50 THINGS THAT MADE 2008 THE WAY IT WAS

is my message for the year gone by. I have been reading many posts about the year gone by and how people have bravely accepted their faults and achievements. Before I start with my post, I want to thank all of you guys for sharing your 2008 experience on the blog. I have learnt a thing or two from your posts too. :) Okay, so looking back to the past one year is the IN thing on the bloggersville and keeping up with the trend, I have few things I would want to share too. Ahem...Okay! I have shared my whole year with all of you post by post but there are things I would want to just highlight so one day when I look back at this post, I will have enuff reasons to tell myself about things I may forget in the coming year, things that made a difference to my life in one or the other way. It was a mixed year for me as always... That's so cliche... Life is all abt that...Isn't it?? Anyways, let me start with the good and bad stuff that happened to me... coz its always gud to end on a beautiful note. :) The 50 things that made 2008 what it was: 1. My travel to Hong Kong : The Nasal and Oral Truths guy I found there is my most disastrous discovery ;). Then again, my AIR-INDIA ka safar was so pathetic, the flight got delayed for 10 hrs. I starved for the whole day until I reached India coz there was nothing veggie at HK airport. This experience, am gonna remember forever. I met a sex-starved Saudi Arabian molestor on my way to the airport. The flight delay was responsible for my meeting with three wonderful men : Mr. Singh (An ex-Army officer) who has a wonderful family and we are still in touch ON and OFF, a Spicejet pilot and a Merchant Navy officer. They made me feel comfortable with their caring attitude and chivalry. I will always be thankful to them. 2. Rustam, My German Shepherd came into our lives. Happy Singh and Rustam became a team and I love them. 3. Bomb blasts in the month of May in Jaipur. 4. India Premier League kept us all glued to the televisions. I would stay awake to see Punjab XI win and Kolkatta Knight Riders lose.I would cheer for Preity and her team. It was pure fun. Kings XI Punjab lost it in the semi-finals for India Premier League. 5. Happy Singh chewed on my iPod earphones in the month of July. Sunny gifted me a pair of new earphones two months after that. :) 6. I understood that it is normal to be imperfect. 7. I attended a stupid Time Management Training where the trainer arrived late. :) 8. I had some great discussions with Mom on marriage, dowry and weight. Some of them were bitter and some of them were sweet. 9. In the month of July, I was diagnosed with TYPHOID and it kept me bed-ridden for long. 10. I met a victim of domestic violence. 11. There was another blast in the month of July in Ahmedabad. 12. I realized in the month of August that I missed on true love when it came knocking on my doors. :) 13. I became a big-big Sufi fan, although I was an okay fan earlier. 14. Mom and Maamu met each other and they realized how much they love each other. The brother-sister duo is an example for me and I am sure I will always love my 3 kid bros, the way Mom loves Maamu. 15. I read many good books and Sunny gifted me most of them. 16. I forgave something from my past in the month of August and realized that forgiving makes you feel lighter. 17. I was selected by Society of Women Engineers (World) to deliver a lecture and workshop in US. 18. I found some people I really don't want to be a part of my life reading my blog and sooner, I realized it is immature to think so and I have no issues even if they read me or not. 19. One of my very good frenz thought a fiction story by me was about her and she cut all ties with me after that. I tried my best explaining that it is based on so many people I know and is a general point of view and situation and not about her but still, she did not accept my apology. Although, I still feel I did not write it about her. I hope we are back together in the coming year coz she is special for me and will always be. 20. Another blast, now in Delhi, in the month of September and I was shell-shocked. 21. I had fun going thru the matrimony proposals, some of them were so hilarious...hehe. 22. I accepted my dream to adopt a gal-child and be a single-mother with its pros and cons. 23. I delivered my first virtual training with a really funny guy as my co-instructor in September and followed with many such trainings and appreciation mails for the same all through the year. 24. I started my walking-regime once I recovered from Typhoid in the month of October. 25. I joined Yoga classes but left after few months coz the instructor asked me to do an exercise where I had to drink 2 litres hot water and puke it....haha 26. I started loving blogging and people kept reading me, no matter if I was worth-reading or not. :) I should be thankful for that...haha 27. I met Zirelda,Sneha,Raka,Skeeter,Nanhi Pari,Niddzzi,Pagli Mads,Bindaas Peter,Anwesa and many more people who I could gel with and all of them are special to me. 28. I contributed to a new blog with the blogger-buddies gang. It was closed later due to some reasons. 29. I discovered that I have a love for art and I can be a good interior decorator, atleast for my house. 30. Diwali was memorable this year too. 31. I penned two love-stories and people did not kill themselves after reading them so I believe they were tolerable enuff. :) 32. I got to know about Emotional Adultery and it was a great thing I discussed it with you guys on the blog. 33. I realized that despite all my imperfections, I am worthy of love. 34. I met Raka over the blog and chat. She became my really special friend and I feel proud to know her. 35. I sent flowers to my close friend and he kinda did not even thank me for that, so I was a lil pissed. Later, I chose to forget abt it. 36. I saw some really good movies in Hindi and English both and some of them, influenced me. 37. Raka surprised me with a Birthday post and so did Niddzzi,Mads and Peter, they came up with such a beautiful poem and I have saved all these posts so I can look at them anytime I miss the fun in my life. :) 38. My US travel for the conference got cancelled and I learnt how to take the biggest let-downs in your stride. 39. I was awarded many a times by my blogger frenz on the blog and I am such a lazy person, I did even bother to award them ever.Huh! 40. I had a really really great bday this year. Thanks to all my frenz and family. I realized that nothing n no-one can replace ur family. 41. I found 2 really good frenz this year. I am thankful to god for that. 42. I was slapped on my bottom by a man on the road but I did not give up on my courage to get back on the road the very next day for my walk. Thanks to the way everyone encouraged me on the blog. 43. I became more health-conscious and lost some weight too. I learnt to understand my body and work-out accordingly. 44. The biggest incident was the MUMBAI 26/11. It affected me really bad and I am never going to forget it for sure. 45. I talked and talked at length on my blog and it pissed off some people really bad....lol 46. I discovered a new term - Blogger Hypocrisy and came across live examples. 47. I met few people who had a negative attitude yet did not let it affect me. 48. I also came across a sicko and did all that I could do to teach him a lesson. 49. I realized that my biggest weakness is to REACT and I made a resolution that I will try and be in control. 50. Me and Raka came up with an idea of an all-females blog and well, it is going to be opened for all on the first day of 2009. We are going to have some really wonderful gals writing over there and I am anyways a big fan of all the blog-authors there. Pics : http://www.bankersonline.com/postcard/pictures/goodbye1.jpg

