Raped...Molested...Harassed...Whoz that gal??
The more I think that I will stay away from writing, the more it pulls me towards itself. This time I had no plans to be back and blog abt anything but I HAD to. I had to on behalf of every gal I know and I don't know.
Something is disturbing me day in...day out. Every other blogger writes abt it and every other blogger comments about it but sadly, it never ceases to happen.. or shud I say there is a new victim every day...
The word in itself will bring horror to the minds of many readers (especially female readers)... RAPE is the dreaded word...
I dont intend to depress people but then I can't fake it... so my state of mind right now at 11:30 pm, is of disgust and frustration... I keep telling myself... No, its not going to happen to me.. and I KNOW that I am LYING to myself... It can happen to anyone.
Before the guys come out with all sorts of stuff like "Men are raped too" like Shiney Ahuja's wife is shouting off the rooftops these days... I wud say "Gimme a break guys... it is not as often as women"...But I do stand up for the fact that be it a man or a woman, Rape is a heinous crime.
Now I am not going to say things abt law and stuff here... coz everyone knws abt it here... we knw it is a crime...and blah blah...
What is the point in knowing it all when I can't do anything abt it?? If I step outside my house for work in my office's AC car, I dont think abt my future or probably something that makes me happy... instead I keep telling myself that I'll reach home safely at the end of the day. The situation is worsening especially in NCR and Delhi.
I don't trust the cops, neither the crowd nor the people who claim to be my frenz. Why should I trust either of them??
The crowd watched shamelessly when a gal gets slashed on her face by some men who try to molest her in the bus and no one even tried to help her. I ask such people "Abey! apney ghar jaakar apney zinda honey pe sharam aati hain ki nahi?? Mera Happy Singh bhi kisi ko musibat mein dekh key usey bachaaney ki koshish karta hain..."
I know, there is no use of saying anything to anyone...
Five cops raped a lonely woman on the pretext of questioning her. What the hell? Who wud trust the cops? Who trusts them anyways?? I feel scared of the men in khakhi since the time I was a kid coz I saw them assualting a woman in full public view in UP. :(
Friends are turning into rapists... I think people are just getting worst day by day.. the limits to insanity are being crossed every moment...
Rape is not only a crime, it is a psychological torture you put the other person thru for life. Kya bolun main? I donno... Kuch samajh nahi aata... koi kis ko takleef dekar... kaisey khush ho sakta hain...
I have come across people, who very proudly say "Abey yaar, main toh trade fair isliye jaata hun... ki bheed mein 2-4 ladkiyon pe toh haath maarney ko mil hi jaata hain"... You might be thinking "Ladki hain, kaisey likh rahi hain"... Sach bolun... Mainu koi farak nahi painda... I dont care even if I shoo some of you away with this avatar of mine... but I really want to make a point here...
I, the woman, am done with it...
When I step out to have my say in processions, the cops manhandle me and put their hands inside my clothes when they abuse me and push me in the crowd. When I step out to attend my tutions, some rich-guys push me in their cars and rape me. When I step outside to go to work so I can earn for my living and my family, I get raped in the name of job interviews. When I step outside to breathe in the air that know no distinction between a man and a woman, I get molested and fondled my men on bikes. When I step outside to make my dreams come true, I am harassed sexually in the name of opportunity. The man I trust the most, gets his friends along and rapes me. The man I consider my idol while I am growing up, rapes me and does not hesitate even once coz of the father-daughter bond we share.
I was also tormented a lot during my teens when I used to travel in buses and walk on roads for my college, tutions and stuff...But one fine day, all the patience and tolerance gave way to REVENGE and AGONY... I gave it back to the people who harassed me... but this was of no use... they did not trouble me anymore... but they did not stop troubling the others... :(
I think every man who tries to cross boundaries with a woman shud remember one thing... that there is always a day when even the most scared soul wud break her tolerance point and THAT day will for sure be the LAST day of this man's happy life... Kehtey hain naa... The more you suppress someone, the stronger they come back to you and avenge themselves.
