I have been married for 1.5 yrs already or that I have known my Patidev (yep! that's what I call him at times *wink*) for past 4.5 years. Really, time just flies by.

I said in my earlier marriage-post that I will come back and update. Well! there is way too much to say and share.

First of all, I think marriage made me grow up a little bit and sober down somehow. Being the typical front-bencher that I have been, I will mention what all I have learnt in the past 1. 5 years in bullet points :P *ting*

• I have learnt to be a lot more patient. Now, I wait for people to finish what they are saying before I react. Earlier, on the basis of their first few sentences I would mentally sum-up my reaction and blurt it out..not anymore.
• I have learnt to "listen". Yes, this is an art and it ofcourse is important for every relationship.
• I have learnt to love despite difference of opinion.
• I have accepted that people won't change their core characteristics ever, so it is always better to make peace with it and be happy
• I have embraced love that comes my way every day in different forms, sometimes as a song he hums while I cook for him in the kitchen, sometimes as a wink from him when we are in separate groups at a party, sometimes as a angry stare at me when I gobble up blackberry jelly in one go :P
• I have learnt to value my mother 100 times more that I ever did. What would I have done without her? OMG!! she is my guardian angel and go-to-person for all the "how-tos" Always lending a patient ear to my ramblings about stuff.
• I have learnt to buy sabzi-bhaaji.. and grocery. I can now easily bargain over Dhania-mirchi with my local sabziwaala.
• I have learnt to share special dishes I cook, with my super-cook padosan cum friend.
• I have learnt how to install a LPG cylinder on my own, how to fix broken taps, how to extract 5 milk products out of 2 litres of milk..hehehe
• I have learnt how the stereotypes of men and women were lame and all in my head, when he offered to do the dishes and share house-work with me.
•  I learnt you should be honest in marriage but sometimes it is better to stay mum than to voice your exact feelings at THAT moment. 
• I learnt that sometimes it is so fulfilling to do things to make someone else happy.
• I learnt that traditions and rituals are so much fun.
• I learnt that people will always return warmth with love.
• I learnt that if you treat them as your parents, they will love you as their daughter.
• I learnt that mother-in-laws are not devils as they are projected to be, they are sensitive, caring and loving just like every other woman you know..and just that they love their sons way too much and their lives surround around their kids, so you should not expect them to LET GO when you come into picture. They will always have wisdom to share and the secret to the happiness of the whole family. and How can you forget the funny stories about the husband's childhood..?
• I learnt that there will be differences, there will be arguments, but it is not always necessary to stand your ground and fight for it. At times, a delayed reaction helps.
• I learnt that no matter how much he teases you in person, he will always give a proud smile when he is out with you.
• I learnt it is as challenging and new to me, as it is to him.
• I learnt that me and him, we are a team.
• I also learnt ki itti baat karne se nazar lag jaati hain (Courtesy: Mumma and Mom :P )

So I will stop now. All in all, life is like a sinusoidal wave now. Up! Down! Up! Down! Up! Bah!! Hope you guys are having fun. More to come soon.

Mast raho, Dilchasp raho! 

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Enough is enough!

There are some battles that we need to fight alone. Where we close in, go into a shell and detach ourselves from the people we love the most..

There are days where we wish we could just stay in bed, hide under a blanket and not do this life thing anymore. 

I know some days are good, while some are bad.. May be this is just a phase. But when you put your heart and soul into something and people still mistrust you, you tend to lose your confidence.

It is difficult right now. I don't want to talk to anyone, just sink deep into a shell and find my way back.

Feeling highly demotivated at work...it is just my inner something making me go own.

Tired of this blame game and being misunderstood as a person I am not. Tired of explaining myself. 

So I decide to turn silent and bitter for once...I decide to let my work speak for me..I decide to stop letting people in.. I decide to build the fence again...

Enough is enough...

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Thank you

Sometimes when we work too hard, sacrificing on various aspects of life... and the end result is disappointing...it becomes difficult to stay motivated.

Such is the time now. 

Mom says "There is always something good in the offing when you think it is all going down". I think she is right.

My project getting cancelled, Me being diagnosed with gallstones...all these things seem to prove her point right.

