UK Diaries : Nov 26 - Countdown, Hot men and Any demands??

Aha!! Only 3 more days to go... Am I excited?? Ahem! Donno. For the first time in my life, I am feeling weird leaving some place I have been at for work. I think I formed some kinda bond with this place. When I told bhai, " I am not too excited to be back home, donno why?". He replied "Seems, you are ready for marriage now"... LOL Wonders, why does everyone want me to get married?? Anyways, yeh sab baad mein... So now the jerk is nice to me. I am not sure if my manager has talked to his manager or not but I feel I shud tell my manager that this guys is okay with me now. Will do that tomorrow. Although my manager will think I AM A JERK after that, but he shud know. I dont want to trouble anyone anymore. DECIDED!! Revenge is out of picture. I am not going to talk abt it again with my mgr, if he wants to do something abt it, its okay. If he does not, its okay too. I have met some awesome men here( Yeah! Yeah! before you get any ideas, they are all over 40yrs of age and work- pals)... Tomorrow is my last day at work here, so I wrote some THANK YOU cards for them and mentioned what I learnt from each one of them, will give it to them tomorrow. I usually give THANK YOU cards to people who influence my life in some way or the other. I think it is important to let them know that they did, made some difference. :) I met some really HOT men and some really wonderful people here. So paying my thanks to all of them. Koi train mein mila, Koi bus mein... but they have been warm to me. We dont even know each others' names but a simple hello or a smile is how we address each other. I will miss the train journey (that I cribbed abt), the walk up-hill( that I complained abt) and the cold weather (that I always curse)... :D I am not done with any sort of packing as yet. I am completely freaked out, thinking I will have to leave all my Indian clothes behind. Dekhtey hain... Arey haan! kisi ko kuch chahiye yahan se?? *winks*.... Waisey, life kaisi chal rahi hain?? Mast??

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UK Diaries : Nov 22 - Stretching the matter...confusion and conversations

Okay! I have informed my manager and he called me up. I told him I don't intend to cause any harm to the person's reputation or his job. So I asked him to promise me that he will make sure that it does not get THAT escalated. I cannot forgive myself now somewhere deep inside for taking it this far, not cause I am scared. Just becoz I don't want things to get too bad for him. I donno if my manager thinks it has a sexual angle coz he is forcing me again and again to talk to some female managers so I can comfortably talk. What does he mean by that? I already told him what I had to...Still... I am so confused right now... I donno what to do... I told him I dont want to talk abt it again and again... here I am telling my story to so many people to let the message reach the right person... huh! Seriously, somewhere deep down I am feeling, I shud have just not taken it forward... Why do we have a tendency to feel guilty when our actions hurt someone who has hurt us?? :( I dont understand this side of me.. .My head says... he deserves it.. .My heart says.. he is human after all.. Let it be... I feel so caught up in this mess... confrontations..complaints... escalations... is not just ME... But I am left with no choice but to go ahead with it...coz turning back is like eating ur own words... and I cant do that... I wish things get fine.. I wish this wud have never happened... I had my *special* conversation with God and I prayed that things get fine... tomorrow is another day... god knws.. wat's in store... Thanks a lot everyone for helping me out with this.. .I got courage to talk abt it with my seniors only coz I knew that so many people(YOU) believe in me... Thanks a lot :) *may sound cheesy, but it did help*... I know am not posting interesting stuff... but then.. bad times need their share of limeligh too... :D :D... Let's hope things get better... :) Love u ppl.

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UK Diaries : Nov 22 - Nasty fight, Tears and Consequences

