Nothing like DESI-pan!! :)

Haanji ;) Aa gayi main fir sey... :D :D I dedicate this post to all the people who say "Iss desh mein kuch nahi rakhkha"... "US/UK jaisi koi jagah nahi" "Mujhey toh phoren hi settle hona hain" "Yaar, wahan ki baat hi kuch aur hain"... I say "CHALO CHALO HATO, SIDE DO.." Aur haan, if someone minds it, post aagey mat padna.By gawd!! main naa, kisi ka dil nahi todna chahti :D :D. Achcha hain tootey... pehley sochna tha... desh se pyaar nahi toh main kya karun...khair chaddo!! While logging on to work today, I got a call from a relative asking me why I am adamant on staying back in India and not marrying a guy abroad and making it tough for my folks.Not for her, but for myself I summed up a few reasons randomly (without thought) and in fun on why INDIA IS THE PLACE especially when we are a day away from our 62nd bday... : 1. Areeeeey yaar!! India mein kho gaye?? No piraaablem!! Paanwaaley, Richshaw-waaley, Theli-waaley, Charas-waaley, Cycle-waaley, Car-waaley...In short itney waaley hain help karney koisi se bhi raasta pooch saktey ho... uski baat hi kuch aur hain.US mein kho gaye?? Bhagwaan bhalaa karey... haan theek hain, I know you have GPS there(uska paisa lagta hain ji), Par wahan bas take left, take right milega.. Apna Hindustani-isshtyle Shortcut kaisey?? hmm... aur GPS naa hua toh...Hindustani All-waalas rock!! 2. Aapki attention chaahungi, MANZ and BOYZ-log, Spitting is dangerous to health and wealth abroad. India mein, arey mast thooko.... No tensssion!! except at few places... 3. MANZ log agree karengey... DESI peti is ONLY available in Hindustan, jab jeb mein ho paisey kum..peeyo desi,RC aur BP... kaun khareedey mehengi rum. 4. LADIEZZ log, U gotta clean,sweep and even attend to your garbage on your own abroad. Saada desh mahaan!! Kaamwaali-bai, koodey-waali bai, kapdey dhoney waali bai,DHOBI,Sabzi waala at your door... :) 5. You don't get awesome street-food ( Chat, paanipuri, pav-bhaaji) pardes mein, the way you get it in India. 6. Desh mein, Every other ladiezz is AUNTY and gentz is UNCLE. (I call my maid Babli-Aunty)Boley toh rishtey aisey hi ban jaatey hain. Abroad, Aunty means AUNTY, you see. Complex!! 7. You forgot your lunch back home, fikar not... Everyone is ready to offer you theirs... "Arey yaar, chal aaj mere saath khaa...aaj main rajma lekey aaya hun"... Pardes mein, you SHOULD buy your own lunch. 8. India mein festivals ki bahaar...chutti-time ki bharmaar... :) Aisi discount-bhari zindagi aur kahaan?? ;) 9. Desh mein, when you are thru a crisis, dost log say"Abey!! itna dimaag ka fry mat kar, main hun naa yaar, jo mera woh tera"...Pardes mein "Why did not you get a medical insurance done"? 10. Desh mein,neighbours are family."Arey beta aaj bittu ki mummy beemar hain, lunch humaarey yahan se jaayega". Pardes mein "who? what? aha! home delivery" ;) "Aunty, humney nayi car li hain, mummy ne mithaayi di hain"...Pardes mein... Nayi car?? Big deal!! 11. Desh mein, people stand up and fight for one person, even when they don't know you well. Pardes mein, who cares abt u... 12. Desh mein, bindaas life hain...u dont have a bro or a sis... fikar not... Rakhi time and you will have enuff of them to call ur own. 13. We have the awesomest (yes, I knw grammatical error) educationists, engineers and jobs. India is recession proof ab tak. 14. India mein paisa kamaana aasan, yaa toh chat ki dukaan khol lo yaar kuch aur nahi toh TV actor ban jaao. 15. India mein: we shout,dance,jump and live it up for a month on a wedding,mundan and even on a promotion, ENJAAYMENT ke liye reason chahiye bas. Pardes mein feeki-fooki wedding :) :) 16. India mein... arey yaar... Punjab hain, Kerala hain, Bengal hain, Mumbai hain... aur kitni saari cities jo khud mein kamaal aur malaamaal hain... 17. Arey humaarey daily ke Heer-Raanjha ke saamney(pados waaley, dilli waaley)... feekey hain Romeo-Juliet.. :D :D (faaltu-giri) 18. India mein, jaaney tu yaa jaaney naa... fir bhi blogger dost se bhi tujhey super-pyaar hain... agar aaj usey bukhaar hain.. toh tu get well soon ke ecard ke saath taiyaar hain... :D :D 19. By gawd, animals ko itni izzat kisi aur country mein nahi milti... we worship cows, we feed crows,kabutars, dogs,cats for PUNYAA-KAMAAYEE. 20. We accept every culture and religion with open arms(leave aside politicians here)... aur fir, humaari mehmaan-nawaazi ki toh baat hi kuch aur hain. 21. Desh mein, you can scold ur kid to set things right, pardes mein "Dad how dare you touch me?? Am calling cops" 22. Desh mein, "Mom actually...well...mom... u see... Rohan... actually...I...we...mom... he wants to marry me, what do u say"... Pardes mein "Hi mom, we got married, herez our kid... isnt Rohan hot??" ROFL... (that was exaggerated)... hehehe 23. Desh mein, you have nothing to do?? BEG!! BEG!! BEG!! easiest thing to do. Pardes mein...Ahem! Ahem! 24. Desh mein, Eunuchs dance...threaten and celebrate when you are happy... Pardes mein.. Chaddo!! *Not talking abt it* 25. DEDICATED TO ABHINAV(AD)... Desh mein Rakhi Sawant hain, aur kahaan?? :D :D In short, Mera Desh Mahaan... aur Ji mere ko toh bahut garv hain ispey... :) Main yahin khush hun...theek hain I get angry at times.. par apna...apna hain... :) :) SO WHAT ARE YOUR REASONS?? ADD-UP!!

