Thoughts Uncensored ;)
The marriage season is in the offing...and the number of proposals coming in are increasing now.
My cousin is also an engineer like me currently pursuing her MBA. She is a bright person & has won many awards for her contribution in technical as well as social events. Has been globe-trotting like all of us IT people and earns pretty well. She is smart, intelligent, has a great sense of humor and is a great person to be with. She is someone who believes in her dreams and has a bright future ahead(is what everyone says). In a way me and her think on the same lines so I can identify with her easily.
She is 3 yrs older than me and her parents have been groom-searching for past 2 yrs. She forwarded me some mails just to let me know what I can expect in future and I found these mails interesting. Full of hypocrisy and double-standards.
My most favourite picks are here :
ABC, being highly focused,ambitious and hard working person. He keeps on travelling abroad (Just to mention, during last year itself, he has travelled about 7-8 times to different countries). Thus, we are looking in his better half, an understanding - that binds them together in unison towards a long lasting, blissful life. We would like his better half to have similar understanding. The girl should be professionally qualified however we would not like her to continue work after marriage for compatible & delightful life.She should not consume non-veg food (including egg). We would only consider the match if the KUNDLIS match.His brother is a Project Mgr in a MNC and sister-in-law is also a Home maker (B.Tech, MBA) and has quit work after marriage.
XYZ, is an ambitious and diligent person with moderna values. We are a family of liberal ideas. He travels a lot for work to foreign countries. We are looking for a fair,slim,beautiful and traditional girl who is professionally qualified (preferably BE or MBA).Please contact us with her details including her current weight,her latest photograph and any special acheivements. We also like to mention that our Panditji's decision will be the final decision. Since we are a financially secure family, we do not want the girl to work after marriage so she can devote herself more towards the family and travel with her husband when he is on business trips. Kindly contact us with her BHP.
Thanks for your mail. The boy in question is working as a Senior Engineer in a top MNC and holds modern values. He is a god-fearing, handsome and career-oriented person. We are looking for a homely and professionaly qualified girl. She should be fair,slim,beautiful and respect elders. If currently working,she should discontinue work after marriage to ensure a harmonious family life. Please contact us with her current photo and other details.
Amazing people!
Some people call her parents with marriage proposals but once they get to know that she spent a year in US and keeps travelling, they kinda ask them how can they send their daughter to such a place for so long...ha ha
I love these people...they boast of their sons when they travel abroad and they have different rules for the women of the house.
Surprisingly, this is not the first time I heard something like this. One of my frenz at my last workplace also faced quiet a situation when she met up with a guy her parents chose for her. He went on praising her for her intellect and looks for the first two meetings (she wore Indian traditional wear)and when they met for the third time (when she was in a t-chirt and jeans), he asked her, "Will you wear all this after marriage too?"...She told me she was so taken aback when that guy went on with his lecture on how gals shud not wear SUCH clothes... Itz pretty obvious she declined the proposal.
I wonder what will happen once my parents resume this groom-search. I am for sure not slim at all, I believe in my dreams and I work towards them. Working or not working would be MY decision. I believe in a marriage two people involved grow,share and adapt together. I can't false-worship someone for sure and there are so many things I have not even thought about...I would do in a marriage... I can't ofcourse nod in approval to my husband if he is wrong...I do have a mind of my own which is sane enuff to think and decide at present ;)
Well, watever...but I had a good laugh after reading thru such mails...
Some people need to step out and grow-up.
While Dad was busy in his room, I came to mine and switched on the television thinking I wud sleep watching some music channel.But I stumble upon the movie I always wanted to watch. Ah! I have such a big list to cater to. Anyways this movie is PROVOKED.
I am one person who never liked Aishwarya Rai expecially coz of her acting skills(may be I saw her in all the wrong movies)...may be coz I always appreciated Sushmita Sen in all terms as compared to Ash. But this movie changed my perception to the core. Now, I am in her fanlist too.
The story is about a battered wife based in London, who has undergone trauma,harassment(physical,mental and emotional) and abuse for 10 long years in her marriage to a man who almost killed her child in her womb when she was pregnant. I cud not stand some of the brutality shown in the movie. Later, one nite when he beats her up again, she sets him afire while he is sleeping.