I know ME and YOU can't do much abt it. But atleast, we can start somewhere. I know agar college mein ek gang ho and the one of the guys is passing lewd comments for a gal... no one wud object... and the one who does... gets it back in the form of "Saaley! teri behan hain kya?" " Kyon bey bahut bura lag raha hain?" "Teri line hain kya?"... Par yaaron dont give up... if you feel that something is wrong, Stand up for it!! It really does make a difference.
I know koi kisi ke pachdey mein nahi padna chaahta aajkal... par do remember... kal jab khud musibat mein hogey naa... then you will realise the importance of it.
Gals!! Tolerate mat karo yaar... Stand up for urself no matter who that person is, whoz troubling you... You need to start fighting for yourself.
Guys!! Soch key dekhney ka... kisi ki life ki baat hain... if you find a gal in trouble, getting teased and harassed... HELP HER yaar... else kya karogey... bas hero banogey kya branded kapdey pehan key yaar....
Be safe and take care... and if any of you felt offended by the post... get yourself an appointment with a Counsellor... Sochna iss baarey mein zarur... kya pata... aapki help se... kisi ki life bach jaaye... hain ki nahi... Chalo yaaron... khayaal rakhna!!
60 comments:
Tuney behot achchey sey or behot sahi likha hai.
I am speechless.
Personally i believe, to Rape someone, one has to be a complete psycho or a sex-maniac ..Normal people can't rape ..but then every 2nd or 3rd guy is a pervert ..I do accept.
To make a change one has to be sensible with the words, coz i have seen people making a mess with the words even when their motive is worth appreciating.
Yes Rape is the worst shit one can do, It only hurts the victim but also haunts the crimnal..
sensible and appreciable post,this is !
offended kyun?? rape is d most heinous crime ever!!! i m of d opinion that rapist shud b castrated in full public view on live television to set an example...
yeah i agree wid peter when he says than men r pervs...but not all pervs r rapists...there has to b a psycho problem wid anyone to commit such a crime
It can start with our generation and follow on... hopefully... I still hope that such a change would come someday... cheers...
u'v just vented out my feelings....i'v no words 2 describe d anguish i feel when incidents like this happen...
Sahi kaha! I've been groped, letched at, whistled at, ab main ulta ghoom ke thappad marti hoon :P
i m speechless at how u expressed...u just expressed the feelings of every woman in delhi and all over. i know what anguish i feel around when i return late home at the stares of men wanting to eat u up.....i m so thankful u wrote what goes in mind of all of us........i know what feeling u get when u travel and u transform from a woman to a object to be letched, groped and what not.....And i loved ur way of expression
Love ya gal
i dont have words for ur words...
main to sirf itna kah sakta hun, rapist man nahi hote... unhe agar janvar kahun to janvaron ke liye v gali hogi... aise logon ke liye mere dimaag mein sirf ek hi saza hai... bich chaurahe sabke saamne khuli maut...
kuchh aur jwalant muddo par aapke words ka intejaar rahega...
each of us have to agree to what u have written. being a girl i have to face so much..esp in buses. ghar ke bahar kadam rakhne se pahale hv to think abt my safety just like every other girl.
wonderful write up harshita.
i am so proud of u sweetie :) cuz u have the guts to raisee ur voice and not like most of the ppl k tamasha dekho and ghar ja ke so jaao..
very very strong post!!
rape is the most inhuman crime even brutal than a murder, it destroys the self confidence of the victim.. log tolerate karte hain mostly ladkiyan kuch nahi kehti chup rehti hain ye soch k log kya kahenge..
but nahi, we shud stand for oursleves at least if not for someone else..
love u :)
P.S. 5th attempt
finally!! yay!! and this is nt even half od what i wrote in the first attempt!!
Good one harshita! I could not agree more on that.
Every single day, before stepping out of my house, I have to think twice about what to wear and waht not to wear...as now a day they say, its the girls who wear provoking clothes.