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Moment of Realization

Sometimes you have one of those usual weeeks and one of those usual days but its upto you to make them un-usual or special as they say...

I have thought quiet a bit in past 2-3 days, not that deep thinking I must say... but some sort of thinking... and I know things have changed... changed somehow.

I no more want to lose weight just coz the whole world wants me to get married... I want to(infact, to correct it) I AM, working towards it coz I WANT TO look beautiful and feel good/fit about myself.

I understand I have lost some years of my life in fixing it(life) up, instead, I cud have just lived it up all those years.

I know now that I somewhere deep inside don't understand marriage and it is absolutely normal to feel that way. You don't marry coz everybody does, you marry coz YOU want to.

I realised I am ambitious and I DO want to make it big someday. May be end up as someone who will be remembered for all the good and SOME bad things... ;)

I now understand that I am HAPPY when I want to be... I know I can make jokes, laugh at them like crazy even when people dont make them for me. :) In short, now I know, I don't need someone to be happy... I have it all in me.

I now realise that I have so much in me that I left un-recognized. I just did not notice that I AM SPECIAL. Probably, in this race called life, I left myself way behind and when I stopped to catch a breath all I did was rush back there and get myself back together again ;) DONNO IF IT MAKES SENSE TO YOU!!

I now realise that I am a good person but I have to get better...

I know now, that the time is less and there is so much to do in this one life... and I am going to make the most of it.

I understand that sometimes all that matters to me is to make everyone smile around me... it kinda makes me feel content and alive.

I know now, who are my friends and who are not... So I will still help people, the way I did... but I will only love the few good ones ;)

I know now that people pull you down coz all they want is to be YOU...

I donno something inside me makes me feel positive and tells me.. that it is one of those times when things change... and this time they've changed for good...

Did you try finding out something great about urself today?Did you smile today?? If not, DO THAT right now. :)

Arey haan! HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY, YAAR!! ;) Bhool gayi thi... :D... Hope u guys had a fun weekend.

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Reach out before its too late....

When they say "its not an easy life"...They mean it.

Mom's colleague's nephew committed suicide last nite coz he could not get the marks he wanted in the first of year of his college...and it has SHOCKED me... n brought back the memories from the past when mom's best friend's son did the same.

I can't judge the people who decide to kill themselves... they have their reasons... but when something like this happens around you...You regret...regret not being there when the person wanted you to listen...regret that u did not make that one call and told him/her that things will be fine.