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A Resolution For Life

There are times I wonder if itz me or the people around me. I have this trigger and you pull it and I am a bad bad person or as Anurag mentioned once,"I am a reactive person". I tend to react to things in a certain way, I am not the one to shut my mouth when I think something wrong is being said or done. But then,we all have our wrongs and rights. What I think is a RIGHT, may be a WRONG to someone else. To understand this in practical sense at THAT particular moment, is a tough task...atleast for me, it is. There is this one thing I would want to change about myself, but I hardly can. I want not to react, not to take someonez side in a conversation, not to present my point of view until asked for, not to justify and to judge the right and wrong for someone else. I know I have a difficult task at hand here but for my peace of mind, I need to work on it. I practised something for few days that helped me to an extent : Wait for 10 minutes before you react, anything happy,sad or angry, but wait before you react. It sobers you down and you do the RIGHT thing. I noticed one disadvantage but. Although I followed restraint, deep down I would get pissed and irritated with the situation and it will affect me in a more nasty manner. I would feel all bottled up. I think the perfect solution for such a situation wud be if I could not react in a certain immediate manner and also keep the negatives away from me. You may term it is a NEW YEAR RESOLUTION or what, but I need to stop being reactive coz I see it is more destructive than constructive. I am a happy person otherwise but THIS part of my attitude wastes my positive energy and I don't want to lose on the precious time and energy of my life. I am not looking for advice here. I know I mention it all the time.But then, if there is a practical way to deal with it, I would like to know it. Else, the statements like 'Take it easy' and 'All will be well' are a part of my life too, don't give anymore of them to me. :) When I used to bottle it up, it affected my health and now when I react, it does affect me. Are we all the same when it comes to reacting to something we think is wrong? Do we all stand up for our rights? Is it at the end of the day RIGHT to stand up for it, when all you get at the end of the day is stress? I love to live my life with smiles,happiness and loads of fun like everyone else does. So, I am gonna work towards just THIS aspect of my attitude this coming year so I am a better person than who I am today. I cannot change what's around me, so I will try changing what's inside me. This Punjabi streak in me, makes me more prone to losing my temper but I will fix it for sure. Not that I will stop taking a stand but then, I should make it subtle rather than aggressive. This is my Resolution for myself and for the people who love me. :) Here is my favourite quote from How I met your mother : You think you have only two choices when you are angry : Give it back to the person OR Swallow your anger... but therez a third choice.. LET IT GO...and when you do that ..then its really gone and you move on!!!