This enrages the whole society and legal system. Facts are manipulated and so are evidences to prove her guilty. OMG the woman is so unware of what she has done until she gets the news of her husband's death in the prison. She curses herself for she believed it was a sin.
The most touching scene was when she wakes up suddenly in the prison coz of a nightmare related to her past abuse. She was so very convincing.
The speech she gives has a sentence that shook me up - I FOUND MY FREEDOM IN PRISON. FREEDOM THAT I THRIVED FOR, IN ALL THESE 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
Finally this timid and unaware woman agrees to appeal against the ruling for the sake of her two sons. The movie is a must-watch for everyone. Although its not a happy movie like the last one I saw but it is gripping.
It scares you to the core coz ITZ A TRUE STORY. Story of Kiranjeet Ahluwalia.
Anyways, after the movie I caught up on some news and a cup of tea.
Mom and bhailog were back from Aunt's place...but the movie left such an effect on me that I was kinda silent for the rest of the day.
Sometime it happens to you...sometimes some truths rip you apart and it seems you ask urself...Why this??
Anyways...with a rather silent note and some confusions I hit the bed...
Sunday...was a mix of sweet memories we had and a gripping truth I came across.
This Saturday started on a lazy note. I got up at 10 in the morning and was treated with a nice cup of tulsi-ginger tea by our house-maid, Bubbly Auntie :) She is with us for past 12-13 years and for past two years she is the one who prepares tea for me every morning. I am absolutely addicted to that tea.
So, I woke up and found Happy Singh next to my bed wagging his tail. He gave me his usual Good Morning kiss(lol...he has this habit of kissing people on their nose)...and jumped off to catch up with his buddy Rustam on the terrace.
I love Saturdays...they are so lazy ;) Honey cooked grilled sandwiches for breakfast and they were yummy.
Mom had her skool so she came home at lunchtime and all of us prepared the lunch together. It was so much fun. I love such moments...when all of us are working together and sharing silly jokes in the process... ;) This is what I call real-bonding...and thts wat families are for...
In the evening when Mom went for her walk n me was watching a movie(while watching the movie I thought I wud blog abt it for sure), I heard the bell and somehow I guessed something is wrong with Happy...Ah! Ankit kept the door ajar and Happy ran outside...
Shuh! I hate such mistakes...coz me and mom keep insisting at home that the men of our house need to realise that they have certain responsibilities they shud cater to...All guys in my house except Sunny are so irresponsible when it comes to closing the door when they leave the house...
Its really scary on the roads and I was so damn worried about Happy. He is so small and such a kid...we have so many street dogs around and last time they caught hold of him, they almost killed him :(
Finally I had to run in my capris looking for him coz I know he gets furious with Ankit and Honey so I HAD to go, find him and bring him back... We have a temple near my place and it was so crowded...Somehow I managed to find Happy and Ankit told me that how when he tried to pick Happy up forcefully he bit him on his hand... :(
I felt so bad for him and for Happy too...I am a dog-lover and am not the one who wud punish them....but I knew Dad wud get furious at him for this... :(
I urged Ankit not to create a scene in front of Dad...after all itz also my bros fault...first they provoke the dogs and then they expect them to be disciplined... I always tell them that dogs learn what you teach them...and if you guys treat them with no discipline, they will bounce back...
Anyways, I requested both him and Dad to spare Happy...but he was punished really bad for this...I understand he bit Money...but...after a long time I cried out of anger and helplessness when I could not reach out to him... :(
I donno why but when Mom came back from her walk I cried like anything coz I cannot see anyone being hurt in any manner. Happy is not my first dog.I have spent last 7 years of my life with Caesar. He was a Bulgarian Spitz and my first dog. I loved him so much and when Happy was being rebuked for what he did, I could not take it.
I have been with Happy from the time when he was all of 20 days or so...I have fed him with my hands, have shared every day with him and I just can't tolerate anyone hurting him...I cried and cried until mom assured me that no one will ever hurt him...
I donno why I get so sensitive when it comes to people I love...I think itz the same with everyone, we go out of our way to make sure that the people we love are safe...
I made Happy sleep on my lap and made sure he felt comfortable with his share of care and affection...I love him :)
While am writing this post, Happy is sleeping peacefully and I know this was the last time that I let someone hurt him...