Like Mom asked me " Did not he think once what his paralytic mom will go thru?"... I wanted to tell her " Mom, when a person decides to kill himself, he knows nothing except just being there, and doing that"...

I don't want to debate on this... all I want to say here is... Whenever you know someone is going thru a low,be there... tell them, you will always be there... and things will look up for sure...

Trust me!! THIS helps... I had no one who cud tell me all this when I went thru the dark period in my life... not that no one tried... its just that... when you are going thru a rough period, you tend to shut all doors that reach you...and some people never try to make an effort to push open those doors...

At that very moment, when someone stands by you and makes an effort to reach out,to help you dream again... YOU START BELIEVING THAT IT IS GOING TO BE ALL FINE.

After what I saw in my life, I make an effort everyday to reach out, to listen and to understand the people around me...Sometimes I am able to solve their problems... Sometimes all I can do is just be there... and tell them "Everythingz gonna be alrite. Keep faith".Faith does work wonders... and so does a friend's support... a kind gesture... and just a lil bit of listening and warmth...

I know every article, every blog and every book says that... but...We, the humans are so lazy and ignorant to this, that we need to be reminded again and again... so that we do not REGRET later...

Talk...Share a smile... Hug that someone today... :) Who knows its gonna brighten it up for them...

Stay happy and remember that its a precious life... why did God not make us one of the Happy Singh's (that's my pet ;))... he gave us this life so we cud make the most of it...

U will stumble.. U will fall.. but get up...shout at him (GOD) and get going!! :) Love ya!!

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Mumble-Fumble : Hai Sharmaaon...

NIDDZZI ke Blog ka Updated Link : http://drunkthought.blogspot.com How many times has it happened to you in life that someone caught you off guard unknowingly and you were left embarassed and red-faced... ;) Aaj 20 mins ki break mein, I got nostalgic and came up with this list... ;) Ab meri life mein toh masaaley ki kami nahi hain.. so I had my share of such moments... 1. My manager came from US and we went out for dinner in my cab. On our way back,I told the driver, "Yeh bag DICKY mein rakhna"... and my manager took me aside and told me "How can you use THAT word?" and I was so damn embarassed when I realised it, but still I told him that in India, that's wat you call the trunk of the car. Abhi mera dimaag mein sab time porn aur sex toh nahi chalta naa yaar. :( :( 2. Now this one is weird too, I was chatting with my long-time friend S and like every chat freak, I used the usual short-forms (for details on short forms refer to Abhinav's post) and I used CUM instead of COME unknowingly. This guy jumped off his desk I think as he scolded me "Are you mad? Never use CUM for COME"... hehe...I was so so ashamed. Men are too porn/sex centred, this proves it yet again... anyways, I still make sure I never mistake here... 3. Aagey badtey hain, I was in class 9th and two gunda-party guys were playing juggling game with tennis balls and the TBs made their way to my bench for the umpteenth time. I angrily told them "I am not going to give your balls back to you, I am going to crush them and throw them out of the window". Now I know, why they made that face and then kept laughing at me... :( 4. Summer of 2005, a guy tells me " If I did not have the ring on my finger, I wud have hit it off with you" blowing a cute punch on my head. I understood " If I DID NOT HAVE THE RING, I WUD HAVE HIT IT ON UR HEAD"...hahaha... How can someone be so stupid, I wonder. But I did not know what hitting on someone meant back then. Par hum, hum hain.. baaki saarey paani kumm hain...hehehe 5. Summer of 2007, a handsome Danish guy driving me to Pacific Ocean beach looks at me with sexy blue-green eyes and asks me on hearing me play Roxette in the car, "Don't you think you are not that old to be hearing this, I wonder if you were born when this came out". This is what I heard ,"Dont you think you are not that old to be wearing this, I wonder if you were born when this came out" and thought its about my dress and I told him " Dont worry, you need not tell people you are with me"... LOL Shit!! I realised later and I cursed myself to miss on that wonderful moment. grrr... 6. Winters of 2006, another guy tells me " Why do you keep rejecting men, are you not straight?"... I told him,"Well, yeah am not straight, I am curvy"... hahaha... Coz I did not know what STRAIGHT meant back then... mujhey laga pata nahi yeh kyun bola aisa;) ;) 7. Summers of 2008, a guy asks me to marry him, my reaction,"Haww, kyun? kya hua? koi ladki nahi mili?" with a serious look on my face... He made a face, looked at me in confusion and went away. Well, I was just being ME. :( There are many of such moments, I am sure we all had some of these at one point of our life.. toh tumhara MUMBLE FUMBLE moment kya hain?? Aur suno yaaron! mere ko EGYPT se ek professional assignment ka offer aaya hain.. If all goes well, I will leave for Egypt soon for 2 months... :) Aish maaro!!