Pics : http://feon-rabbit.blogspot.com/2007/08/e-bodoh.html

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Ek aur TAG aaya hain ;)

After a long time, I have been tagged by someone and that someone is Born Vagabond. He is a bindaas punjabi guy. Thanks a lot. Coz I had pure fun while answering these questions. I had wicked answers but I avoided some of them especially when kids like Nanhi Pari reads my blog. ;) Priya don't you kill me for that..Okay! hahaha RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people. 1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be? I'll chop off his balls,gift wrap them and send it to his new liason he cheated me with. 2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be? I want to sing in a rock-concert coz till date I have only sung ballads. (Ahem! No, its not the Rock-on effect) 3. Whose butt would you like to kick? Mmmm... has to be a guy who claimed to be my best-friend. 4. What would you do with a billion dollars? Well, gift my folks a beautiful penthouse in the greens of either Punjab or Southern India, gift my brothers their favourite cars, buy a beautiful diamond jewellery piece for mom,donate them for girl child fund and may be buy myself a holiday in Europe and if there is still some left, hand it over to mom. ;) 5. Will you fall in love with your best friend? Uhuh! my best friend is a gal and I am straight ;) 6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone? Being loved my someone is the most beautiful blessing. 7. How long would you wait for someone you love? Well, I can wait till the time he comes running to me ;) 8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do? I will still like that person, my liking is not about posessing someone. 9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be? AIDS Awareness. I did contribute for this cause. 10. What takes you down the fastest? Fake Attitude (Fattu people trying to act smart) 11. I change this question : How do you define blogger-hypocrisy ? You appreciate a post on a blog and then you go back to ur blog and post, "Ah! sick posts get more comments and mine never does"... lol 12. What's your fear? Losing my loved ones. 13. What kind of person(s) do you think the person who tagged you is/are? Bilkul bindaas bandaa hain yeh! 14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor? If I love the person I marry then it does not matter if I am rich or poor but yeah! Mom, are you listening? If I am going for an arranged marriage, the guy has to earn well. hahaha 15. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Turn to the right, hug him and tell him "Good Maaaarning Happy Singh" 16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would you pick? I donno how do you do that... I mean fall in love with two people at a time.How do you do that? 17. Would you give all in a relationship? Yeah everything except my sense of being ME. 18. What's eating you now? Ah! My job. ;) I don't love anything about IT except the money...but then even that is falling short of expectations now. 19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship? Being Single is wonderful. I don't mind if someone sweeps me off my feet though. 20. Tag 6 people... (coz itz a girly tag, I have my list ready) My favourite Raka Beautiful Zirelda Nanhi Pari Priya Angel Sneha Mad Mad Mads New-found friend Yamini. Ab mainey itna makhkhan lagaaya tum sabko... tag kar dena samjhey...lol

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Kya Khaaya, Kya Paaya : Meal Disasters