I know I will discipline him with love...and am sure abt it.
While sipping on my early morning cup of hot water, I thought of reading thru the newspaper...Well to start with, I usually think of doing the same everyday but in our house it gets difficult to grab the paper as when everyonez home, they want their own piece of news... :)
Somehow I caught hold of the paper and sip by sip I turned pages when a news-item attracted my attention. Somebody asked the same old question again. "Why can't an individual be identified by mother's name only?". The title for the article read - Fathers name still only measure of identity.
Now this news was something which I HAD to read.(the reason I will tell you laters in the post)
I really wonder, why if a father has left his kids and family long back, the law still wants that past lingering in the kids' lives?? Ah! this is baseless.
I understand both the parents are important but with the number of single parents(especially single moms) growing in our country, I think the authorities need to wake up and think about it.
May sound cliche, but if a mother is the one who bears the pain and labor of bringing a life into this world, why is she denied the right to be the primary parent?? I think this adds to more humiliation for the single mother and the child too.
We should accept change in our society and we should accept that women have carved a niche of their own. They have built identities that they are proud of and they would also want their kids to carry the same and most of the times, the kids also want the same.
Single moms already have a lot to cater to like every single parent has to and such incidents only add to their trouble.
I think when we have recognised Domestic Violence act for Live-in relationships, we must go a step further and intoduce another amendment where name of either parent can be used as a measure of identification.
This article made me think a little more coz of a very special secret of mine which am going to share today.
I always wanted to adopt a kid(now don't gimme that every-gal-says-so look!!) infact, a girl child. May sound funny to most of you but this is something I planned upon when I was 13 yrs old. :)
I always wanted to grow up with someone yet again... And day before while I was chatting with an old-time friend she asked me, "Why don't you go ahead and do it?".
Hmm..even am asking myself...I have lot many answers or excuses may be...I know my mom will be freaked out if she ever gets to know abt it and my family may just boycott me...or I know initially they all will think that I am just trying to be funny with them...and laters they will pack me off to some remote country...lol
In India, for an umarried woman to adopt a kid is like a big taboo even now. I know my mom wud come up with justifications like "Who will marry you?" ,"What will we tell our relatives?" ,"how will your brothers get married?", "Why do you want to bring shame to the family?", "Why do you want to spoil you life?"
My questions may raise many eyebrows today but I want to ask, "Why if I really want to be responsible for a kid, I need a father?" ,"Why is it compulsory to get married if you want to adopt a kid?","What is shameful about it?"...and my list goes on...
I know its a huge huge responsibilty and I really feel somewhere deep down that I wanna do it but yes, I am not coward yet I don't want to hurt my parents also...
Sometimes when I get into thinking about his, I feel I have one life to live and may be my last chance to fulfill all my desires...and giving someone a beautiful life is one of them...
In a country where girl child is killed before birth, I want to see that beautiful smile grow in front of me...I want to protect and cuddle her so atleast I am able to save one life from turning into a nightmare.
All these thoughts, just take me into a world I have left behind. A world where I was willing and free to do all that I wanted to...
But the kind of emotional person I am, I wud never ever hurt my family and for them I donno for how long I wud supress my wish to adopt a gal.
Frenz say ,"What if you find a great guy who agrees to it after marriage?"...Puhleese gimme a break...I have met enuff people in my life to know how many of the men my age wud ever accept something like this...and even if it happens again why shud one luk for marriage as an option for this?
Why does a man always have the say...huh! I donno...I just wish if my wish wud come true... :)
Herez to all the single mothers...You are the best!!
I remember Zirelda posting on her blog few days back about how the month of September is here...Yeah it is here...September means a lot to me...reason being itz Mom's bday on 24th of this month... :) and I love to surprise her...
Last year, I sent her flowers in my signature style when I was in Hong Kong...and bought her bags and gifts back from there...This year, I wanna surprise her yet again...but I have already emptied my pockets...
Ah! why don't I plan stuff??
For the first time in my life, without any doubts, I accept Dad is right ;) He always asks me to save for myself and I end up spending on gifts and family...He always asks me to be a lil smart with money atleast so I can save something for myself... The irony is I picked up this habit of gifting my frenz and family from him...lol
I love doing that...I love to see that smile when I surprise someone...Itz a great feeling to make someone happy in a special manner :)
Mmm...I was thinking of getting her a saree again..but that's so cliche... :( Hmm..then thought of gifting her a treadmill as she is on a weight-loss spree but then we already have a non-motorised at home...It is so difficult for me to decide on it...