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Maar Daala... :D :D

Arey yaaaaaaar! blog likhney ka plan toh nahi tha.. par yeh chunari mein daag ne mere bhejey ki band bajaa di... I HAD to change the song and the mood of the blog.. I know I have been angry about a lot of things offlate... and I know they are not going to change... Kya karein!! par effort kartey rehney ka... Ofcourse there are many a things, that have changed... Famous of all is the Delhi High Court ruling which everyone is talking about. For some, it is good news and for some, it is not. Like my mom... being the typical punjaban that she is, her reaction to this news was "haaye rabba! waisey hi ladkey nahi miltey shaadi ke liye... ab yeh law aayega rabba.. hunn teh hor mushkil ho jaayegi". Isn't she fun?? hehe.. It is particular of Hindustani Maa-log, they always take every news with their kids in their mind. I am sure not many LGBT activists thought of this reaction. ;) But may be they did, if they have Punjabi moms. ;) Another change is that my manager finally gave me a leave after I wrote him an emotional mail.. but sooner he forgot he assigned leave and he called me on Day 1 of my leave and assigned a lot of work and when he stopped his speech of work, I told him "Ahem! well, seems you forgot, but you approved my leave two weeks back". His reactions was "Really? I did??"... LOL... By gawd!! life mein tamaashey kamm they jo yeh bhi... he still asked me to work on a few things as it was urgent and I spent day 1 of my leave working for my office. :D Kya kismat hain?? wah wah. Change was that MJ is no more with us and some people are only written good of when they are no more. Ahem! I hope we'll realise that we gotta tell them, we love them, when they are HERE and not when they are not around. Ek aur change tha..mast sa.. Change of attitude... The story goes that we have our family's ENT specialist, Dr. Ombir Singh and we all turn up at his door with our Kaan, Naak and Galaa isssues. We swear by his treatment and I am a secret fan of his. Recently, my mom's best friend told her that HER neighbour rushed into her house with the news that Dr. Saheb is dead. He died of a heart attack while examining a patient. Probably, the bad-breath was something his heart could not take up. Main toh khudh sochti thi..how come he manages to look to deep into people's throat...yuck yuck!! Anyways, so mom passed this news to bua, bua passed it to her neighbours and her neighbors passed it to their friends and family. Finally by the end of the day, almost 3/4th of the NCR knew that Dr. Saheb is gone. My Chaa(chachu) is a regular patient of Dr. Saheb so he decided to pay his regards to the family and he rushed to the clinic the next morning and he came back home with an APPOINTMENT. Dr. Saheb is alive and kickin it with the magnifying glass and churi kaanta that he has. ;) Moral of the story is : Hindustani Aunty log ko "Gossiper of the Century" ka award toh milna hi chahiye.. Some of them mourned his death by not eating lunch, some cried and some good souls like me felt really bad for him. hehehehe... Achchey khaasey mast aadmi ka ram naam satya kar diya by gawd!! In short, Oh! Darling yeh hain India... :D :D This brought in a change of attitude atleast in my mom, she has decided she'll make sure the news is authentic before she lets it spread...LOL.. I am enjoying cooking at home, lazying around and watching action movies like Die Hard and Mission Impossible... :D I love them. I had no plans to come near my laptop all this while but cud not resist sharing this news with you guys... hehe...mujhey lagaa kahin Dr Saheb ki tarah mera bhi raam naam satya naa kar diya ho logon ne yeh sochkey ki I am no more blogging... Toh behno aur unkey bhai logon...hehe I AM STILL ALIVE... :D :D Have fun logo... ;)

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Raped...Molested...Harassed...Whoz that gal??

The more I think that I will stay away from writing, the more it pulls me towards itself. This time I had no plans to be back and blog abt anything but I HAD to. I had to on behalf of every gal I know and I don't know.

