Doesn't matter if you are black or white....

I am a lil worried about one of our blogger frenz, it seems her parents took her cellphone away and she is not able to keep in touch with all of us. I saw tweets from her where she is contemplating coming out to her folks about her being gay. I donno how they will take it but I really pray that they accept her as who she is and not try to force her to change herself coz frankly she can't.

This brought about a conversation with Mads. We were discussing how if these prejudices were not there in our society, things would have been better.

We judge people on the basis of their complexion (yawns! I don't need to mention matrimony ads again), if they are fat or slim, if they are gay or straight, if they have a stable job or not, a steady income or not... and the list goes on.

Imagine a world without all these prejudices... I think this concept of imperfections would die out soon.

May be coz I am fat I have this line of thought, but I seriously feel that when you are friends with someone or even if you are in a relationship, then the PERSON matters and not the way they look. We keep judging and comparing people on the basis of ... 'yeh kaala, woh gora... yeh mota hain.. woh bahut patlaa hain, OMG! yeh gay hain...etc.'

We need to break away from all this crap and look beyond. Let us look beyond all this. I have friends who are gay and I don't think they expect me to treat thim differently, we hang out the way we do with straight friends.

Does it really matter that a person who stands by you in your time of need is dark or fair?? *shrugs* When we all know that at the end of it all , what matters is the soul of a person and not the skin, beauty, sexuality, money... then why do we still measure people against these parameters?

I am NO saint. I won't say I AM... that would be lying.... If I don't say it, it goes in my mind and I hate this thought-process. In such moments, I ask myself, what would it be like, if I ever her/him and the faintest hint of prejudice that exists diminishes completely.

We have read it too many times, we tell people the same thing so many times, let us practice it for once. Let people be who they are. Let us not judge them for how they look, what they earn or what sexuality they have coz deep inside there is a person who needs the same loves as we do, has the same potential and at times greater than what we have...

Give people a chance.. Give yourself a chance to be good. Give life a chance yaar :)

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You gotta problem with me?? haha

Life che! Infact, I must say, MERI life che.. toh masala toh hoga hi ;)

My close friend is leaving,to pursue his dreams and I know I will miss him loads but then, like all friends, we will also try to keep in touch. I have a message for him - "You know what?I am not good at saying what I want to say when I should say it...but I wish you luck and success in all that you do and remember that, I will miss you almost roz... :P but that DOES NOT make you my boyfriend" :D :D LOL!! So stop flattering yourself and get a hot gal for a gf as soon as you reach where your dreams and life is waiting for you. I really will miss you yaar" *sigh*

The project I am working on is going down the drain, in front of my eyes. I cannot do much about it. I work 18 hours everyday and everybody hates me at home, amongst friends and even Happy Singh dumped me last week. I am tired of juggling my relationships and work. Somebody needs me...n I am not there.. or if work needs me... I am not there.

Yeah! I need a break but I can't take one. I am the lonely warrior right now. Hate me or Love me... Wait for me or Let me go -- I leave it all to you... :) 

Like I said, I am hibernating now :D This is THAT time when I shut myself up to everyone. Since this is MY space and I can go on and on about how stupid, lame and weird I am... ;) I am doing that...LOL!!

Last week., there came a day when I decided I will marry.. yeah! right.. don't rub your eyes... :D I thought what it would be like -- to be a rich man's wife and file my nails whole day and run in n out of malls and say "Excuse Me, Trial room kahan hain?".. then come back home with shopping bags.. crib about life... gossip and go out again... *Sigh*

I almost committed this mistake of getting married to a man I have no clue about,this week...but I donno...one night I feel I am all finished and then I wake up in the morning and tell myself "Do Hell with it!! This is my life..Let's kick some ass and fix it" :P  Thank God, for I have THIS side to me... ;)

So what if I am weird... ;) There are many people who love me for my quirky and strange side...and I love them too... *winks* I donno what shock or surprise Monday will bring..but I have cut off from everyone for now... I just need some time with me... to fix this stuff up and then may be Monday will bring some good news.. Let's hope so ;)

BTW, I am also working over the weekend... Dah! but I still love my life... :) :) Atleast, I have a job... I am thankful to God today for everything...even if it is the pain.

