Dowry or No Dowry

With the "Accept it" discussion taking its toll on Twinkle, Mom interrupted with her usual " How to find the right guy for my daughter?" stuff. And there started a long discussion about why she has almost given up on me...and that she can never understand that being a gal(that too a 25 yr old Indian gal), I am not ready for marriage.... :( Well, I have no explanations for the same, I just dont feel like getting married right now and she thinks this feeling may not come for next 5 years too and then I will not find the right groom...Ah! the usual Indian-Mom theory... So they(Mom and Twinkle) started the discussion with the marriage stuff and we reached a point which Mom dreads the most....they started discussing abt dowry...and she knows I am so against it.. They made a point that watever parents give as dowry or gifts in their daughter's marriage is for her security and happiness...and my point is I earn enuff to pay my bills, buy myself stuff I want to, donate to charity and invest, then why do they need to pay dowry... When I tell my mom that I will scare away a guy and his family if they ask for dowry...she is like so upset abt it...and the worst is when she insists tht it is their concern and not mine...I have a simple fundaa : I tell her I will run away from the marriage ...lol...(thts the last resort I have). She cant believe that she has a daughter who has ideologies that test her patience most of the times... She is anyways not happy that she is not able to find the right match for me and then when I tell her about my principles, she freaks out. They say, it is a part of our custom that the bride's parents spend some 3 millions on the gold and gifts that are to be given to the in-laws and the family...and well. the marriage arrangements have a separate cost... I have few questions here : 1. Will I wear some diamond-studded sandals/shoes/watever to work after marriage? Nopes, I will not. 2. Will I ever wear the 1 kg of gold, that my mom will give me? Nopes, I hardly wear any jewellery to work or in my daily routine. 3. Will I ever drive the car that she plans to give me? Nopes, I have my own car. 4. Will I ever wear the sarees weighing 2kgs each ? Nopes, the probability is you will find me 6 days a week in a Churidaar or Jeans/cottons. 5. Will I ever respect the guy who drives the car my dad gave, who cant afford simple home furnishing stuff for his house even when I am ready to contribute, whose wardrobe is 70% what he got in dowry...and a guy who lives on the easy money and stuff he got from my dad...?? Nopes, never....I'd rather travel by bus than use that car and I am fine with what I can earn and he can contribute... 6. Will I ever be able to accept the custom of dowry? Nopes...never. In short, I love to live with dignity and I think what matters in a relationship is respect and trust. If am not able to respect the person,m going to spend my rest of life with, its never gonna work for me.... and respect has to be earned as they say...and I think a self-made man deserves all the appreciation and respect in the world... Why live on someone else's mercy when you can make it on ur own? No matter what Mom and Twinkle have to say, I think dowry shud be boycotted and if Mom being a teacher, Dad being a responsible and educated tax-paying citizen and others in the country do not take the step, we will never be able to completely eradicate this bane from the Indian Society... And if not for the society, atleast for my sake they shud not indulge in it....Dad is dead against receiving gifts and so is Mom, I have seen them standing up for it...but why when it comes to their daughter they want to compromise with their principles and endorse dowry.... Mom, Dad : Its not about you taking dowry or not....its abt you giving it too...If you really wanna stand up for it...you shud not give dowry in my marriage...Else Mom, I am gonna run away.... and you knw am serious.... coz I knw your emotional blackmail works wonders for you in such crucial times.. I love you Guys and I wud not need anything apart from your love and blessings in my marriage...thats all... And for the in-laws to-be...if they really need someone else to pay for their life...they better get a life... :) No offences meant to anyone...