Something is disturbing me day in...day out. Every other blogger writes abt it and every other blogger comments about it but sadly, it never ceases to happen.. or shud I say there is a new victim every day...

The word in itself will bring horror to the minds of many readers (especially female readers)... RAPE is the dreaded word...

I dont intend to depress people but then I can't fake it... so my state of mind right now at 11:30 pm, is of disgust and frustration... I keep telling myself... No, its not going to happen to me.. and I KNOW that I am LYING to myself... It can happen to anyone.

Before the guys come out with all sorts of stuff like "Men are raped too" like Shiney Ahuja's wife is shouting off the rooftops these days... I wud say "Gimme a break guys... it is not as often as women"...But I do stand up for the fact that be it a man or a woman, Rape is a heinous crime.

Now I am not going to say things abt law and stuff here... coz everyone knws abt it here... we knw it is a crime...and blah blah...

What is the point in knowing it all when I can't do anything abt it?? If I step outside my house for work in my office's AC car, I dont think abt my future or probably something that makes me happy... instead I keep telling myself that I'll reach home safely at the end of the day. The situation is worsening especially in NCR and Delhi.

I don't trust the cops, neither the crowd nor the people who claim to be my frenz. Why should I trust either of them??

The crowd watched shamelessly when a gal gets slashed on her face by some men who try to molest her in the bus and no one even tried to help her. I ask such people "Abey! apney ghar jaakar apney zinda honey pe sharam aati hain ki nahi?? Mera Happy Singh bhi kisi ko musibat mein dekh key usey bachaaney ki koshish karta hain..."

I know, there is no use of saying anything to anyone...

Five cops raped a lonely woman on the pretext of questioning her. What the hell? Who wud trust the cops? Who trusts them anyways?? I feel scared of the men in khakhi since the time I was a kid coz I saw them assualting a woman in full public view in UP. :(

Friends are turning into rapists... I think people are just getting worst day by day.. the limits to insanity are being crossed every moment...

Rape is not only a crime, it is a psychological torture you put the other person thru for life. Kya bolun main? I donno... Kuch samajh nahi aata... koi kis ko takleef dekar... kaisey khush ho sakta hain...

I have come across people, who very proudly say "Abey yaar, main toh trade fair isliye jaata hun... ki bheed mein 2-4 ladkiyon pe toh haath maarney ko mil hi jaata hain"... You might be thinking "Ladki hain, kaisey likh rahi hain"... Sach bolun... Mainu koi farak nahi painda... I dont care even if I shoo some of you away with this avatar of mine... but I really want to make a point here...

I, the woman, am done with it...

When I step out to have my say in processions, the cops manhandle me and put their hands inside my clothes when they abuse me and push me in the crowd. When I step out to attend my tutions, some rich-guys push me in their cars and rape me. When I step outside to go to work so I can earn for my living and my family, I get raped in the name of job interviews. When I step outside to breathe in the air that know no distinction between a man and a woman, I get molested and fondled my men on bikes. When I step outside to make my dreams come true, I am harassed sexually in the name of opportunity. The man I trust the most, gets his friends along and rapes me. The man I consider my idol while I am growing up, rapes me and does not hesitate even once coz of the father-daughter bond we share.

I was also tormented a lot during my teens when I used to travel in buses and walk on roads for my college, tutions and stuff...But one fine day, all the patience and tolerance gave way to REVENGE and AGONY... I gave it back to the people who harassed me... but this was of no use... they did not trouble me anymore... but they did not stop troubling the others... :(

I think every man who tries to cross boundaries with a woman shud remember one thing... that there is always a day when even the most scared soul wud break her tolerance point and THAT day will for sure be the LAST day of this man's happy life... Kehtey hain naa... The more you suppress someone, the stronger they come back to you and avenge themselves.

I know ME and YOU can't do much abt it. But atleast, we can start somewhere. I know agar college mein ek gang ho and the one of the guys is passing lewd comments for a gal... no one wud object... and the one who does... gets it back in the form of "Saaley! teri behan hain kya?" " Kyon bey bahut bura lag raha hain?" "Teri line hain kya?"... Par yaaron dont give up... if you feel that something is wrong, Stand up for it!! It really does make a difference.

I know koi kisi ke pachdey mein nahi padna chaahta aajkal... par do remember... kal jab khud musibat mein hogey naa... then you will realise the importance of it.