Moms expect nothing from you...and thtz the biggest problem...Ah! Wish she had told me what she expects for a gift...No point asking her...
I am so confused... feels like am back to college...am couting my money again...ha ha ha... ;)
She is not the one for materialistic gifts...I think I shud plan a surprise dinner for her at home... and invite her best friend over :)
Yeah! that sounds good...her favourite cake, her favourite dishes and her favourite ME ;) Mom does not like to eat out... She prefers the cosiness of home and family to restaurants...
Shud I gift her a couple's dinner at a nice place??
Uhuh! I am still confused... I am gonna sleep over it tonite...
BTW my approvals have come for the conference...gotta work harder now...
I am not the first person whoz writing about this movie...Love has been talked abt and experienced by many....
Last night, I saw a movie I had been waiting to grab a dvd of...Everytime I asked Sunny to get me a dvd...he wud say,"Ah! its not available at the parlor yet, how abt Pirates of Carribean?" ...No offences to this movie's fans, itz just not my type...
For somelike me whoz a sucker for romances, a romantic movie does all that chocolates can't do :) They uplift my mood...
So finally,I stumbled upon "Music & Lyrics" on HBO...and I jumped on my bed...Oops! Happy Singh woke up and gave me one of his Shez-gone-crazy-again looks...I winked at him apologetically :)
Hugh Grant is one guy apart from ofcourse George Clooney,Mathew McConaughey and Hugh Jackman, who makes me go all crazy for him... And I love Drew Barrymore...Shez so real(may be coz at times she is on the chubbier side)... I loved her in '50 First Dates' and even in both the 'Charlies' Angels' series. :)
I could relate to the movie...two self-confessed losers who lost evrything they always cherished and lived for(their dreams)...and they get an opportunity to get back there and shine... Unknowingly they end being each others' motivation and stregth....they team up for a song...for their dreams...to prove themselves...to snatch back that identity...I donno wat...but they were so real...Sophie and Alex... :)
I loved the movie...Not that it can beat 'Serendipity" or all my other all-time favourites anywhere...but it was a nice movie abt believing in ur dreams and love... and the love story in this movie was more of a backdrop...I think it was abt dreams...and how you can always do what you believe in... Thankfully I got to watch a nice n simple romance with no sob-sob stuff :)
Hmm...a feel good movie...after wat happened this Saturday...
And ofcourse the song was really nice "Way back into love"...
I wonder how beautiful it wud be to be in love...Well, I wud leave that for all you people in love to comment on...
I told myself there would not be another such incident again...but who am I to decide?
I was reading thru Gaurav's post about Delhi Blasts, and suddenly I cud recall those words again that made me cry yesterday somewhere inside my heart.
We were preparing for breakfast yesterday as it was Sunday and Mom had something special for my kid brothers in the menu (Aloo-Parathas)..As usual we were having fun and teasing each other...When out of nowhere, Ankit brought up the topic of the blasts in Delhi which happened this Saturday and Dad said something that made me feel so shaken up from inside that I could not even eat a single bite of the sandwich I held in my hand.
He said," Socho koi maa shaam ko ghar mein roti banaa rahi hogi, aur intezaar kar rahi hogi ki mera beta ghar aayega office se toh kitna khush hoga ki uskey pasand ka khaana banaaya hain...Uss maa ko kya pata ke betey ne kabhi ghar aana hi nahi" : "Think about a mother who wud be cooking her son's favourite dish for dinner and waiting for him to come home and suprise him...poor woman! she wud not know that her son wud never return home coz he died in the blasts" and he went away to his room. I could feel the lump in his throat. :(
Everytime I write about the blasts, I hit another low in my mood... I can't write anymore in this section...I just wanted to share these words which held enuff depth to keep me thinking the whole nite and even now...
My heart goes out to people who lost their loved ones in this tragedy which is a master-mind of a bunch of jerks. Wishing for peace and harmony in the world, I sign off.
With the weekdays making me almost go crazy, the weekend was no relief either but yeah it was interesting...
