Holiday Pangaa!!

My birthday has been really great this year. I spent my last bday crying in my bed but some new frenz made it really special for me.

Ankit's frenz came over and they surprised me with their energy... I had no plans for my bday as such but we went out and had some really good food, came back and grooved to some really cool numbers and later, I dropped them all home. By the time, I reached my place, I was too tired for anything but I stood up late post midnite preparing notes for my class the very next day.

Next day was a hush-mush affair... I realized I had no energy left to carry on with the rest of the day after the class so I hid myself under the blanket,picked up another romance from the book-shelf and slept in the afternoon (against my rules) and woke up to an evening where I heard Dad saying how I don't contribute in the house-work anymore and I got more cranky. I missed my walk coz my leg hurt after all the dancing on my bday and as I see it now, it is not going to heal any day soon. The romance I was reading was so engrossing that I slept over it at night too.

Saturday I woke up really late, fixed some brkfast and later spent the rest of the day reading blogs and replying to comments. While I was helping dad with peas and veggies, a sudden thought just came running to me. I was fantasizing about a luxurious holiday at my favourite place, the forest...the mountains and my eyes almost glowed and I flashed a smile on my own, thinking about a week-long vacation.

I finished what I was doing, rushed to my desk and googled for the Taj Holiday package. I told Sunny abt it and he freaked out.

"Are you crazy or are you depressed?, coz I wud go for a vacation on my own only if I am depressed",he said. I was so taken aback... I am 26.single,independent and working. Is it really insane to expect solitude, a holiday away from the same old work,same old people, same old weight and same old marriage discussions?? I need a break from all of this. Really.

I just need to spend sometime THERE, reading some books, listening to music lying on the misty grass... I would want to just lie down and see the stars forming different patterns at nite. That place was so beautiful, I have been there once but I had no time then, to enjoy every essence of nature that place is made of. The birds, the flowers, the greens and the rains...wow! what a beautiful sight it was...I just want to be there again... This time, all alone...on my own...

But no onez happy abt it at home... they think I shud utilize my 2 weeks of vacation to lose my weight rather than on sight-seeing... I shud visit people who motivate me to lose weight... Mom wants me to go to a relative's place so does the others in the family....

All I want is to go away from the pressures of work and home. I want to go away frm the marriage and weight talk...

Don't I deserve a holiday on my own?? I can't keep waiting for my frenz to accompany me...come on! they are married and who wud want to leave their husbands behind to go seek adventure in the hills with ME...lol.. In that case, shud I wait to get attached or just go my way...

My folks think, I don't go out often...well I have no frenz around now as all of them are married and nobody has the time... and for meeting new women...well, I am not the typical feminine person who wud love to hang around with women who shop for no reason and who live only to please men with jewellery and make-up... I am also not the one to bear with the relatives who keep showing fake concern...

For god's sake... Why can't a gal go on a holiday alone?? I do travel for work... but then why not holiday...?? I can see my frenz and family feeling pity for me... coz they think I am so alone and low that I am heading on a vacation on my own...hahaha...

I find their reactions strange and hilarious... I don't want to make them unhappy but then I don't want to go for a holiday to anyone's house... I want to forget everything for a week or so and just be ME...the ME that I have always been... I want to enjoy the rains...the nature and the peace that this holiday can bring...but sadly, I may not be able to carry on with it...coz I am not someone who wud keep MY things over my family... I am not going to anywhere after I got to know their opinion about the same...

Now I feel so bad about taking an off from office for two weeks... I'd rather worked than taken a vacation for my MBA exams and myself... For the first time in my life, I feel I really have a different bent of mind and a way of thinking as compared to others... I find nothing stupid in travelling or vacationing alone... you cannot wait for someone special to live the life you want to live... How can I miss on something I always wanted to do, only coz I have no company??...Uhuh!

I feel weird about this whole thing and we have some relatives coming home tomorrow(Sunday)... Another round of discussions about my marriage and weight... God save me!!

Damn! I am living in a funny-funny world.... :)