I had a lot of notions about marriage before I got married, but I have eventually realized that it is indeed an important part of our lives. Like those earlier transitions - school, college, job.. marriage is yet another transition.
It is huge for sure. I mean it is Part 2 of your life. There is a life you have before marriage and then there is one that you have after you find your partner. It is like doing life from scratch.
Marriage is more than living with a room-mate (I have seen some cosmo-types sites suggesting that married people should stay like paying guests, Bullshit!). Like living with your parents, teaches you whole lot of patience. Part 2 of your life, teaches you another kilogram of patience.
You adapt to new people, new environment.. and so they do. But all in all, in our country the generic expectation is that the woman should adapt, but things are changing a bit with the men coming forward and making an effort.
One thing I have realized is no matter what you do.. Manz and Womanz log, you MUST know basic household work, for the sake of your partners. Because when you live together, only one person cannot carry the burden of household work. It is ofcourse YOUR house and both of you would want to keep it tidy and a good place to live in, but yeah! you would need some skills.
Living out of the suitcase, most of my life, it came across as a big challenge for me. But with the patience and support of my partner, I learnt how to manage home and work at the same time.
Guys, you MUST learn to cook, clean, wash etc.. like women do.. because with your gal working and travelling like you do, it won't make sense eating out everyday or living in a hellhole. Unless you want bigger bellies etc.
Another thing we gals need to learn is to SHUT UP sometimes. So you had a bad day, someone bitched about you, the maid did not turn up, there is too much politics at work, or you know that your partner is not right in conventional terms or there is something they said and did which is hurtful or there is something bothering you...Sometimes it is better to shut-up and wait, than blabber/react and make things worse.
All I know of men, they are very conclusion-oriented beings. What means a 'conversation' to a woman, is a 'fight' to a man.. :P Since we women have a tendency to just keep blabbering about our day and major-minor issues, Men immediately jump in for our protection and start offering solutions, which we don't want. We can find our own solutions. All we want is someone we know cares enough to listen to us, don't we? and I think Men cannot get it.. since they are programmed to be the problem-fixers. This is what they have lived upto.
Anyways, all in all, Marriage is pure fun.. because there is so much to learn and explore every single day.. about YOU, about THEM and about the relationship itself..
So like every relationship, you will have some good days, some bad days.. What matters is what you make of it.. I still don't understand why people crib about marriage.. You either do it or get out..
There is absolutely NO key to a successful marriage.. you just gotta be there, stop taking it too seriously and live it up :) :)
Will add more, as I know more..
Tab tak.. mast raho! dilchasp raho