Saturday was reserved for all the bank work that we had to do. Ankit had few forms to fill-up, I had some documents to be submitted and Mom asked us to check with the banks for few things she wanted to know. Ah! Friday evening, I kept thinking what kinda saturday it wud be...
Saturday morning, I managed to get up in time and after munching on a toast, me and Ankit drove off and it was so hot that at one moment I thought there was something wrong with the car's AC. On the road, amidst all the scattered traffic, there were bullock-carts, Carts, Scooters, Bikes, Cars, Autos, Buses, Rickshaws and Cows all trying to form some kind of a circular ring around us...ah! the road was so jam-packed.
Finally we stopped over at one bank and I cud hear a bank-official cribbing abt how Saturdays are monsterous for them as people keep pouring in...A certain Mr. Gupta (sincerely chewing on his paan) said ,"Arey, Sharma saheb apna counter toh enquiry counter bann gaya hain, jo chaahta hain mooh uthaaye chalaa aata hain, form kahaan milega,FD kahaan banegi,insurance kahaan hogi aur kabhi kabhi toh chai kahaan milegi"..."Mr Sharma, my desk has become an enquiry counter as every other person comes here to ask me things like where do we get a form, tea etc." Mr. Sharma laughed it off and said,"Bhaiyaa, ab toh aiseeey hi chalega, waisey ek baat batao yeh Naye account ke form kahaan milengey?"...lol...this man himself asked him from where he cud get the forms...funny people...
Once I was done with this bank, we moved on to another bank and I decided to stay in the car rather than go inside and witness the crowd that seemed to grow minute by minute... It was not a good decision on my part though, as I felt so hot outside...Ah! And the scene around me was also not quiet good, some guys at the near-by tea-stall kept ogling at me. To my surprise, there was a cop accompanying them...well in a way I was less surprised....coz I don't hold any respect for the U.P. cops in particular....they are gross and cheap...They started passing some comments about me and I was running out of patience...my hands were folded into fists...holding myself back...
I have enuff reasons to hold back...Mom has asked me to promise her that I will never try to get into any problems with the cops no matter how sick they are(once while in skool, I confrinted a cop for taking bribe from bus drivers in my school, it was not a gud experience)...and she has also asked me to avoid confronting any delhi or UP guys...ah! not her fault, she is scared coz she has seen enuff in this city...more than me...I keep coming in and going out but she stays here...
I felt like slapping the two guys hard...but...watever...am so pissed off even now...
Sooner, Ankit came back and we both started deciding on what to cook for lunch...He told me, "Yaar, I am really hungry, lets buy some Maggi noodles and you cook it for us and for lunch lets suprise mom"...I was like,"Aha! we wud need to shop for grocery then".
Ankit : "Sure, we wud go for that but I hope you know that you gonna cook"
Me : "But am too tired to shop yaar, wanna go back,cook and sleep"
Ankit: "Ah! come one, now don't gimme that. Don't you want to surprise all of us with a great lunch".
Me: "Fine" (In my mind : "Yeah! Me only surprise you sweets...How abt u...")
We went up to the supermarket to get the stuff and he kept throwing all the expensive cosmetics in the shopper's bucket...I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he pretended as if he did not notice...The biggest fool in the world is ME when it comes to my three kid brothers...They can fool me into buying anything for them.Sometimes, I don't even realise what's there in the shopping bag until the biller asks me,"Mam, wud you like to pay by cash or credit card?"....lol
This time it was a big list of shampoos,conditioners,scrubs,face-washes,soaps and ofcourse snacks...the guy at the billing desk told me my bill crossed all hundreds and was nearing a thousand and told me,"Mam,its our pleasure to let you know that you win a surprise gift for all the shopping you have done". I was like,"If I knew what have I shopped for!"....ha ha ha
Watever, I enquired abt home-delivery and on-call services with them and we rushed back home...Ankit asked me to open the gift and it was a beautiful brass-coloured vase made in clay... I wanted to jump and say,"Wow! am surprised"...Puhleese! it was not at all gr8 or surprising ... but okay..am glad it suits the color of the drawing-room walls and I can place it in the right most corner... :)
After all the gift-celebration, I took up the job to cook... Mixed-veg noodles and milk-shake were served for brunch and the early evening meal had a big menu : Cholley (Gravied Grams), Rice, Green Salad, Raita...and pickles...