Friday 2:11 PM Just had a huge fight with the team's manager and I shouted at him when I could not take it... yeah I did...cant believe tht... But as it always happens, I cried. I cry when I am angry... I had to rush to the washroom after putting up a stern act in front of him... Everyone here thinks I am the strongest... but today, they feel that I am the weakest coz I felt bad when the manager said all those nasty things. Yeah! I did put up a mast fight and finally he had to just give up and walk away. BTW, is crying weak? I don't think so. It is just about the way you react to situations. When I shout at someone or if I am angry, you will always find me crying after it. That does not make you weak. Crying never does make you weak. It means you acknowledge your emotions and you accept them. Whatever happens, you deal with it and you forget about it. As simple as that. I am not justifying it but that's wat I feel... It is completely strong and humane to cry. At least, you are honest enuff to express urself, which is a brave thing to do. I donno what perception people in office will have for me from now on. I heard one of them call me a softy :D.. .yeah right!! come and fight me.. u will get to know..I donno if this guy will gimme my leave or not.. but I have promised myself and told him that I will never work in his team ever... this is the biggest mistake I have done, I told him. Yes. I am in a bad mood. :( Sunday : 11:32 AM I emailed my senior managers about the team manager's rude attitude and they want to discuss it. Now, I don't want to take away someone's job...so I will make sure that things dont get too far. My organization is very strict about respecting women employees and if someone does not abide by the policy, he/she is kicked out. I don't know if I should tell my managers what he actually told me... or shud I just diplomatically handle the whole thing so that he does not get affected. Shit! I would have forgiven him and not sent an email... but he said things like "Kaun sa tumhaari shaadi ho rahi hain jo chutti dun??"... and then did the signature hahaha... huh! and he points his finger at us when he talks... he remarks on our personal plans and credibility. What do I do? Tomorrow is going to be very stressful. This is my last week here and I am into this mess...NOW!! The whole excitement of going back home and stuff has died down coz I am so bothered by this incident. I really pray that everything goes smooth and he does not lose his job. I will try my best to make sure that things are fine for him. :( Theek hain...watever he said...he has a family too... What do you guys say?

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UK Diaries - Nov 17 - Black Dress,Dumbass and Ajab Prem Ki...

Reporting from office... Saturday was not fun as I had to say bye to my gud dost, as she left for her internship to Mumbai... I started missing her the moment she said bye... So, I thought I will get drunk on coffee and waste myself eating tortilla chips (ummm i love them) in her yaad (please do not assume that I LOVE her...okay! assume... :D) but to no use. I stepped out to buy grocery in a weird mood... parrrrrrrr... there was a cute Indian guy at the TESCO counter... we talked a lil bit and he was so nervous but very cute ;) Just like Hugh Jackman is... perfect comobo of cute+sexy. As dumb as I am, I did not ask him for his name.. I did not tell mine either...and I came back home feeling stupid. Par.. I am sure ek aur chance milega ;) Sunday : I continued wasting myself and the time, even when I had an important package to fill. I know, I shud be feeling guilty for it but I hate doing it... :( I sulked a bit and then I decided -- fuck sadness... I went out and shopped AGAIN!! I bought amazing collection of lingerie, nightwear, bags, jumpers... and a black dress... ummmmm... I almost fell in love with myself when I tried it on... :D I came back home happy... tried the dress again and pouted in front of the mirror. I loved myself in it. I saw "Weird Prem ki Strange Isshtory" and I cud see that Ranbir carried the movie on his tender shoulders :P I loved it. Although it was over-the-top, but for the more serious shit we have hollywood... Bollywood is abt enjaaying... ;) Monday was kinda okay until the Mgr arrived.. I am gonna call him Ass :D So, Mr. Ass does not know anything as is a peculiar trait of 95% of managers but he asks a lot. Un-necessary questions... huh! I explain things to him for hrs and then he comes back to me and asks the same question he asked before the explanation... I feel like hiding under the table, jumping my way out of the window... hitting him with a frying pan... but I fight all those negatives back and AVOID any conversation with him... In short, yahan logon ko kuch nahi pata... aur sab mere dimaag ka dahi kar rahein hain... jis becharon ko pata hain.. unki koi value nahi hain... Few more weeks and I am back home... :) So wenever life kicks my ass, I am like... "Yeah! Okay! I am gonna be home soon".... :D How was it for u guys?? kuch masala tha kya iss weekend mein??

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UK Diaries 14 Nov : Playboy,Train,Stalker and Tree.

A man in the train almost shocked me when he opened the papers in the morning, he sat opposite me and we were sharing the same table. He kept staring at a stark-naked life-size playboy model for 20 mins by clock and I was so uncomfortable with the whole thing. He gave a nasty smile when our eyes crossed for a moment. I was like "Yeah! dude. You think you are smart". Saala! Pervert.

