Rules : Band Bajaane ka superhit formula :P

As I usually begin my posts with -- a lot has been happening all these days.. I begin this one too with the same :D

First and foremost thing is that my ever so calm and shaant Mom came up with a list of rules that she presumed will turn her KOMOLIKA isshtyle daughter toTULSI-PARVATI isshtyle ones. Khe khe...

I found them all amusing so here I share them with my own special tadka and my masaaledar take on them. :) :)

RULE 1 : You MUST in all scenarios follow the stated rules else you can face eviction from the house.*I shivered thinking about no increment policy at work place and soaring rents*

RULE 2 : You should get up at 5 am every day excluding Sundays, although if you do get up at 5 on Sundays you can escape the constant bickering about your weight and marriage. I was like, Mom but that's mid-nite.

RULE 3 : Getting up at 5 am is not enough, so you should wear your running shoes and venture out in the Dilli ki Sardi. I looked at mom and had that "What are you talking about??" - look. LOL!! and the kinda looks I got in return, can't mention.

RULE 4 : Now walking is not enuff so you should come back and do some jumping here and there , a lil twist, a lil Yoga coz weightloss does not come easy.I was like, " Mom, are you sure I am you real daughter??"

RULE 5 : Now if all the other rules were not enuff to drive me to the heights of madness. Hear this one out : You should take bath every morning after your blah blah torturous regime *exercise* in the dead cold :| :| .I faked a fainting spell when I heard that one.

RULE 6 : You should in all scenarios cook your own breakfast and if possible cook for everyone else. I was like - Ahem! Ahem! Bring it on, Mom.

RULE 7 : You should contribute in house-work time and again. I looked at her with surprise written all over my face and I said "But Maa, I always help, you dont need to make it a rule. Anyways, I don't Work FROM Home, I kinda Work FOR Home" and she gave me the silent waala look.:P :P

RULE 8 : YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE FOUND DOING THINGS THAT MEAN - YOU ARE WORKING TOWARDS WEIGHT-LOSS. *yawns*

RULE 9 : You should not be caught eating Bhujia or any other thing that you like and that tastes good. I was like "Yeah! Mom. I know. It is confirmed. I am not your real daughter"

RULE 10 : You should not criticize a prospective groom just because he wears a COWBOY hat while he clicks himself in his bedroom. Fine!! I puked and Happy Singh looked at me, as if he was telling me "Gal, you are finished".

RULE 11 : You should never talk back when a relative gives you weight-loss tips. *I wanted to say something but then I was like forget it*

RULE 12 : You should never make faces when auntiji, massiji, dadiji, behanji aur whoever asks you about your marriage or recommends it. Just smile. *I stood up from the bed and I was like No No... Where is my mom??" -- "Dad where is mom??", I asked.

RULE 13 : You should never crack jokes like - I love babies, I always wanted to have them but mom said, u shud get married first. Such jokes are not good for
your reputation and prospective marriage proposals. I was like now she, who looks like mom, hates my jokes.

RULE 14 : You should wear formals even if you work from home and get your eyebrows n waxing sessions done every 30 days. I imagined myself shouting and screaming for life. :( :(

RULE 15 : You should act all coy, calm and sophisticated. You should never be caught using the F word, Saala and By gawd band baja gaya :| :|. I said" By gawd maa, mera toh band hi bajaa diya aapney".

Well, I could not afford to hear anymore rules, so I said... Mom watever you like, I'll do. In my mind " Bas! Bas! Bas! Ab aur nahi sahaa jaata" :P

I am still searching for the person who prepared this whole act for mom. Coz MY mom is so calm, peaceful and all she does is blame God :P "Rabb main aisa ki kitta ki eho jayee kudi ditti mainnu" LOL!!

I think the Pados waali Aunty has done it all... Will have to bhadkaaofy her son against marriage now :P :P