This week, I also realised who the REAL people are and who all are FAKE. Meri thodi si problem hain..like Richa says "Tera mann jaldi pighal jaata hain"...LOL... *shrugs* I can't fix it. So if you need any help ever, I am there for you...but if you think you are smart... :P haha! You have mistaken me...I stopped trusting people long time back.So while you are busy thinking you are making a fool out of me...I am playing dumb coz I am expected to :D

Baat khatam!! You all have an awesome weekend...while I sulk.. :D :D 

Wish my friend loads of luck... :) Please. Love you all. BTW AD!! I almost am off twitter now, mera bhoot utar gaya hain :D :D

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Are you ahem!... virgin?

This question looms over all relationships and even the prospective marriages. Thankfully, no prospective groom asked me something like this ever, else those who know me, would know uska kya hota ;) But yes, My friends have been asked such questions by their prospective grooms :D

So, everyone has opinions about it. I also have one... which is that I don't have any prerequisites as such. It depends on an individual how they want to look at it. I have no such expectations from my partner that they should not have done 'IT' before with someone. I mean *shrugs* , I take this to be just usual stuff.

And this guy-friend (he is not DOST) I talked to today said that his friend (a gal) once told him that she is keeping her virginity intact as a gift for her husband. Ahem! sorry but that sounds lame to me. If I have not done IT, it is not coz I am keen on gift wrapping myself for someone I am marrying. LOL. It is coz I just don't want to go all the way.

But I see there is so much hue and cry over this even when a Tamil Superstar advocated pre-marital sex. I don't think there is anything wrong with this.

I have met many guy friends (and Dost, it is not about you before you frown at me), who no matter how many times they have done it, expect their would-be to be Mineral-water ki tarah pavitra (ahem!Ganga maiya is a lil polluted aajkal-- am not an atheist).

Such people amaze me with their double standards on something like this. If you have already done IT, how can you expect something else from your partner. *shrugs*

Another thing is that pre-marital sex does not make you a philanderer(here used in unisex context). It is just a choice you make and it is individualistic. Trust and Virginity are different things. We should not mix them ever, else life becomes too heavy to bear with.

What do you guys think about it? What is your take on it?

Note : Dost, again. It is not about what me and you talked. But you gave me a good reason to talk about it here.

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A little something you should know about me...

 

I curse such days...why do we even have them...when everything goes just wrong...but then I tell myself, be it.

This year too I have not been promoted as I see it and I am still slogging like anything. People around me are worried about me and concerned, and I do see that.

Some think that I should stop my career bullshit right here and live like NORMAL gals do. Frankly, I donno what sets apart a normal gal and a gal who thinks she also deserves appreciation n has the right to dream.

I mean like the guys in the house, am I not allowed to think about moving ahead and succeeding in my job but *shrugs* I think like everyone else in the family, some day I will also bury all my dreams for what a NORMAL gal does.

It is not that I love slogging or this life where I am sitting in front of my laptop and doing all sorts of stuff with data,codes and graphics. 

I should have taken the Geek comment from the Canadian co-passenger as a wake-up call, I did not. Working in horrendous hours and almost all timezones, I look nothing short of a zombie. I am sure one of these days, someone from the family will dump me in the Loreal Clinic nearby to do what NORMAL gals do. ;)

*Sigh* Frankly, it has been days that I had that good look at myself in the mirror to bother about the acne or THAT chicken pox mark I had or even crib about my weight.

They call it disrespecting oneself. Sometimes, people around me feel that I am secretly killing myself by working like this. I have no excuse, frankly. *shrugs*

Work has always been my anti-dote for everything going wrong and I always come running back to its arms coz it challenges me so much and gives my mind so much to do that I hardly worry about anything else.24 hours seem short. 

