Once a saint, Now a sinner

Kitni Baatein Hain, Kehna Chahoon Main.

Thanks a lot for your prayers for I's dad. I am sure, the BIG guy up there will listen to us and make some ammends there. Life is pretty busy these days. I am shuffling between work,home and sickness. Seems the fever is taking too long again.The last time it stuck around after typhoid, I got rid of it when the ENT person gave me meds for allergy. My physician asked me to wait for 2 more days and then they will run blood tests for all sorts of diseases(some of the names are really scary). I am so sick of these pathos sucking my blood out...lol Meanwhile I realized I have a lot to share apart from the usual boring sickness stuff: 1. First of all, long time I have talked to Raka, she is my sweetest pal and I could not even find time to chat or talk to her. I miss her a lot but then amidst all the nuisance, I make sure I read her. I so very wanted to be there with her, sharing and predicting the next part of the story she is writing. It is done now, though. So no matter what you are always on my mind, gal. 2. I missed the wonderful posts each one of you write. I mean, I can relate to each one of you through posts. I know that when it comes from Abhishek, it wud be full of bindaas-giri, when it will be from Zirelda, it wud be more personal...and just like that. I missed and am missing all that fun coz after all the work and fuss, I get so tired that I pop the pills doc gave me to shoo fever away and I sleep. 3. I have my MBA exams coming up starting Feb and ending at the end of March. Trust me! I have not read a single chapter as yet. I donno how I'll pass them. 4. I have back to back trngs to deliver starting Feb 2 and ending in March. Too much pressure. Am definitely going to fail in my exams. :) This time, I'll also be delivering classes for Germans. I am not sure what kinda people they are. Will have to read up about them before the class. God help my vocal chords!! 5. Ankit-Arpit celebrated their bday on JAn 28 and I missed on posting something abt them. They are my twin brothers. :) 6. Femme Fatale is happening and I am not.. ;) 7. I am sick of being sick. :P and so is everyone around me...hehe...They are sick of hearing that I am sick. Damn! too much SICKness in this pointer. :D 8. I am not able to resume my exercise but THANK GOD!! I have not gained even an ounce so far. 9. I am going to read all your blogs this weekend for sure else I feel too out of touch. 10. Mom and Sunny made a video where they interviewed me about the veggies I eat and sadly I realized I named - Potatoes,Tomatoes and Onion as the main ones on my list....hahaha and they were hilariously shocked. I need to start eating greenies now.Uhuh! This reminds me, Mom cooked Spinach with Ghodey waali daal( I mean Chanaa Dal) and I had to eat it...OMG. 11. I am made to eat Amla every morning now and it is too sour, I wonder if my mom thinks that I'll die of sickness someday....lolWhat's next? MILK? Nooooo.... 12. Happy and Rustam fought and made up, but Rustam (the german shephered) beats the hell out of Happy Singh(the small spitz) everyday, so no matter how TIDE-jaisa white Happy is in the mrng, he becomes a yellow yello dirty fellow by nite...hahaha 13. My fone has gone bad and am using Baba Adam ke Zamaaney ka mobile fone these days and its too tuff to operate it. 14. Office mein sabki haalat kharaab ki bhaiya ab recession mein kahin naukri naa chali jaaye...roz calls and roz fighting :D 15. I secretly want that nothing comes in my blood-tests except that I am allergic coz I don't want to pop more pills... AB BAS!! Baaki, life hain... nautanki toh hogi hi...toh jab tak hain, mast hi jeeyengey... dekhein kya bigadta hain ;) And please don't drop me sad-sad messages in comments, I am fine, samjhey!...its just that...may be the allergy I had few months back is back. Tussi fikar naa karo, Punjabi hun, dekh loongi iss fever ko bhi... (dont you worry) Toh tension nahi leney ka... Mast Jeeney ka... ;) Pics : http://blufiles.storage.live.com/y1pFVmig3k601PCZUHM3KXrFBqqb6vD391A9hVkwh7oIHU5LQ7OL9czuMXVMPsLVczh

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Courage is 'HER'