On a serious note, I dont think any damn costume can provoke a guy to an extent that he attempts a rape ,unless he is mentally sick to do such a thing.
a post tht shook me..indeed all this wsnt new bt the way u told it...shows how deeply irritated u must be..
yes we all have to..at one point of our lives..make a self start for this realization. As journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
we all need to clear our minds...as all the dirt lies in there..
this is one of ur best posts gurl!!u hav written things tht r not so easy to write. And i hope ppl learn from this post. Wonderful jog gurl. I wud hav hugged u for writing this.
gud one .....waise to be more precise i wanna let you know one thing that everyone is not a rapist...for that one must be ruthless and really disturbed minded, sex freak.....there are situations at times like u mentioned as in the bus...i agree there is a "monster" in every human being....
wy anyone would feel offended after reading this ...jise offended lagta ho use doob marna
chahiye....well written :)
u take care...god favours the brave
You too... take care :)
You have echoed my thought babe....I mean seriously a girl has to go through so much in one day...just when she is out for work...I mean she has to be careful...alert and at times a fighter....i agree to you...we shud fight back...
aur sach bolun...agar mujhse koi battamizi karta hai aur mein use pakad ke marti hun...toh mujhe bahot sukoon milta hai....i feel like i am done something good for the day!!
i am just having the feeling of disgust, bcoz the cases of rape are highest in the cities, bcoz its the modernization that is killing the culture,
and when you said its the guys who are only to blame, i was hurt,
lemme tell you an incident, i was traveling in the a bus when sum villagers were looking out of the window, a girl passed by, she was in traditional clothes i.e chudidar, i overheard them saying "see that's a a way a girl has to be, nowadays there is no culture only", sometime passed and they saw couple of girls , she was in low skirts and a t shirt, did you know what they said, they said "Bitches, and they blame us",
the respect for women is there harshita, but the term' modern' is killing it,
i feel disgusted whenever i hear something like this, bcoz i think how they can just even think doing something so heinous of a crime like that, police as you said is just getting worser and worser, now everyone is afraid to get out at night, why bcoz police might be there, they just make misuse of the power they have, why cause there is no proper authority governing them, there should be an authority to moniter these people, and that authority should be directly controlled and managed by the president,
there is no hoping that the situation will get better, we the people have to just stand up and fight back, and fight back hard,
its one of the strongest and most moving post i have ever read harshita, this post is sincere and that's what i liked the most
take care and keep writing.........
I read this post last night and I was left speechless for a change. I didn't know what to comment.
And I still don't know what to comment.
There's nothing called justice in this world. Not just our country...
Being a future lawyer, and claiming to do some good to the country...im saying this...and i don't think i'll ever have peace when i start practising and i actually indulge in corruption.
Kuch nahi ho sakta is desh ka?
I think it's true...
Good post..loved it...
Hi Thousif
I had no plans yet again to reply to the comments today... but urs made me write this.
You are hurt coz I am blaming guys?? I am shocked...
Do you really believe that the length of clothes is proportional to the probability of rape??
Well the people who said that have mean and small mentality... but just to let you know, with due respect, 99% women are dressed in suits, salwars or sarees when they are raped... so short skirts...mini... and stuff encouraging ppl is all bull-shit.
It is all a state of mind... and people who attempt to rape a women or do so... are mentally sick... and they need help...
So next time before you set out to blame gals... please do think abt the statistics.. that are proven...
I dont think a woman loves to invite ppl or attract attention so someday she gets raped...
Actually, the way you got hurt by me blaming guys... am absolutely shocked the way you put that story upfront to make a justification...
i have a knot in my stomach and such topics always leave me shattered!
@ Post: Nicely Written Post.
@ You: You are a hell of a blogger.
@ Blog: Best Blog I ve ever been through.
This post should be made under 'Harshita's Burning Zone' rather Chillin-Out One.
Keep Blogging.
Harshita,
After becoming a Freind of yours on blogosphere, this is my first post read in which i see you very angry, of course why one shouldnt be ?
I know , i agree with you completely.
Irrespective of gender, people are raped by dominated people all over the world.
As its been seen, Women are termed as the weak part of the society, not mentally but physically and there comes the difference you see.