Deep inside, like every NORMAL gal, I do want a spa break or to hang out with friends...Go and see around... but I ran to work to beat loneliness and now I love it.

Someone trying to enter my walls is nothing short of an intruder. I have been pushing a lot of people away from me knowingly and unknowingly.May be as they say, sometimes you are hurt so bad that you turn cold to everyone else around you.

I love listening to people, helping them out and I really do cherish all such friends but when it comes to talking about me....I do talk... but somehow I start moving away from the people I talk my heart out too. I don't know if it my fault or theirs. But it is a pattern. I am sure some of you who are reading this and my offline frenz too,understand it.

It is very hard to hold me back at such moments. Those who manage to understand that it is not that am rude, it is just that vulenrability in my character irks me, STAY!. The others move on by of course blaming it all on me. 

I don't expect those people to understand me. I am sometimes completely with u and at times I disappear all of a sudden. Not coz you scare me...just coz I am like this. My vulnerability irks me, binds me and restricts me... and to escape it, I run away.

I think by far, this is my most open post... I think after a huge battle with myself, I have finally accepted it. And again, this post is not written so you understand me.It is just what came to my mind at this hour.

I hate this side of me. When someone starts getting to close to me or vice-versa, I escape. I am sure my THAT friend is reading this post, I told you once, that I may walk-out anytime but you will have to stop me. I donno how long you can manage to do that or so can others...but THIS side of me, I could not get rid of.

I hate dependency on anyone...I hate being affected by someone or expecting someone to understand me. I am sick of this side of me. Wish I could be more transparent and forthcoming to people. I can be your best friend but why can't I let you be mine?

I have put in a lot of effort to be self-dependent and be happy with myself. I think I am way past the times when I could let anyone take care of me. Now, I cry my own tears and I wipe them on my own. NO! Don't pity me. I am not unhappy as presumed. :)

I am happy with who I am today and no I don't need to shout it to anyone but I do know that some part of me died, it did, gradually. I cannot bring it back. I think it is all a part of growing up. Experiences change you and Mine changed me.

For friends, I am still the same person. So if am not sharing things with you, it does not mean I love you less. It just means that I am like that. For me each friend of mine, matters a lot and am thankful to each one of you.

Note : I am replying to comments in the morning. I am sorry for not doing that in time.

Pic : http://files.myopera.com/Rimikio-Kanka/blog/lonely-devianart-com.jpg

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Marrying the rapist...

 Fine. Blame me for it. But this does not get into my head.

The Chief Justice of India, made a statement today about how a victim should be allowed to marry her rapists if she wants to. Ahem! I wonder who would want to marry a person who damaged their soul beyond repair?

I mean, may be, I am not the right person to comment here, but all I understand is that I still have so much anger for the man who groped me when I took my first bus to college, the man who back-slapped me while I was out for a walk, the man who attempted rape on my co-traveler in front of my eyes, the man who forcefully dragged me to a train and tried to molest me when I was 6 yrs old and the list goes on...

Sorry, I cannot forget these men and I can simply NEVER FORGIVE them. Then, how do I understand marrying the rapist part?

Dear Mr. Balakrishnan, I understand your empathy to the victims but let us not encourage such statements as it will only throw in a perception that you can rape a woman and then force her into marrying you by taking advantage of her emotional as well as social trauma.

But then *shameless shrug* -- We have so many married women in our country who are brutally raped by their husbands and they live with it. *sigh* I know why you made this statement, Sir. I NOW understand what made you assume that a woman who has been battered,torn and tormented by a man, will marry the same guy and stay with him all her life. I really do.

I feel sad for such women and for those of you who assume that the EDUCATED-lot of women do not give into marital rape. They do. 

Damn! we women are so guilt-ridden. We hardly understand that what happens to us is not our fault. 