What a Saturday it was...!! Sunday, we spent re-arranging the furniture and cup-boards in our house...and I indulged in some self-pedicure and head-massage... :) I think only I can do justice when it comes to pampering myself. :) My foot-therapy thing left me feeling sleepy...and I hit the bed early... :) This ended a much hectic and intereting week... :) And when I prayed I knew it would be another sunshine tomorrow which will bring another Monday...and ahum! Monday blues... ;)
Last week has been one of the craziest weeks in my life :) The picture says it all...this post is just a part of the week..the rest will follow later.
I got a call Saturday night at around 11 from some telecom-giant client of our company. Before I could rub my eyes well enuff to open them, I got to know he conferenced my managers as well as his senior managers in the call. I was half-asleep and I cud hear mom complaining in her sleep about the late-nite fone call that disturbed her peace.
Anyways, the funniest thing I have ever heard in the middle of the nite is what my manager told me...After almost shaking me out of my sleep, he asked me on the call,"I hope you were not sleeping!".No...No...Why wud I sleep at 11 pm at nite...This is the time to get up and go for a jog or rather get into some dancing...Oh man! gimme a break...I planned this nite so well...I though I wud sleep at 10 pm and wake up early to get started with my yoga sessions at 4:30 am in the morning...
If you ask me, I felt like hanging up or may be throw him off some cliff, if I got a chance... :) He kept asking me some super-advanced questions abt the client's issue and told me it was urgent. Ahum! I cud not even tell him that it was not my skill-scope but then, we are not supposed to say that when the client reps are in the call. So I simply heard him talking until I realised I almost slept leaning on to the wall. :) He asked me to reach office in another hour to fix the problem. I was like,"Are you joking?" in my mind. I told him, I was out of town and will only be able to make in on Monday...He did not spare me even then.
I had to stay up late till 2 am to contact the worlwide guys on the issue and the whole Sunday went by just like that. Then came Monday morning and this guy from Client's side wakes me up at 6 in the morning and asks me to come to office. How cud I tell him that the issue they stated is not my domain at all...Anyways, I tried calling my manager to get this fixed but he slept till 9 and wen he got up, he asked me to go to client's place....Reason being my mgr himself messed up the client's work ....Shuh! This simply puts me off, he never bothers to consult us before he throws up his half-baked ideas in the client's direction.
I told him it wud take me 7 hrs to reach...finally he threw it all on me and I had to somehow reach client's place to fix something I have no clue about....Monday was super-crazy.....I had a toast to sustain my medicines and could not manage anything to eat till 8 at nite...I could have actually fainted, Thanks to someone up there, who takes care of all us...I survived...
Problem is I cannot eat or drink outside due to the constraints my doc has put on me...So I kept working with a backing of a toast for the whole day under so much pressure, where 15 guys stood behind me watching each n every step of mine...
Ironically, there was one sardar manager who saw me and said in Punjabi" Ae nikki jayee kudi ki karegi aithey?" means" What will this small kid do here?"...ha ha ha
He could not believe I was a Product Specialist from World-wide experts team... :)
Watever, it was a biiiiiig fight for survival until Tuesday evening arrived...Appreciation mails were exchanged and I was being applauded for all the stuff I did there...Ah! I remember how I pleaded my manager to let me go home that Monday afternoon after I felt I wud fall down coz of lack of food in my stomach n ofcourse I had no energy...
But to be true I believe everything happens for a reason and tht reason is always good. :) I cribbed a lot for all those 4 days but then I got an unsolicited cutomer feedback mail wherein they appreciated my effort.
So, allz well that ends well... But my manager has not yet learnt his lessons... This guy will never ever realise the importance of his team... lol...
The whole week went by in fixing the issue 360 degrees around and I could not manage time to communicate with all of you...my dear blogger frenz...
I did read all ur blog posts coz as I said, "They keep me going".
Zirelda's everyday post and pictures make me smile. Skeeter's alphabetical series has finally ended and what a journey it was...beautiful posts...
Nidhi's sensitive side, Sneha's poems and Peter's bindaas posts are my daily feeds.
Rahul and Abhinav always have something gr8 to share....
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