Hawas ki bhookh mein log itne andhe ho jate hai ki woh yeh bhi nahi sonchte ki kya agar koi unki maa, behan ke saath aisa karoge to chup rahenge? Its really disgusting.....
Sometimes i wonder why Sex has become such a cheap, easily gained access to, most important thing for people ?
For them it might be an fun for few minutes, but its a torture, injustice, inhumanity in amny ways to the victims and that to for lifetime, sometimes....
Hum itna sonchte to hai, par iska kuch kare bhi to kya..? jab hume pata hai ki koi bharose layak nahi hai....
Pata nahi...kya kya abhi hona baki hai...
Mahesh
Today, a woman should not look for man to protect her. She should protect herself. she should learn carate, judo and other techniques to thwart any attempt of rape by a male.
All males should hang their head in shame.
*Men are raped too" like Shiney Ahuja's wife is shouting off the rooftops these days...
bas this is wat i hate too..wen ppl say this I juss feel to give thm a tight slap.
this is just an escape argument..talkin of exceptions nd this appears to be true also huh!
well if i wud hav been at Shiney's wife's place i'd reely hav tried to find out the truth nd go wth it.
I won't say nice post well said nd all..coz yeh ek sad reality hei...nd..u've done it well...hope kuch log badal jaaye...hope..
ahhh!!
Harshita it is a wonderful post !!
Thanks a lot for writing it down .....
I think rape is the most heinous act because it directly kill once soul rather than body :(
If government makes a separate court for these cases than probably it may reduce...Rapist have no fear and they are sick :(
harshita when i said i was hurt, i dint mean that i was hurt fot the guys who commit this monsterous of a crime,
i meant i am hurt for the guys who stand up and take a beating for the person who they dont evn know
when i said you that story, i meant you to show, what this people of the country think abt, it was not abt how i feel,
you know when a person stands up for another, whom he doesnt even know, he risks more than his life there, the people may praise him for that moment he showed his bravery, but when the criminal gets back at him, nobody will be there to save him, thats the reason, most of them dont help,
faida he kya hain, when police itself is not doing their job, common man say bol kar kya faida, harshita,
you may get many comments here, but asli time aajaye na, koi nai hoga whaaan par, sab jo yahaan dhasoon dhasoon bol rahen hain na, sab ki nikal jayegi
and let me clear one thing, i nere blamed girls, why in the world i woulld blame them for, koi ladki nahin chahegi ke usko koi buri nazar se dekhe, i dint say that yaar, what made you think in that way
and in one thing i have to give it to you, girls stand up like one, for each another, i am sorry yaar, guys are mean, but still there are some who stand up for another, i said i was hurt because all are not rapists there are many people who are good,
tum kuch logon ke liya sab ko zimadar thaira rahi ho, this is not fair na thats what i said, and if you felt offended in any thing i said now or even on the previous comment i am very sorry, maff kardo je, galti toh insaan se hi hoti hai na.......
sorry again
take care and keep writing........
Koi nahi... Confusion ho gaya sab shayad...
I just wanted to get my point across and I did that...
I mostly agree with you that people dont turn up to help. I have seen that myself... and those who do try to help... get killed or beaten up... but my point is no matter wat, HELP.
Thanks a lot for giving this subject more insight and discussion points...
Ismein Sorry di koi gal hi nahi... hum discuss kar rahey hain.. ladd nahi rahey... :)
@Sneha
Hmm... am also speechless when i watch such news.
@ Peter
Good to hear that coming frm a guy.
I agree sensibility is all that counts... may be sometimes we can do it all with less agression and more understanding and calmness.
You think it does haunt the criminal??
@Mayank
Ahem! that's my kinda punishment...
They call it a moment of madness... may be.
@Arv
Hope is what I have in my heart too.. lets see...
@Anwesa
I knw all of us gals feel the same thing abt it.
@Qi
Sahi... thappad ki goonj yaad rehti hogi unko
@Mysterious Gal
Thanks for all the good things u said abt me... and also for sharing ur side of story too... I think there will be a day when we'll be able to step outside without giving a thought abt being treated like an object.