That is just one thing about last Monday, another is my train broke down on the first station and we had only 35 seconds to run and catch another one. I still dont remember how I managed it. Ek toh Monday upar se yeh!! For everyone who assumes, pardes mein trains kharaab nahi hoti... Wake up! Harshita Jahaan, Musibat Wahaan!! hehe..Jokes apart, I think apni India Rail Service iss maamley mein mast hain. My train broke down twice in a week, a disaster it is. :)

I have cancelled my London ka plan almost 3 times now and God knows, if I'll get to go there. Yahan, I thought will go out and see around. Par, every weekend it rains poora din almost and its so cold... Koi faayda nahi... :)

Office mein, theek hain sab... Usual stuff... I met a weird person a week back, he played very smart, flirted intelligently and complimented me so much that I got all hassled. Finally, I had to tell him, "See, you dont need to say all that to me, I am good with the truth but for god's sake stop acting smart. I have caught you in the act so, be genuine." He was astonished at it. :) Well, I had to tell him that I know these "you are different, never met someone like you, you will go places, you are smart, you talk well, you are so by the book...etc"... So told him, try something new ;)

Now, there have been times when he is walking next to me and I dont realise and it is so weird that I look to my right and he is walking with me. When I ask him with that What-are-you-upto, dude- look, he smiles and says, "I have been walking with you for past 5-10 mins and you were thinking abt something so I did not disturb". I dont talk to him when he walks with me, I am all engrossed in my book, ipod and this guy still talks to me and walks with me. Isn't he weird?? :P

I think he will get sense soon. We just chatted one day in the train on our way back and I talked abt India and he talked abt US. I am a desi and he is a Wallstreet guy :D I wonder why does he want to talk to me?? Let's see. I am sure he got the message. I like smart conversations but then, as he says, that he is not stalking me, atleast he is being weird. Isn't he?

I went out aaj shaam mein and there is a big christmas tree next to my apartment. It was dark n raining so the pics I clicked are not too gud... :) I love the christmas feel in the air. Although, being desi, I am more into Diwali, Holi, Lohri than Christmas...

I donno if it was interesting week or not. But next week is sure going to be boring. My very good friend will not be in touch for a month and she is a huge support here as she is almost 18 hrs online everyday to make me feel that I have someone around. :) Another friend has taken temporary sanyaas frm internet ki duniya...

Par, akeley hain toh kya gham hain... ;) Aur.. kaisi kat rahi hain life?? I am replying to the comments of last post...ab...

arey haan! happy bachcha logon ka din.. ;)

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UK Diaries - Nov 9 - News Mania/Anger

Wow! today reading thru 'The Times of India' site amazed me. MNS guys hit SP' Abu Azmi for taking his oath in hindi. Arey yaar! by gawd, mujhey toh iss sab nonsense pe bahut gussa aata hain... WTH is this? Hindi ho, marathi ho yaa Telugu yaa apni koi bhi language, humaari marzi, we have the fundamental right to speak the way and the language that we want to...Huh! I really have started hating these morons. Koi kaam dhaam nahi, ghar se nikaltey hain, kisi ki thukai karney ke liye bas. Bloody Goondas! Do thappas lagaaney chahiye aisey logon ko, ek din mein akal aa jaayegi... Another interesting piece is, Mr. Manu Sharma, the great killer of Jessica, is on parole and he was found partying at a nightclub. THIS is what life is. Poor will suffer for stealing chai-paani and Ameer-guys will party after murdering a jeeta jaagta insaan. Wah rey India!! Wah rey System!!Well, ab main itni koi saadhu mahatma toh hun nahi.. waisey bhi life ki band baji hain... feels like, its better if I kill that guy. :D Hadd hain, by gawd. Ek aur feather(pankha) in the cap is that, according to World Economic Forum India ranks 134th on the Man-Woman equality list. Ahem! obvious hain waisey toh... par sad bhi... :( When Manu-the man, can kill Jessica- the woman, over a drink, kuch bhi ho sakta hain... We boast of domestic violence, rapists, violence against women and girl child and I believe secretly India -the country cries in shame sometimes.hmmph... I always tell my train partner ki subah subah news paper matlab depression ka full dose. Yaa toh BP badd jaata hain yaa morale ghat jaata hain..Khair, I am toh completely disgusted with the news for today. Nothing much exciting in office but yeah! I love playing with Kabootar log at the station... :) I bought 6 books last nite(Emma,Brida,The Associate,Twilight,Time Traveller's Wife and one UK ka local author) for which I spent 30 pounds and Prachi tells me "Ki dilli mein toh 400 mein pirated copied mil jaayengi"... and she is right. But then, I told her that I need them right now.She was sweet enuff to tell me, toh fir bindaas pado..socho mat :D :D There was some amount of snowfall in my office town and the temperature today is 3 degrees. I bought two coats but none of them helps :P Wahi puraani ghisi peeti kahaani... lol Arey yaar!! how was ur weekend?? Mast kya??