I always believed : To cook a disastrous meal, one has to work too hard. I proved it yesterday. ;) I am otherwise a good cook and people swear by the food I cook and my recipes, but last nite I crossed all limits of cooking a disaster...lol I cooked Hard wheat -Pasta with a sauce made of onions,tomatoes,coriander and garlic. Damn! it was terrible. My bad-luck, I was so hungry after the walk that I had to eat something and I avoid carbs after 8:30 at nite so I had to finish this experiment up in good time. Rabba! I am never going to try this thing out ever...hahaha... I had tears in my eyes, it was so terrible. Last time a dish drove me to tears was when I was in California, I bought Thai Noodles from an Asian Market and it had a special sauce it had to be cooked with, some sesame and peanuts sauce. Oh! shit... It was the most terrible thing I have ever tasted, my suite smelt of the sauce even when I threw it all in the closed dustbin in the kitchen. It was so bitter and it smelt so bad that I rushed for my nasal spray so I could catch up on some breath. lol... it was funny. I slept empty-stomach with the smell of the sauce lingering for long. Yucks!! This reminds me of one more incident, I never knew I was allergic to asparagus, I mean the sight of it or the taste of it. My office in CA served only one thing that was veg in lunch, a mushroom-asparagus sandwich. I wished I never ordered it after indulging in one. It was so bad that I never dared to eat lunch in office ever. If this was not enough, one day while I was using the office microwave to heat-up my lunch, it came out of it with a smell of fish and crabs. Donno wat. I turned to my right-side and a Chinese guy smiled at me. I am sure he saw me making those faces, he said in a very fast lingo,"Oh! it was my friend's beef sandwich". "Okay! enuff is enuff", I thought. We in India, pray cows and beef is a big NO for us. I have nothing against people who love it but being a veggie it was difficult for me to cope up with that smell and it was entirely my fault that I ignored the fact that I am not the only one using that microwave. I did not eat that day and survived on my favourite Latte. So, I have had my share of food disasters and now, when I think about them... I do nothing but laugh...haha... I am sure you are thinking about yours too, right now. ;) Pics : http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/pju/lowres/pjun216l.jpg

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I AM BACK : Lo Ji Hum Aa Gaye :)

So, the party is over and I am going to get back to work on Monday. Yeah! Yeah! I know that most people will holiday while I work but then, I have had my share of time off work. I planned a lot for these two weeks. Wow! I did. Nothing went as planned (Great! I love my life). I fell sick for the first few days...thanks to SOMEthing in my food...and the usual visits to the beautiful white and serene bathroom of my house increased. Damn! Stomach infection is the worst of all. I went for my walks soon after so-called recovery but I could not feel my feet on the ground...Okay! they call it dizziness and I almost collapsed but reached home safely. Another few days and I was back in form. I resumed my evening walk. Actually, I love walking now... more than I ever did. It is really cold these days so I am restricted to the terrace only. It is fun to watch Happy and Rustam fight it out for a piece of wood or playing together. They keep me company while I walk. The story-writing was never a part of my plan but it happened...donno how. Stories are taxing expecially when you are as naive a writer as me. I love reading them but writing one is such a big mistake... Thankfully, the story did not kill many in the blogger's world...lol I listened to whole lot of music... cleaned my room... dreamt a lot.. fought a lot.. cried a bit... laughed a lot and yeah ! I partied too. I was invited for a dinner at my cousin's place, he told me it would be JUST a dinner but then, men will be men. It turned out to be a terrace party. I had already oiled my hair, so I tied them into a plait. I was informed it was a family dinner so I wore a Punjabi Salwar Kameez. I usually am not a make-up person ( I know all women say that)...haha... so I wore my nude gloss and some kohl in my eyes. It was too cold but then I wore a front open cardigan which did not do much to save me from cold. As I reached the venue, I was shocked... Crap! It was a terrace party... There was a DJ, some real good food, drinks and lot of well-dressed people. I felt so bad for myself... I mean I was looking nothing short of an Indian Fancy Dress participant there with everyone dressed in sexy casuals and party-wears.I almost screamed at my cousin for doing that to me but he had a great laugh abt it... Anyways, it was too cold but then it was fun too... I got busy with my Buaji arranging stuff and serving the guests and later, we joked about ME a lot...haha... ;) It was fun. Although, I was on vacation but that did not stop me from attending the important meetings scheduled for the team coz I was constantly getting invites from the same. Now, THIS is the reason I wanted to go on a holiday somewhere coz when at home, it is difficult for me to keep away from checking my office mails no matter how hard I want to avoid it. It has been a mixed kinda experience for me for these two weeks. I did not study at all, though I planned a lot. I did not even settle scores with AMEX. Frankly, I am not the one to go with the plans... things always go the other way...so as they say,"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making plans", something like that happened to me too. No regrets! But getting back to work on Monday will be ahem! a bit difficult for me... Hope you guys had all the fun all this while...Ciao! P.S. Niddzzi told me, she missed ME on the blog. So I dedicate this post to Niddzzi. :) TUSSI SINGO JINGLE BELL AUR MAIN CHALLI AA MONDAY NU HELL :D