@Abhishek
mujhey lagta hain ki yeh apney aap mein ek jwalant mudda hain ki maut ki sazaa di jaaye yaa nahi... kyunki kayee baar victim koisliye maar diya jaata hain rape cases mein... ki woh apni kahaani sunaaney ke liye survive hi nahi karein...
@Richa
I am proud of u too...
I agree we shud stand up for ourselves if not others... in these times.
@Akanksha
Yes.. this is a valid point... a lot fo stuff runs thru my mind when going out alone... wat to wear.. how to act...
But for a rapist... a well clothed woman is as good as a naked woman.
@Chitwan
I am very irritated.. u r right... and I think almost all gals are... coz of wats happening arnd us...
I agree some amnt of self-realization will do some gud to some ppl...it always does.
@Ria
Thanks for those words... and hugs... I am sure we will make an impact in atleast some minds with our approach.
@Suyog
I know everyone is not a rapist...but then if we dont stop the monster in us in time... it may ruin it all for us someday...
Yeah! I shud have added... jisey offensive lagta hain... doob maro... :)
@Deepika..
thnx..
@Aditi
Sahi... yeh baat...unhey wahin sabak sikha dena chahiye... maar hamesha yaad rehti hain...
@Mads
thanks Mads.. mujhey lagta hain... hum thodi thodi mehnat karein toh kabhi th kuch hoga iss desh ka...
@AD
:( well I understand..
@Arpit
thanks for ur kind words... hehe@ burning out... well itz so far a chill-out zone... coz wat I feel abt... good, bad... funny... I write here... par burn out bhi achcha rahega.. :D
@Mahesh
Hum thoda bahut kar saktey hain.. jaisye apney aas paas ke logon ko samjha kar.. unka dhyaan rakhkey.. aur jo bhi aisa kar raha ho... usko akal de kar...
I saw a man of my grandfather's age raping a 2 yrs old gal... wen I was 9 and I cud not do much to help her... and this incident taught me to leave the fear for once and stand up for ppl and stop from theri life getting ruined...
@Nanhi Pari
Lets hope hum koi badlaao laaye...
@LifeSmiles
Thanks...
Yes... the fastrack courts will help and special handling of these cases... is needed...
Rapists are mentally sick..
Standing ovation.
Great post.
hmm glad that confusion was over yaar, you know i was in constant remind of this post even in my bro's wedding, aisa kya keh diya maine jisse woh naraz ho gayi, sheesh, i was just blaming myself
hmm nice
hope to see you sometime on my blog, it was one hell of a post harshita
take care and keep writing
@Hobo
I was waiting for your opinion on it. :) Thanks... hope u r doing well now...
@Thousif
Come on.. its okay :) thanks again...
Very strong and difficult topic yet well handled. Got to admit you have said it all. Rape is a disgusting and mindless crime. There should be strict rules and punishment for this. The pain girls have in running away from the dirty glances is more terrifying. I hope this changes and pray
@Tiger
I wish and pray for the same. Thanks for putting ur thoughts across.
}:-|
everyone has already defined the meaning and its implications!
I cannot understand how can I fall so deep that he (99% he) loses his humanity and does this kind of horrific act!
Still, if we cannot stop people from doing this, what we can do is to accept the victim as a part of society which is not done often.. victims are treated very badly.. that shud stop!
(Please make S4Tians understand the meaning of this word!)
Rape is a sad and evil face of humanity
reallly loved this post..... Even i share the same thoughts as u..... Ppl who commit dis horrendous act must be hanged in public..... Those who rape, aren't humans.....
Commendable work harshita! It's the biggest fear of each and every girl on planet earth-rape.
specially living in Delhi is like being put thru anguish everyday. If one has to move out we just can pray that hope things are gu. d with us today coz this is a fact- nobody helps u on the road, only we can save ourselves.
N carrying a pepper spray or any weapon is not a feasible option. I guess learning self-defense techniques will help a lot.
its sick some dont respect woman
nywaz inhuman acts r nvr done by humans
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