Once a saint, Now a sinner

For those of you who actually missed me on the blog...there are times when you just dont feel like blogging and there are days when you dont get time for the same.I have been reading all your blogs and commenting actively all this while and trust me! I loved reading them a lot.

This week has been a struggle wherein I started with my morning walks again...getting up at 5 was a pain on Day1 and I was shocked when I realised I could not even complete more than 2 rounds of the ground....I used to do around 5,few months back...before typhoid...Typhoid has left me a lot weaker and my stamina keeps shocking me day by day... I improved by Day3 and increased by a round... Yoga and aerobics is as usual fun for me but I cant do the Surya Aaasan part now...It is too energy-consuming. But yeah! Exercise gives me a high and I feel more energetic and positive whole day long.

As always my new life was not for long...caught up with some stomach infection and cannot exercise for almost 3-4 days due to aches and all...but am gonna be back...

The joy of listening to MY kind of music on my Ipod and walking amidst the greens with the cool breeze feeling my face....I love it :) The best time of the day is when I go for my morning walks...I am one person who does not like to walk with company...There was this Auntiji who used to accompany me for my walks (evening) but I could not manage with the constant conversation and chat...as it does not give me the kind of space and peace I look for.

So finally I decide to go for morning walks also, but then someone else joined me for them and it was again more of chat and less of personal peace... and I believe, if you talk while walking then it tires you earlier than usual...

There is nothing like enjoying nature in peace... :)

I hope to get back to exercising soon...Meanwhile my manager did not agree to let me work the way I wanted to so I approached HIS manager and we got to discuss a lot...I truly wish that I am included for this exciting assignment... Problem is...I WANT to work and my manager does not want me to... At times, it sucks!! but then, let me see if his manager sticks to his word and let me work for this challenging stuff...am really luking forward to it...keeping my fingers crossed...

The whole week went by in office work and then I spent the weekend with the 'Clean the scene' drive. I cleared up my wardrobe of all the Summer-wear and replaced it with warm clothes. Arranged all the papers,books and documents. I re-arranged my room furniture and got myself a new table for my television set...Later in the day, I rearranged the furnishing-stuff cupboard and then me and Sunny went to pick mom up from her get-together...

It took us a while to reach the venue and we paid the price when Mom asked us to drive her to the jewellery shop...ah! it was a long wait outside... for me and Sunny... while Mom and her best friend shopped for jewellery and clothes for KARVA-CHAUTH (For those of you who donno what this festival means, on this day a woman fasts the whole day (without food and water) for her husband's long life and only eats once the moon is up at nite).

Saturday came and went by...and Sunday I spent on the bed...the painkillers made me sleep the whole day and I got up to find myself hungry and without food as everyone had gone to my bua's house... :(

Guess wat! I slept again and woke up only when Mom fixed me something to eat... I had plans to rehearse my trainings and get acquainted with the virtual tool...but as always my plans went haywire...

Here I am typing this post...with stomach ache haunting me again...I wonder I get well by tomorrow so I wud rehearse my class...I wanna be the best day after, so atleast I do get to see some positive feedback on my first ever class. Wish me luck people. :)

Overall, the week has been rocking yet lazy... The best part is that Sunny surprised us when he came back home after almost 3 months without informing us.He brought me lots of books...House Music...and hey..hey...I got my new Ipod earphones finally... that too original ones (if you remember Happy Singh chewed on them)... and yeah he has brought a lot of happiness to the house too :)

It has been a beautiful week with lots of wishes flowing by...I want this...I want that...and blah blah in the air...

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Another day after yesterday ;)

It was a long day today...another torturous training by another boring instructor...this time I was an attendee rather than being the boring instructor... I really think I slept half-way somewhere or may be I simply ignored what was being said on the call. The discussions on the other side were too loud at times on my ears...even Happy Singh was not pretty happy with me for putting the session on loudspeaker! Anyhow, I asked bhai to take him outside...atleast, one person shud be spared of the torture of those funny yet boring voice ;) I got a call from my old-friend who works with a Finance-based organization. He called me up to let me know that this is the right time to invest. Well, I have no idea abt investments and money-saving plans...so the information was of no use for me...He said coz the festival of Diwali means brings in positive sentiments...The market will get an instant push...Watever! I told him that he shud talk to my dad regarding this, coz even when I read Economic Times everyday...I am one person who is not into investment planning etc... Dad does that for us. Still, it was such a pleasure to talk to him. Itz always gr8 to catch up with old frenz. Made me smile :) The best part about the day was when I finally got to escape the training late in the evening...Yipeee!! was my ultimate expression ;) I mailed my manager asking for some exciting and challenging work instead of the training sessions...like some assignment on the latest tool we have come up with... But he has nothing concrete for us right now except these trainings...and he has put a condition that if I need the kind of work I want, I shud shift to Hyderabad... He is one person who is against remote working and thus prefers to offer 'good work' to people in his location only. Meanwhile, I am kinda okay with it... Abhi life mein kitni tension leney ka... isliye... jo miley usmein khush :) Coz when I wud actually deserve it, I will get it... Till then am gonna work harder and learn more so maybe someday he himself wud ask me to work on tools and domains am interested in. :) Fundaa is - Life mein positive rehney ka...aur bindaas jeeney ka ;) : One shud be positive and live it up every moment... Kya pata next janam mein main Happy Singh hi bann jaaoon...aur mujhey Harshita nahi mili toh :( - who knws I wud reborn as Happy Singh and then there is no surity that I wud get someone like Harshita ;) Isi ke saath aaj ke samachar khatm huye...kal fir milengey...ek naye suraj ke saath :) : With this I end the news bulletin for today and will meet up tomorrow with a brighter sun smiling thru the clouds :)