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Shadows of Yesterday - The Concluding Part

The point was did he want to answer? She thought "Life is weird enough to bring old wounds open again", but she would not budge to the situation, she told herself. A week went by and she did not hear from Arjun all this while. Somewhere deep inside she wanted him to come by so she could ask him all the questions that made her go crazy. Till then, she'll have to wait. It was on a Friday evening,during a business dinner that Arjun met the guy he envied the most. "Hey! How you doing?", he greeted Yug with a smile. "Oh!Ahem....Am good. Please forgive me I am bad with remembering people. Have we met before?", Yug was trying to recall when did he meet the guy shaking hands with him. "Ha Ha. Well, I do remember you, Yug. I am Arjun, Sia's best friend. We met in a restaurant some 4 yrs back. Did I make it any easier for you now?", he winked with a manly laughter. "Yeah! man. I am so sorry. I am just too bad at it.", Yug tried to hide his embarassment with a smile. "How come you are here in the city? Sia told me you are out of town for a long time.", Arjun asked. "Did she? Well, seems you got it all wrong. I haven't met Sia for let's say 4 yrs now. We are hardly in touch. There seems to be a confusion here, I think", he scratched his brows with his thumb in a deep-thinker's way. "But...But...You got married, right?", Arjun could not believe it. "Nopes. We did not marry. Sia declined my proposal the very next day, on a lunch date. Frankly, I think she did the right thing, she deserves to be happy and I am not the one she would be happy with.", he spoke with a serious tone in his voice. "Ah!...well...have a great time tonite. I got some business so I'll take your leave now.Nice to meet you after such a long time", Arjun wanted to run to get his answers from her. "Sure, man.Say my hello to Sia when you see her", Yug shook hands with him. She slept over a business magazine and a thundering knock at her door woke her up. "Damn. These guys have not fixed the doorbell yet", she mumbled as she got up from the couch. Rubbing her eyes, she answered the door and her heart started pounding."This is a bad dream. Okay. Enough", she rubbed her eyes hard now. "This is no bad dream, honey. This is ME.Can I come in?", Arjun said with a grin that made her so uncomfortable. She looked so beautiful, just out of the sleep. Her hair ruffled, her eyes half-open in a way that could make any man go weak, her lips still lingered with the balm she would have used before falling asleep. She was bare-feet and no wonder, she had beautiful feet,uhuh! legs! WTF am I thinking about? Arjun brought himself back to reality. "So, what brings you here?", she asked irritatingly "Thought, would meet Yug.Long time, you see" "I told you, he is not in town" "Is it? He asked me to say hello to you. I met him tonite at the business dinner.Why did you lie to me?", he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer. "I..I...umm...How does it make a difference to you? Leave me alone", she held back tears again. "It DOES make a difference to me. I thought you married him. Why the hell did you have to lie?" "Please leave. I am not answerable to you" "So, you are. Do you have any idea what these 4 years have been for me, you crazy?" "For you?? Huh! I don't want to talk about anything to you anymore. Why did you come back in my life again?" "I did not come back to your life. I myself did not know that AJ is marrying your best friend. I had no idea, I would bump into you that night. It was not easy for me too, Sia. Trust me. I searched for you everywhere after you left the city. You left no contacts, no details. Nothing. Where would have I searched for you? And now one day I see you right there in front of me and I did not know what to say. Why did you leave me, Sia?" "Me?. I left you. I never thought I'd be saying this but now when we are talking about this. I never left you anywhere, you left me in the middle of all that was going on. What do you expect from me? Watch you getting closer to someone else, every day of my life. I could not do that. I simply could not." "What are you talking about?" "For god's sake. What do you want?" "I want my answers. Why did you lie to me?" "Coz I loved you", she pushed him aside and tears fell down her face. "Yes. I loved you and I could not see you getting married to Neha, so I left" "WTF", he swore to himself."It's all my fault. I..I... should have not done that to you. I am sorry, Sia. I never married Neha. I never loved her. Its just that, seeing you getting so close to someone else in front of me, made me furious, jealous...watever you may call it and I did it in a fit of anger" "This does not matter now.You never loved me anyways. I am fine with it." "I did. I do. I do love you, Sia more than anyone in this world. Just that...", he moved away from her now and faced the window while he spoke. "I always knew how much you loved babies, I mean you always told me that you wanted to be a mother and deep inside, I knew I would not be able to ever be a part of your happiness. I had an accident some 8 years back and due to the injuries inflicted I was told that I could never father any babies and one of my kidneys also got affected apart from the scars I have on my back. I did not want to ruin it for you, Sia. I know how much you loved waving at kids, playing with them and being a mom. How could I even think about ruining it all for you, just because of my injury? You mean a lot to me, Sia. I did not have the courage to say it all to you. I tried many a times but I could not. I could see US falling in love and the only resort I had was to move away from you and I knew it would mean breaking your heart. I did break your heart and I know no words can ever make up for that but Sia, I just want you to know that I have only loved you and I will always love you." "Why did you do this to me?", Sia grabbed the front of his shirt and cried. "I love you for who you are and I will always love you for that. Do you think I would have left when you told me about it?. Why did you let us suffer? Why did not you tell me 4 yrs back? You mean more than anyone in this world, more than even my dream of being a mom. We could have done any sane thing like adoption and all. Why did not you just let me know? How did you manage to suffer all this while, you moron?" "Sia...Sia...Please listen to me. I never wanted you to give up your dream coz of me. I still don't want you to ever give up any of your dreams coz of me. I want you to see more dreams and we will realize them together. Trust me. I will always be there for you", he kissed her forehead and hugged her. "No dreams mean more than you, Arjun. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Enough of staying away from each other." "I love you too, Sia and your love is the reason I got strength and will-power to undergo the surgery." "Surgery?" "Yes. You remember my friend Jose?? He is the one who is responsible for my treatment. I am still undergoing one and he is sure almost all injuries can be reversed now except that I may not be a dad ever" "We will pay our thanks to him, once we are in the city" "Yeah! sure. You can pay him your thanks once he is in the city for our marriage. Let's get married.", he picked her up in his hands and kissed her with passion yet softly. "Mmmm....Let's get married", Sia whispered in his ears.