Like I always say, my request to everyone who reads me is : Encourage the women you know, to stand up for themselves. I always make sure that I discuss this with my friends and my cousins, so they are more responsible towards their life and the other women around them.

WE (the women) are not responsible for the molestation, harassment and acts on insanity done to us. A sick mind is... Some sick minds are. So let us not sulk in guilt. If someone gropes you, give it back to them. If someone tries to cross the line with u, don't feel sick abt urself, give it back to them, right there.

Gals, we are strong, we are confident and we know how to stand up for each other and for us. :) So help and support your friends who have been thru some sort of abuse or are thru one. Help them come out with it and get rid of the guilt. 

Guys, Please understand that even though an act of groping or molestation seems like a simple something to you, it hurts deep inside our soul and makes us feel worthless, ashamed and sorry for ourselves. Help your women realize they are worthy of love and any such thing that happens to them is NOT their fault. Never shrug it off with a statement like- It happens to every gal or this is routine stuff.

NOTE : I prefer not to discuss my posts offline. But if you need help in talking it out, you are most welcome. Thank you. :)

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There is nothing like a PERFECT GUY or MR. RIGHT....

When I was in school, I was more a part of the guys-gang than the gals. May be, coz I grew up amongst guys at home.The short skirts and long nails did not make sense to me (frankly long nails still don't). 

Anyways, I guess I was the most ignorant person in school coz I was helping a guy patao a gal who was no one else but ME *sigh*. Ohkay! you can laugh. But,I had no clue. There was no perfect image of a man I'd fall for in my mind back then, may be I liked Sanjay Dutt back then or may be I thought he should be like Dad... *can't remember*.

As I moved on and went to an engineering college where, let me tell you, you have a very colorful mix of guys. Most of them high on testosterone and waiting to chase anything that wears skirts. *Shrugs* We can talk about that later. But that was when I read my first Romance, my very first Mills n Boons -- Yeah! I was THAT lame... ;)

I learned,there is someone called 'The Perfect Guy" and every gal has to have one in her life.I loved every MB I bought and I still have a huge collection,but I could never put sense in my head about the Perfect guy thing. Friends fell in love or lust or whatever with me and I never cared about it coz I always had different aspirations in life.

As I grew up, met more people, the 'real' people -- I realised that there is nothing like a PERFECT guy anywhere. It is all a fallacy created by people, may be fellow women to make each other jealous and to compete or probably to show off their men as their trophies for being sexy, nice and loving.

If all the gals reading this and all the guys reading this really do some soul-searching, they will realise that the definition each one of them came up for PERFECT is not what they are living with. I mean, in real life, if you are in love with someone, it really does not matter if that person fills up your PERFECT or MR. RIGHT criteria. It is all in your mind.

Someone you love despite his not fulfilling all the 'must-haves' on your list, is your PERFECT guy. I am not saying that you should stop searching for one if you believe in one. But the point is, there is no Mr. Right. There are just guys who let you be and who make you feel loved...and if you really love them, you will never even bother to think if they fit in the Mr. Right bill.

Coming from someone who still survives on Romantic novels and is a sucker for romances, this is a huge surprise, I know. May be, I have grown old or May be, I have not slept enough today but ask yourself, Does it really matter when you meet THE ONE if he/she is your PERFECT GUY or GAL?? You just love someone if you love them and that's about it.

Measuring someone's worth against a set of parameters is a mere insult of a feeling called LOVE. If you really believe in perfect then why not make your relationship perfect, why change someone whom you loved for who he or she really is...

Crap! Where is the Harshita I know? - If anyone throws me such comments, I am gonna pull your hair ;) I deserve to be girly sometimes...and may be this is one of those times.

OMG, did anyone notice, I don't even have a LABEL called LOVE in my blog-labels.. ROFL!! and am talking about LOVE ;) By the way, I think HUGH JACKMAN is just PERFECT :D :D

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