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UK Diaries - Nov 8 - Love, Sex or both??

Yeah! right. Another movie, another thought process and some more questions. I saw "Lie with me" yesterday and well, from all the reviews I read, I thought it wud have an intense love-centred storyline and it did have one, but then it is also one of those movies that critics would pass off as porn. It ain't porn in the first place, I would say its more graphic. The characters are messed-up people, but the message (even if they did not want to convey any) was clear.No matter what, at the end of it all emotions do matter. Be it a man or woman, after series of senseless sex sessions, everyone craves for feelings somewhere. I assume that it is already a long running debate. If you ask a guy/gal, "how abt casual sex?", they will jump out saying "yeah! works for me"... but then you ask them for how long... and they wud never tell you forever. Coz its also not abt relationships,casual or watever, its about basic needs. The way sex works for your hormones, emotions work for YOU. As in the movie, the couple starts with casual sex but their lives get interwined and things get complicated coz at the end of it all, you need concern,care and yeah! the overrated word as they call it, LOVE. So, if you have to choose between love or sex, am sure sex will have more votes,for now. But I think, its both that help strengthen a relationship. After all, you cant survive on sex alone, all your life, unless you are an addict... but then you need rehab, dont you? :) What do you guys say abt that? Is it one of the two or is it the mix and match of both??

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UK Diaries - Nov 7 - Love or Luck??

12 mid-nite : I have just finished watching the movie "Forces of nature", it is really really unpredictable. A guy meets a wonderful, full of life woman on his way to his marriage, he falls for her but then at the end of it all, he goes back and gets married to the woman he committed to. It gave a message that its all abt faith, there is no one who is perfectly made for u. You gotta keep faith and it works. Sorry! I dont agree with whoever has penned down that theory. I think there is ofcourse someone whoz there for you and its nt abt faith or luck, its just abt love. I donno, I may be wrong for the most of us....but I do believe that more than luck and keeping faith and just giving into committments, it is abt honesty... it is abt how honest u r about whom you love. I wud not prefer spending my life with someone wearing a mask of faith and luck, that would be so dishonest. Won't it be? Movie left me confused... I thought he wud go with the gal he loved but at the end of it all, he says he loves the woman he is going to marry.. I was like, go get a life dude... We are way past 50s, dont cheat on someone u claim to love and most of all, dont cheat urself. It is all abt love at the end of it all... Honest love... that's it. I dont want to take it as a gamble, I'd rather take it as what I want and ofcourse, to flatter myself, what I deserve. So when your heart says"he/she is the one".. go for it... come on!! there is just one life and so much love to share :) Sounds corny, right?? :) Does that one make some sense?? :D If it doesn't, dont bother... Just something that came to my mind after the movie. More abt the nightmare friday in next post. :)

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UK Diaries - Nov 3 - Happy Tuesday. :)

