Out of the Clutches

I opened my Yahoo Mailbox just like that after almost 2 days and while I was busy deleting all the Astrology Mails and some job-alerts, I came across a name I had never forgotten ofcourse, I had to run thru the Inbox twice to make sure it was HER.

"What?She has mailed me... that too, a reply to some social site invite I sent....Ah! Weird. Why wud I do that? Why now?" I had mailed her couple of times 2yrs back but she never responded then, why wud I ever send her an invite again....I am not the one to cling to people who usually don't bother to stay frenz. I opened the email thinking it wud be her telling me, not to send her such crap on her official id as she does not give a damn if I exist or not...I selected the mail without reading it and almost clicked on delete, when something stopped me and I thought,"Watever, even if it spoils my day. Let me see how much anguish does she hold even now?"(Typical curiosity of mine)

I opened the mail and read thru it, it talked abt how she thinks that I did not send the request but she got it by some fault on the networking site, but still she accepted it and if I wud want I cud delete it.I was like,"OK"...and As I proceed further she wrote abt how she sent me an invite too but it never reached me. Later she metioned that if I was still reading the mail and did not plan to delete it before reading the rest, she wud like me to knw that we both had differences and were angry at each other but now she thought we shud forget it and start as frenz again as frenz do fight but they get back together.

I was completely amazed at her reaction or let me say action.

Its been 2 yrs eversince I left THE city after a series of ditches and back-stabbing stuff to get my life together. We became frenz in the same city and later,many things followed. Usual misuderstandings, some difference of opinions, some immature stuff and things I wud rather not think abt now. I lost a lot...a lot...as I already talked abt in my earlier posts.I tried getting in touch with her even after she left India but she did not respond and I am not one of those people who love to beg for attention. Damn! I have some ego ;)Watever, its past now and it made me learn a lot. I promised myself 2 yrs back I wud never let anything or anyone frm those 2 yrs come back to me.

One thing I learnt and talked abt in my earlier posts too is acceptance. I accepted a lot in past 2 years but few things I cud not accept. What she did ,was one of them.But, I told myself after reading this mail,"You have two choices, let it be jus like that n hold on to the past or Mail her back and forgive watever happened and accept it". I chose the latter.I chose to move on and forgive. I accepted my mistakes and hers too in our friendship and I decided to mail her back.

I did. I wrote to her what I truly felt coz until then even I did not know what I truly felt.I still thought I had grudges and a few seconds of soul-searching did it for me.They say,"Sometimes it takes 30 seconds to decide what you want". I know I want peace, peace with myself and want to get rid of the feeling of being unforgiving and holding grudges.I told her that I wished best for her and she had all my support and wishes. The person of extremes that I am, I know I will always be there for her. Life is funny, it all comes back to you someday.

Frankly, therez nothing as peaceful as unburdening oneself from past. I did away with some part of it and I feel great. Its a gr8 feeling to forgive, to accept and to welcome frenz back in ur life. I may or may not be as pally with her as I was but I am sure we both can be frenz.

I hope this will help me in moving a step forward in life and not a step back. Great! I have left some part of my past behind and I feel lighter...Much lighter.

The past is out of my clutches rather I wud say I am out of the past's clutches.