One surgery down, I feel better...Yep! I lost on some good opportunities at work, but it gave me time to strengthen my relationships, to spend a great deal of time with my loved ones and to realize who is by my side, when it is not alright.

Yesterday, on my birthday, I thanked God silently for all the good things in my life. Ya! I am still demotivated at work...but I know.. When we hit rock bottom, the only way is UP!! 

Mast raho, Dilchasp raho!

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The Key to a successful marriage...

I had a lot of notions about marriage before I got married, but I have eventually realized that it is indeed an important part of our lives. Like those earlier transitions - school, college, job.. marriage is yet another transition.

It is huge for sure. I mean it is Part 2 of your life. There is a life you have before marriage and then there is one that you have after you find your partner. It is like doing life from scratch.

Marriage is more than living with a room-mate (I have seen some cosmo-types sites suggesting that married people should stay like paying guests, Bullshit!). Like living with your parents, teaches you whole lot of patience. Part 2 of your life, teaches you another kilogram of patience.


You adapt to new people, new environment.. and so they do. But all in all, in our country the generic expectation is that the woman should adapt, but things are changing a bit with the men coming forward and making an effort.

One thing I have realized is no matter what you do.. Manz and Womanz log, you MUST know basic household work, for the sake of your partners. Because when you live together, only one person cannot carry the burden of household work. It is ofcourse YOUR house and both of you would want to keep it tidy and a good place to live in, but yeah! you would need some skills.

Living out of the suitcase, most of my life, it came across as a big challenge for me. But with the patience and support of my partner, I learnt how to manage home and work at the same time. 

Guys, you MUST learn to cook, clean, wash etc.. like women do.. because with your gal working and travelling like you do, it won't make sense eating out everyday or living in a hellhole. Unless you want bigger bellies etc.

Another thing we gals need to learn is to SHUT UP sometimes. So you had a bad day, someone bitched about you, the maid did not turn up, there is too much politics at work, or you know that your partner is not right in conventional terms or there is something they said and did which is hurtful or there is something bothering you...Sometimes it is better to shut-up and wait, than blabber/react and make things worse.

All I know of men, they are very conclusion-oriented beings. What means a 'conversation' to a woman, is a 'fight' to a man..  :P  Since we women have a tendency to just keep blabbering about our day and major-minor issues, Men immediately jump in for our protection and start offering solutions, which we don't want. We can find our own solutions. All we want is someone we know cares enough to listen to us,  don't we? and I think Men cannot get it.. since they are programmed to be the problem-fixers. This is what they have lived upto.

Anyways, all in all, Marriage is pure fun.. because there is so much to learn and explore every single day.. about YOU, about THEM and about the relationship itself.. 

So like every relationship, you will have some good days, some bad days.. What matters is what you make of it..  I still don't understand why people crib about marriage.. You either do it or get out..

There is absolutely NO key to a successful marriage.. you just gotta be there, stop taking it too seriously and live it up :) :)

Will add more, as I know more..

Tab tak.. mast raho! dilchasp raho

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Tumhare haath ka takia...

I managed to scribble this down at the back of my notebook...for my special...

Tumhare haath ka takia
Aur sukoon ki neend..

Tumhari sharaarti hasii
Aur mera jhoothi moothi mooh banaana

Tumhara mujhey daant-na
Aur mera foot-ti hasii ko dabaana

Tumhari complaints ki lambi si list
Aur mujhe tum pe aur pyaar aana

Tumhari bachchon jaisi curiosity
Aur mera maath pe haath maar ke khud ko badaa dikhaana

Tumhara gusse mein mooh fulaana
Aur mera tumhe minnatein karke manaana

Kabhi mera hi rooth jaana
Aur tumhara bahaane se mujhey hasaana

Tumhara mujhey budhdhu bataana
Aur mera tumhare saamne budhdu ban jaana

Tumhara har cheez mein mera khayaal rakhna
Aur mera phir bhi tumhe har roz sataana

Tumhara pyaar karna par na bataana
Mera iss baat par roz tumhein do baatein sunaana

Tumhara neend mein badd badaana
Mera tumhe dekh ke mann mein muskuraana

Tumhara pyaar ek dum masoom
Mera bhi hain thoda bachkaana...

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