My friend 'I' asked me," Why do me and you have all the problems in our lives and everyone else has a smooth go at life"? I did not know what to say, she was right when she said that coz she has seen a lot in life. It does piss you off when everyone else is having a great time while life is screwing you hard. We both have been friends for more than 7 years now and we have seen each other grow as individuals. We have had our share of downs... and yeah! not to forget the balancing ups. :) Her dad is suffering from Bone Cancer and nothing is working for him. Even the chemotherapy is not able to relieve him from the pain he goes thru everyday. Seeing your parents go thru pain is the worst that can happen to anyone. :( She is going through it for past 4 yrs almost and I have been a witness to HER pain all thru. She has been the strength and pride of her parents. To manage it all (work,home,hospitals), is not an achievable task but she does it everyday with that smile on her face which tells life,"I am not going to get tired.No, I will not give it up".Full of life, is how I remember her and this is how I relate to her. A beautiful person with an amazing sense of humor is a rare find and she is just that. I remember how we both used to walk on the hostel terrace every nite after dinner under the starry sky and dream of a great future for each other. We both dreamt of making our parents proud and doing something so when we grow old and look back, we wud not regret the life we lived. Jokes,Masti, Chotey-Motey Jhagdey aur Khatti-Meethi baatein, we had an amazing bond and now, when I see her go thru all the pain, I just want to give her a warm hug and tell her,"Oye! Sardarni, Main hoon naa yaar, Tu fikar naa kari...Aiss mushkil nu vi asi chhadaangey nahi, aidee vi kamar tod deyangey..."(Oye! I am always there for you. Lets break the spine of this problem too and move on). I wish I cud make it all vanish for her so she could smile the way she did earlier, so she cud dream again, so she cud live life the way she wanted to.... When I look at her, I feel ashamed of all those people who tell me that life is a pain and blah blah... coz not able to look good, not able to find a boyfriend, not able to be famous, not able to score marks etc are not at all problems worthy enough to be losing hope for....if you look at her. I salute her for her spirit for living it up even when life is messing it up for her. SHE is what I call a brave woman, a woman of substance...Braving all odds, she is facing life and fighting a new battle everyday... She does not even know that I blog so shez not going to read this one ever and good that she will not, coz it wud embarass me. Some friendships are such, where you don't express but you still love each other, where you don't voice it but you still stand by each other... We share such a bond... Today, thru this piece of writing I just want to share what comes to my mind every nite when I pray for her dad in my night prayers.. I go thru all these thoughts every nite almost.... But,the more I know of her... I tell myself...."No I will try not to crib anymore...Life is beautiful... Yeah it is.. Despite all its lows,it is good enuff to live and smile thru." We should consider ourselves blessed for all that we have. I request you all to pray for her dad... I truly believe Prayers can do what Science cannot.

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Thoda sa kuch mujhey bhi kehna toh hain....

I always tell myself -- "Yes, I will reply to all the comments on the blog" but I don't and frankly, I really want to, but I don't. Don't know why? Ohkay! hit me for tht.

Anyways, this is a weird and un-usual post...quiet like me.. may be...badi saari baatein hain waisey...

- I have a new baby sister now (my massi gave birth to the li'l angel on 26th Jan)-- we have not thought of a name yet but she is popular by the name of Khushi, as of now ;) and that's Khushi in the picture for everyone wanted to see her.

- I have this weird bond with pregnant women, I just want to know how they feel, what they eat, I love to hear their stories no matter if it involves nausea n blah blah. One of my frenz always said ki aisa lagta hain jaisey tu expect kar rahi hain :P Seriously, it is too brave a thing to give birth, someday I will do the same. :)

- My once close-friend got married last month and she did not care to talk to me about it. We always planned for her D-day...hmm...She just sent a casual invite mail where I was amongst the list of 55 people, while I was in UK. I called her n sms her roz, but there is no response. I really have no clue, why? All I tell myself is -- may be she has her own reasons. Anyways, I wish her luck.

- I got fairly good ratings at work but then, I am not convinced about the increments and all. Still, I am happy. I want to do much much better this year.

- My boss suddenly woke up to the fact that I am also one of the people in the team and he has now assigned me the MOST difficult task of all. I really have no idea where to begin and how to...but still, every time I fall, I tell myself-- You gotta prove it not to anyone else but you.

- This is the time when I needed support of friends and some understanding from them. Funny, this life is.It was withdrawn as soon as it was expected to be extended. :)

- I am having a constant difference of opinion with a lot of people close to me and finally, I am giving into the cliche coz I can't fight the norms of society right now. I tell myself - may be laters, I will get my turn too.

- Nopes. I am not hurt coz I have been misunderstood a lot. This time,I will not clarify to anyone coz I am tired. If you like me the way I am, with my imperfections, my mood-swings, my tantrums and a li'l bit of that honest love inside me -- it's great.. else wish u luck for future.

There is a lot more I wanna say aivayee, idhar-udhar ka, but then, may be, kabhi aur.. kisi din fursat mein :) Sab apna khayaal shayaal rakhkho...doston se lado par pyaar karo... aur yaar, life fultoo jeeyo... :D