Gals!! Tolerate mat karo yaar... Stand up for urself no matter who that person is, whoz troubling you... You need to start fighting for yourself.

Guys!! Soch key dekhney ka... kisi ki life ki baat hain... if you find a gal in trouble, getting teased and harassed... HELP HER yaar... else kya karogey... bas hero banogey kya branded kapdey pehan key yaar....

Be safe and take care... and if any of you felt offended by the post... get yourself an appointment with a Counsellor... Sochna iss baarey mein zarur... kya pata... aapki help se... kisi ki life bach jaaye... hain ki nahi... Chalo yaaron... khayaal rakhna!!

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Bhaago! Exam Aaya....

'Exam' is another word that makes me shiver,sweat, feel giddy and see red, apart from of course the word "LIZARD". This Saturday was my Law exam and I stayed up all night to study law... Bhejey mein ek bhi law nahi ghuss raha tha... Mads, Chitwan... are you listening?? Law Sucks Yaaron!! Mera track record hain: If I don't cry on my exam-day, I don't score well. Every time something happens that makes me sob sob... and I score well... hehehehe....So, keeping up with the record... now when I am a responsible grown-up, I cried yet again on the day of my exam... coz I had a fight with Sunny... :( I almost decided I would not give my exam. But then, I pushed myself a bit and I went to the centre. Damn! I am so nervous on my exam day every time... abhi itney saal ho gaye fir bhi.... :( I breathed heavily while climbing up the stairs (yeah! I know my weight is the culprit, but on an exam-day its all abt nervousness)... and same was my state while climbing down.Damn! I was sweating so badly(Courtesy : 44 degrees in Delhi and my tension) that I rushed to my car, put on the AC on high power mode and gulped down a liter of water in one go. I kept telling myself... "Ho gaya yaar... Law ka paper paas ho gaya" and it took me around 15 mins to sober down a bit. Nautanki ek dum! Sahi Mein. :D Now I feel like laughing at it but no use, coz I know this Saturday when I am off for my next exam.. I will be in the same state... :D I donno what is it about exams... I have been giving exams for past 24 years to be precise. When I was two and a half years old, I sat for a Nursery Entrance exam and the trend of exams continued every year. Every year Mom would say "Bas beta iss saal mehnat kar lo... next year se masti karna"... Life guzar gayi woh next year nahi aaya, yaar...huh! I thought once I wud pass my class 12th exams, life wud be simpler... Aha! nopes, it was not. Then started the series of Entrance exams for various engineering colleges and tests in coachings. So the torture of exams did not stop anywhere. Finally, Finally... I made it to an Engineering college... and told myself "Sigh! I hope its going to be simpler now". I was really stupid...wasn't I?? Anyways, so started the Mechanics, Chemistry and Maths harassment.... and later loads of HIGH-VOLTAGE drama continued for next four years.Chalo ji, I thought "Ab koi exam nahi"... toh ji, job ke liye exam do.. Diya... woh bhi diya... Got thru Satyam... started my training... par wahan bhi qualifier exams...!! By god!! Maa-kasam.. In short... band bajaa di exams ney... I convinced myself that there'll be no more exams but then as they say "Apney pair pe de zor se KULHAADI maar di". I enrolled for Post Graduation in Mass Communication and Journalism. OMG, rabb kisi ke saath itna buraa na karey.I had to write 8 papers in a day, from morning 9 till 6:30 pm with a break of 1 hour. Damn! my right arm froze for a week. :( But, I scored well. Balley-Balley. Offo! Balley balley ka ek smiley toh hona hi chahiye...huh! Everyone thought my love-hate relationship with exams would end...but nopes, I enrolled for lots of Software Product Exams... (God knows yeh ideas mujhey aatey kahaan se hain??)... Now, Mom was sure I had no plans to do anything further but I shocked everyone (including ME) by enrolling for a MBA course and here I am, yet again, writing exams :( Every Friday nite, Mom scolds me... and tells me in Punjabi "Ki Vakhta paa ke baih gayi hain?" which means "What trouble you have got urself into?"... LOL Can't help it... Another exam on the way and I am nervous... :( :( Arey! Suno... kya tumhey bhi darr lagta hain exams sey?? Do you also get tense wense during your exam-time?? Hain!!

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