1 PM at office : Everyone has gone for lunch and here I am sitting at my desk, lazily typing the criss-crossing thoughts in my mind. Systems are all down, I wonder if they are paying me to write diaries here?? Anyways, so Tuesday morning began with a beautiful song and an equally beautiful sight. It was raining when I stepped out of the house and finally, I cud make use of my new umbrella ;) Although it did not help much, coz my bag was still drenched. It is wonderful walking in the rain, thumping ur feet lightly on the wet ground and feeling the mist in the air. Bahut shayari ho gayi... :D :D It was really really cold.. but then I say that everyday... I sat at my pet corner in the train and read thru the novel, smiling to myself and at times looking at the rain-rinsed glass. Also, there is this Indian/Paki (not sure) guy who boards the train from a station next to mine. Looks at me when am talking but avoids eye contact, as if I will eat him up. ;) I think Indians repulse Indians outside India... waisey India mein bhi toh?? *wonders*. He is cute waisey, let it be. I was less lazier as compared to other days, I really donno why. I indulged in some animated coversations with a couple of people, expressed my disgust with the work and heard theirs. In short, I gossiped *haww*, abhi realise hua. :D :D I am hooked to Tortilla Chips now, no matter how, when, where, I love them. Yes, Mom I drink milk too everyday coz you asked me to. :P Nothing masaledaar was happening until my manager mailed me about my expenses.Seems, he wants to have a discussion, which in other words means that there is some bad news :D and he loves giving them on Fridays. So we have a meeting on Friday. 7:00 PM : (In the comfort of my apartment, sipping on coffee) - Train journey was nice today. I was smiling on my way back from the station and I donno why... just tht I think I was happy. I think I AM HAPPY.. :) Wow! that's not so difficult naa... its all abt how u want to be... I cud not stay sad for long... Sadness sucks!! So, mast se rehney ka... ;) ciao! and BTW, pehla din tha umbrella ka... aur ek hi din mein uski chutti ho gayi...LOL...It could not handle the wind and collapsed... :P Kya comedy hain life ki by gawd...hehehe

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UK Diaries - Nov 2 - Surprise Monday :D

1:16 PM Monday...Oye Monday... By gawd! sometimes I feel Monday bechara, log kitni gaali detey hain isey...fir bhi besharam har week wapas se aa jaata hain... Last nite, I had a long chat with one of my close friends and time just went by. I slept at 2 am coz as I said earlier, The heater is a cheater :( and I kept forcing myself to sleep and finally I made a pact with me "Okay! Harshita dont panic, if you are late, you can catch a cab to office" and finally I think my mind was convinced and I slept till 5:30 am or so. With around 4 hrs of sleep, I was so scared to begin the day. I already imagined falling asleep in the train and missing my station or not being able to walk all the way to office. :D :D I am so over-dramatic at times... :D Anyways, so I decided to read a book to shoo away the Monday negativity in the train and I picked up "Bridget Jones-Edge of Reason". Somehow I have started to relate to her but then in bits and pieces coz she is 50 times more dramatic than me. :) and then as Mads says that I dont booze and smoke and I am not desperate to get married... I think I am not like her at all.So I think it will be a good read. Let's see. There are lot of new faces in office. It may sound nasty, bitchy and mean, but finally there is someone who's bigger than me. *Fat Psychology : If u see someone fatter than you, you feel relieved and beautiful*. Donno if that makes sense to anyone. So, the new arrivals are telugu women and they are sitting next to me. They keep talking n talking n talking....hehe but I am wearing my protection gear (Barney style), and btw before you assume anything, protection gear refers to IPOD here. So I have plugged in my earfones (Wonders if it will turn me deaf) and I am working. The servers will be away on LUNCH again for two hours so I am idle till 2 pm UK time and I thought why not write the diary. Saturday was a demonstration here, police...security copters...everything made the atmosphere very tense, so I stayed at home. Sunday, I planned to go out, par it rained whole day long.Finally I took a walk at nite but it was so eerie... that I had to run back home...also it started raining. :) Aur haan! my team members tell me that they faced racist abuse this Sunday at the hands of a couple of Britishers. It is horrifying to hear but then I also have faced something weird this Saturday evening, so I can understand. Hope you guys had a great weekend... Its 1:30 and I am waiting for it to be 5 pm and I will run to the station. :P More tomorrow... Have fun and masti maaro!! Added at 4:30 : I think its yesterday's rain...I am sneezing...aaaaaachoooo!! I have a bad headache and in a short while I will leave office. I think I will just crash in the bed for an hour before I cook dinner and tomorrow's lunch.

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