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Shadows of Yesterday -III

She stood there frozen and for how long, she could not recall.

It was her phone's mushy ringtone that woke her up from that misty sleep.

"Are you okay?", Anu was almost shouting from the other end.

"Yeah! Yeah! Good Morning", Sia yawned.

"Morning!! Are you nuts? Its noon, sweetie and you got me worried, where were you? You did not answer my calls either." Sia could easily identify with the tension in Anu's voice.

"Uhuh! Am...mmm sorry... I don't know how I slept so late", Sia was confused enough to say anything more.

She stayed up till wee hours in the morning thinking about all those times, thinking about the man she knew she would spent the rest of her life with and she was left stranded in the middle of everything by the same man 4 yrs back. She thought she had healed but she had not healed in any sense at all. Her heart craved for him, the same way it did when they met in the candle-lit ambience of her favourite restaurant. He told her she had the best eyes in the world coz they were mysterious enough for him to look thru them all the time. No, he never told her that he loved her. She never did.

It was not needed in their relationship. They had seen each other through the worst of turmoils and it was understandable. They were best of pals and were a couple to anyone who saw them together. She committed to him in her heart and never let him know. She knew they were meant to be together always as best pals and as two people who would love each other despite imperfections. It was a perfect life until one day he asked her to meet to tell her something she did not how to react to.

"Hey! I thought I should tell you. I am going around with someone", he told her casually, or may be he tried to be casual about it.

"Ahem! Wow! I am happy for you", Sia was so damn fake.

"Yeah! so wassup at your end? Found someone?", Arjun sipped on his whisky as he talked.

"Nopes. I dont need anyone. I gotta rush back home early today, have some work, talk to you later", Sia almost stumbled when she got up to leave.

"Oh! ok. Carry on, gal", Arjun was so plain normal and this irritated her more.

Sooner, he got busier and she got harder to reach. She never made an attempt to talk to him until he called. He did know this will happen and he was ready for it. She buried herself in work and life. She was inaccessible for everyone, everyone including him.

