For the last time, one more time.

The recent incidents have kept me glued to the television but more than that it has left a positive person like me stressed out and feeling really really low. I am such a patriot...I can't help but take it all so badly on me... :( I don't feel like seeing news channels, read papers and visit the blogs who talk abt the deadly incident..I am sorry for that but then...I am a sensitive citizen of the country... I just cannot tolerate the blood-shed and injustice done to the innocent people. I am fighting at home, crying for the people and feeling guilty. I have not slept well for past 60 hrs...I am either glued to TV or dreaming abt the mishap all this while. Once I got to know its over, I took a sigh of relief but then those funeral scenes made me so sick...that I have not eaten well and I am almost at the verge of throwing up as I type. This is may be my LAST post about this... coz nopes... I cannot stand it anymore. I never thought something would affect me so badly... I am questioning my job and my role towards my country... "Okay! I pay taxes...what else??".I feel like leaving my job and devoting myself completely to the country in some way... I am getting these so-called STRANGE IDEAS. I donno what I will do about it. Only coz I am too lazy to study long, I skipped IAS else in most of my interviews I have been told I should not WASTE myself in IT... I donno whats that supposed to mean...but then I have been told the same by many people... One of them was a DGP(J&K region)... No use thinking abt it now. I had so many plans for a 2-week leave I was about to take... Now, I donno what will I do with that time... So for the last time (maybe) I am writing about this... and I am really sorry guys, I did not read or comment on the posts related to this incident... Not that I am a coward...I just need sometime to let it all sink-in. I have stayed at Taj Hotels and this one just shook me so much that I know, it will take sometime for me to accept the loss our country and all those innocent people and families have faced... It will take time for me to accept that LIFE INDEED IS TOO SHORT... uhuh!! and PEOPLE ARE SO BRUTAL... This post is not intended to gain sympathy,advice or to depress you guys... Just that this is what am feeling right now and I can't help it. I will be back to my usual self in SOME time... I donno how long itz gonna take though... Take Care Guys... and Live it up every moment... coz life is too short to let it go un-lived and un-noticed.