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Shaadi se pehle, Weight ke baad

So today was the day I always dreaded would come. My family confronted me for not losing weight and getting married.I wonder how the weight is inversely proportional to marriage??Lesser the weight, earlier the marriage. But yeah! it must be...coz they tell me so and infact everybody tells me so... If any of our relatives visits us from any part of the world, the first few sentences before any "Hello" or "Hi" that come out of their oh-so-divine mouths are : "Hey bachchey!! Do something and lose weight. Why do you want to burden your parents with this liability for so long. If you lose weight you would get married easily. Who wud marry a fat woman in any case?. You should go for a walk daily or else exercise an hour...See XYZ beta, she is working so hard on losing weight...Uski shaadi nahi ho rahi thi naa (She was not getting married naa)...Tumhey samajhna chahiye...sab ladkon ko sundar aur slim n trim kudiya chahiye hoti hain...kaun aisi ladki se shaadi karega..."(all guys want beautiful and slim women, who wud marry a gal like you?, you must understand this) "Auntyji...tussi paani shaani peeyo teh fer vi bol sakdey ho...par nahi ji...sab nu meri fikar payee hain...kuj vi karkey aiss kudi no saddo aithon..." (Aunty ji...have some water and something to eat...u can talk laters too...but no!..everybody is worried abt me...they wud do anything to throw me out of here) I am sick of telling people that I have a hormonal condition that makes me gain weight even if I drink water...Yeah it does :) I can't help it but I am not someone who wud give up on this. I have a history of "Weight-loss disasters" though ;) The first time I tried losing weight(which was not that much), I fell into the Dengue Trap...Took me an year to recover...frequent hospitalizations drained me of all the energy I had...There I was losing my blood for 8 days lying on the hospital bed with no family around...I did not inform them as I meant no trouble for my folks...I wanted to handle my sickness on my own...It was the first time I ever got admitted to a hospital...I was fasting for Maa Durga and could not even drink juice as I kept throwing up...It was the 10th day when the docs told me, if the platelets do not come up, we will go for a transfusion...THAT was the moment I realised...I shud tell my folks...wat if I die :) I did not...I was discharged few days later and I went back home and told mom...Even after that I visted the hospitals more often coz I cud not recover well. Next year while Mom was struggling with a suspected cancer thing and I was with weight-loss, I had severe chickenpox and I swear I have never suffered any pain greater than what I went thru then...there was no AC at home and a powercut for 3 long days was declared in my hometown too in the month of MAY. I love my life... ;) Anyways, we got mom admitted in the hospital and although not fully recovered, I stayed with her...and finally her surgery was done when the docs were sure it was a non-cancerous tumor that she had. It was really taxing for me mentally coz till the last minute I did not know what the doc wud tell me...and it was an 8 hrs long surgery... I tried recovering from it, when after a series of health and professional setbacks one day I suffered from high stress levels and landed up in the hospital again due to lack of oxygen and weakness...I was put on oxygen and that day I knew I wud return to my town soon. This city was not for me. Finally I gave up the lonely battle and packed my bags... Came back home and hunted for a job, got 6 offers and joined one of them...travelled a lot and gained a lot of weight....joined walk sessions and laters Yoga... :) Caught typhoid...then post-typhoid allergies (I am still taking meds ;)) and I am fasting again for Durga Navratri... I have actually lost the stamina I had once...I am working on it though... I am someone who has even dug outside my house in the killing sun and almost done all possible physical strength work that guys do at home...But now, I can't. My stamina needs a big push and am working on it... Bullshit!! Why shud I tell my sob-stories to everyone asking me for my weight n marriage stuff...I have not shared this for sympathy anyways...I dont need any and I shud not get any...There are people who suffer so much in their lives and I have seen nothing... Personally, I am not someone who judges people by their physical appearance (maybe coz I m myself fat)...for me what matters in a marriage is the person and not how he luks...coz when we both wud carry on with our journey of togetherness....my figure or his abs will not serve any purpose...something that wud matter wud be our understanding, attitudes, adaptability, concern, love, patience, maturity and intelligence. A marriage that has beauty and physical appearance as a foundation wud definitely be shaky... In times of adverse situations, a woman's beauty and a man's appearance does not count...what matters is how they can sail thru the problem with their mindset and attitude. Some people go to the extent of telling me that if the product is good and is attractive who wud not want to own it...I love it!! When were women kept in the category of products?? Shocking!! Jo bhi ho (watever happens!!) The worst is something mistakenly slipped out of my mouth in a fit of furstration(after hearing all the BIG lecture) which I know I shud not have said in front of my parents...But I said it... " I am not bothered what everybody thinks coz I dont want to get married right now, I am not ready for it and I don't give a damn abt society that thinks am a burden". Mom's frenz keep asking her about my marriage... and she pours out her irritation on me at times.... If I tell them that I feel not too strong to brisk-walk or even attend Yoga sessions, they get really upset about it coz they think I make excuses everytime. I am a fighter and am gonna fight thru my weakness too. I wud stand up again and walk with my chin straight up someday... Dad told me "if you don't care about the society and people, then you better leave the house and get urself ur own place or either stay in a hostel, iss ghar mein yeh sab nahi chalega". I am not shocked by what he said...He is an average Indian father who thinks he HAS to marry off his daughter to ensure her happiness and fulfillment of his responsibility. I have no problems with him on this and I donno if I wud leave home or not. But I think when it comes to marriage I shud be the one you know who shud say ki yaar ab shaadi kar leni chahiye...yaa I wanna get married now...My family does not buy my fundaas...they think I shud have been born in some extremists' family or sum hi-fi one coz what I think is not possible in their world... No hard feelings for them!! I completely understand what they are going thru and I have promised mom that if itz for their happiness I shall marry anyone they ask me to marry without asking any questions and well the person that I am, I would do the same coz I love them a lot. But then, they should not ask me, "Beta,what do you want?"...No they shud not...Coz I don't want what they want right now. I have my dreams and I have just one life to live it all and make it all come true... I want to ensure my kid brother's secure life and my parents' happiness before I move on to a new phase in my life. I want to be honest to my marriage and I know it needs lots of positive energy,time and emotional nourishment to come out as a beautiful and successful marriage...I think I cannot be honest to it right now. Coz when I am with someone I wud just want to be completely with that person where we both are happy in our own world and where I wud give my 100% committment and dedication. But hamesha woh nahi hota jo hum chaahtey hain :) Apni family ke liye apun kuch bhi karega :) - But, watever we want does not happen always...and for my family I wud do anything... simply anything... :) I love them for who they are to me and for loving me so much. :)