Arjun was suffering too... deep inside... He knew he loved her more than anything in the world but no, he was not good enough for the woman of her dreams. She did not deserve someone like him. He was a dark man, he had a past and he never wanted that to haunt her. He wanted her to be happy. The growing closeness was killing him and he wanted to stop it, right there. He tried to stop himself many a times. One look in her eyes and all his efforts for a restraint on his emotions went haywire. He did.

He started seeing someone, someone he never loved. He loved only HER, he loved Sia but he knew the only way to avoid those mysterious black eyes, that perfect you-made-my-day smile, that sparkle, that LIFE was to move on with someone else.

Neha was someone he has nothing common with. He had no smiles to share and nothing interesting at all, yet SHE loved him and she was not looking for commitment(is what she told him) and this was a big relief for him.

Arjun never had the courage to face Sia after that. He stopped calling her and he knew she would never call. Life was monotonous and tasteless until one day they met. It was HER favourite restaurant, he would have never gone there if not for Neha who insisted on celebrating her promotion there and what he saw there made him regret his decision.

Sia was seated at HER favourite corner with some guy who made her smile, the way she did. She was smiling...no! she was laughing incontrollably now for some reason and her head moved in a seductive manner and her hair touched the guy's face when she tilted her head while she laughed.

"Oh! she's so beautiful", he thought. Arjun wanted to feel her, touch her, make her smile,look into that deep-deep dark of her eyes.

Somehow her being with that guy irked him so much that he was not himself with Neha and finally he did something he never planned to do.

"Hey! Sia. Long time...hmmm... how you doing?", Arjun smiled at her holding hands with Neha. Sia could not smile anymore and she did not.

"Hi! Yug, this is Arjun. Arjun this Yug", Sia introduced them.

"Give me the pleasure to introduce love of my life, Neha.", Arjun kept his hand on Neha's shoulder and brought her closer to him.

" Hey! Join us. Please". Yug had a great masculine voice and one could hear him talking all-day long. He was among those few men who carry a raw-appeal.

"For sure.", Neha replied before Arjun could say something. Neha was delighted to have met his frenz and she could not let go of this opportunity to make him smile, she thought.

Yug's proximity to Sia was irritating Arjun a lot. He touched those hair, he made those lips smile, he made those eyes twinkle. Not that he did not want those eyes to light up or that smile to touch the bend of her mouth but he would have loved to be the reason behind all this.

"Am I drunk?", he thought to himself. He for sure was. He could not take it anymore and blabbered something, he wished he never ever did.

" Me and Neha are getting married next week.", he sipped from his glass.

Neha gave him a look of surprise. She could not believe it. "Was this his plan? To propose me in front of his friends.", she was too rejoiced to think beyond this.

"Congratulations!", Yug shook hands with Arjun again.

" Oh! Yes... Congratulations both of you. You make a good pair." , Sia said holding back the tears only she knew how.

Sia wanted to run away from this too. She wished it was a bad dream and she will get over it once she wud get up. This bad dream did not end.

"This is such a great day." Yug took a ring out from inside his coat and holding it towards Sia, he said, " At this beautiful moment, I would like to tell you that I love everything about you. They way you never smile, but when you do at my jokes. The way you fumble with that napkin while we chat. The way you play with your hair when you hear me talk. The way you wave at the kids with that little thing you do with your nose. The way you make every moment so special for me. They way you make me feel I AM ALIVE. Today, give me the pleasure to love another way of yours, the way you'll say you'll spend the rest of you life with me. Will you marry me?"

Sia could feel her head buzzing, if not for the presence of some not-so-familiar people, she would have fainted. She drank from her glass of orange juice as to gather strength and nodded her head in approval. She had no choice now.

There was a man she loved and there was this man who loved her so much. She remembered the old saying- Marry the one who loves you for that very moment.

Arjun kept staring at her out of anger,disgust, jealousy, disappointment... he did not know what all adjectives would define his emotions that very moment. "But that's what I wanted", he could not convince himself. No, he could not.

The atmosphere there was getting too tense for Arjun and Sia to bear with. Sia faked a headache and she left all her world behind.

That was then...

Looking out of the window by her bedside, she thought of the times they spent together.

"But why did he come back now??", Sia asked.

Only one man knew the answers to all her questions and that was Arjun.

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