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PARADISE LOST

'Shock' and 'Anger' brings me back to the blog-world. I never thought I wud come back to the blog like this but I could not help it. The news of the assault of women at Amnesia- a pub in Mangalore has shocked me. I know I live in a country where women are treated like shit and they are meant to be raped,molested and exploited. Oh! how did I forget it? Why this shock?? I donno. May be, I expected things to improve after what happened outside JW Marriot in Mumbai. I thought such things will not happen again, I was so wrong. Damn! How did I forget that I have some self-appointed moral police telling women what to wear, how to behave, when to smile, what to speak, how to breathe...?? BULLSHIT!! I donno how to put my emotions in words. I am simply pissed off with that Bloddy Asshole Shetty who is giving shameless interviews on news channels advocating his right to stop women from boozing and appealing to mothers and parents to stop their daughters from going to pubs and discotheques. Damn you bloody bastard!! You first get your act in place... Asshole... Who are you to tell someone what to do and what not to do?? Bloody frustrated soul, he made people molest women on the pretext of morally policing them. I hate to live in such a world. You ask me if I should try changing it... Damn! what shud I do? Kill these men?? Haan! All I can promise myself is that I will make sure that if I ever have a son and then I will teach him to be a responsible human being who understands that women are not meant to be treated like shit... treated the way they are treated now and then in my beautiful country, I wish I was proud of... I mean, how can you ever tell a woman not to booze or dance or enjoy... Does not she have the right to live it up like men do?? I myself am not into alcohol not coz I think it is down-market for a woman to do so...Nopes... Its only coz I personally feel it is something which will not affect me positively... Thats it... What do I say now?? I am facing this loss of words... I am angry, disappointed, broken and hurt yet again... Will this country ever stop hurting women... Will they ever realise that women have a right to live too... Will they ever let us women breathe in the air of freedom?? Pics : http://s3.causes.com/photos/lK/z6/AF/rm/RE/mY/dTnJ.jpg

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For those who missed me and who did not ;)

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Because Ramit said so....

Yes. I am not fond of doing tags but then am pretty fond of Ramit ;) So this one is for him. I started off with a "Yeah! I need to do it feeling" but enjoyed answering it all thru.

Ramit, neither I have a sexy secretary nor a bald head to boast about, but still have tried :D :D

1. What is your current obsession?
The Armani watch gifted by Bhai

2. What are you wearing today?
Black leggings, Pink long shirt and a boring earthy jumper.

3. What’s for dinner?
Chicken gravvy. Being a veggie, me skipping dinner tonite. Had golgappas ummmmmm...

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Extra luggage at Leeds airport. India aakey Dad is buying everything I need. *feels pampered*

5. What are you listening to right now?
Mandy Moore asking Matthew Goode to sleep with her in a movie called 'Chasing Liberty'.

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
I think he is the perfect friend everyone looks for :) Sometimes I so much want to be like him (except for the hair, of course). I think his real-life friends are pretty lucky to have him around.

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
San Jose, California

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
White cotton kurtas and blue faded jeans... ahem! I prefer shorts too, but mom threw them away :|

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Rome.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Urdu. I want to read Mirza Ghalib and Gulzar.

11. What’s your favourite quote?
When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up :)

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Ramit and go on a holiday to Mill Valley, CA with him. (remember Ramit??) ;)

13. What is your favourite colour?
White n Blue

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
1. Kohl for eyes and a nude lip gloss/balm works the best no matter wen n where. 2. Trust black when nothing else works. 3. You dont need a box full of jewellery to look gud. Simple n less is classy.

15. What is your dream job?
Senior Intelligence and Defence Strategist. Ohkay! Don't laugh.

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Reader's Digest (it is kinda under extinction now) :|

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Save for Bhai's new phone.

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
Red leather pants :| :|

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Paris Hilton

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
A simple straight trim...may be a fringe... good for my long hair.

21. What are you going to do after this?
Watch Chelsea's match in Barclay's Premier League

22. What are your favourite movies?
Dil Se, Naach, Unfaithful, Crank, Moksha.

23. What inspires you?
People who are challenged (mentally/physically) and still they live it up.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Harshi/Moti

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
Tea in winters, Coffee in summers.. *thts funny, huh!*

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
I clean my room, closet and desk.

27. What makes you go wild?
Ahem!! depends on what u r talking abt :P

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
Personal Blogs, the most. I can relate to people who talk about their lives more than the abstract blogs. Like Ki, Ramit, Mads, Nidhi,Gaurav, Peter, AD, Richa, Americanising Desi,Zirelda, Skeeter,Sugarcube,Nanhi Pari. And I spend a considerable time reading stories at Mahesh's, Rohit's and Arjun's blog.

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Gulaab-Jamun

30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
3

31. Favorite Season?
Monsoon. I love the rains.

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Chicken gravvy, Tandoori Chicken, Jeera Rice aur Lachcha Paranthey

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Like Ramit also mentioned;Try ignoring and it is easy to move on and forgive. But am not a saint, some ppl I try hard, but can't forgive.

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Losing my loved ones.

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Huh! I still look the same. Damn! the Genie in the dream was a fake.

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly?
Old happy-couples, Small kids and yeah! wen Happy and Rustam come running to me just like that and try to cuddle.

37. A word that you say a lot?
Yeah

38. When was the last time you had sex?
Huh! that is sarcastic... :|

39. What is the antidote, when you are upset?
Golgappas and a warm hug.

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10 Great Things About Being Sick

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Once a saint, Now a sinner

Kitni Baatein Hain, Kehna Chahoon Main.

Courage is 'HER'

Thoda sa kuch mujhey bhi kehna toh hain....

PARADISE LOST

For those who missed me and who did not ;)

Because Ramit said so....

10 Great Things About Being Sick

Saints and Sinners

Blast from the past

Emotions and Notions

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Silent and Not-so-silent readers

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