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TAG - My Desktop Story :)

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PHunny!!

This post is dedicated to my Co-Instructor for the training,Mr. D. This guy simple hates me as he is not too comfortable to be led by a woman at workplace (we worked together few months back on a project I was leading) and also, coz he simply cant take it that being a senior he is asked to work with someone like me whoz just 4 yrs old in IT. :) As expected, he did not share any details related to the training with me. I was not the lead instructor in this training thankfully, as another guy G stepped in and also coz I am new to the virtual training too. So, all I had to do was respond to queries in text chat and guide thru labs. So before I talk about what I wanted to talk about just a prelude : When you use a virtual tool for training like Centra, there is an option where students can click on YES,NO and RAISE UR HAND(RUH) icon to respond. Some interesting one-liners from the training which kept me entertained and SHOCKED : 1. When a female click on RUH, D says : " I see your hand and now I bhill gib a mic to it" 2. When he finishes answering back. " Now I bhill REMOVE your handj and you can raiJe them again" 3. When a guy asks him about contacting him in chat: "You can hab me bhen you want" 4. When a he does know the answer : "Aaaaaa...mmmmm....nnnnnnnnnnnnn......This IZ out aaf shcope" 5. When he gets a call in the middle of the training : " uhuh...ohhhhhh....saaary! I bhill be bhack" 6. When he does not want to continue training : " Harshita r u thr? R u thr? Seemj we DRAAAPED her" 7. When he explains with full concentration :" Matlab..I mean...Ezzzzzatly....it iz....I bhill get bhack to you" 8. When he wants to take a break : "I bhill break now" Some of them, I forgot... No matter if people were dozing off during the sessions, I enjoyed it coz of him.... ;) At one point, he simply went away saying, "I hab a meeting" and the class was left wondering if they have to do salsa or wat... lol So this is how I have spent this week so far.... Lots of reading and teaching stuff... :) Thanks for your messages... I know how to force people to say good things abt me...ha ha

Oh! I forgot to add... I know I have been tagged twice and I need to cater to it as per the rules... Will do it soon...Thanks Niddzziii and Buzzzzzz!!

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Once a saint, Now a sinner

Happy Birthday Aevi,Abhinav,Abhi!!

A Little Bit of Walk,Talk,Wishes and Some Lazying Around

Another day after yesterday ;)

Shaadi se pehle, Weight ke baad

Movie Tag

TAG - My Desktop Story :)

PHunny!!

Saints and Sinners

Blast from the past

Emotions and Notions

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Silent and Not-so-silent readers

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