Harshita Unplugged

Hello hain ji I have never been interviewed before, except for jobs. So when Gaurav asked me for an interview for his blog, I was like "Are you mad?" LOL!! Still he somehow managed to extract answers from me. All I can promise you is this is not the run-of-the-mill sorta interview, he REALLY did ask me question that I never expected he wud ask... It was fun and I did not think much before answering any of the questions. Jo mann mein aaya bol daala... Herez the link for the same, if you think you wanna read it : Harshita Unplugged Baaki mast rehney ka :) :) Ciao!! I am off to reading sabke blogs ab.. coz bahut miss ho gaya...

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Treat her like a Lady.

I wonder what gives a man, the right to hit a woman. I really have been talking abt it a lot, but then this is something that needs to be addressed. If not the earlier generation, atleast ours and the coming generation should pay heed to this. There was a time I used to think(I was 13 then) that if you are taller and bulkier as compared to a guy, you can always fight back but as I grew up, I understood that by design and by rule, men are physically stronger when it comes to the gripping and hitting strength and women are stronger more in the resilience and emotional sense. Women can take as much as you give them... be it your love or be it your hurt. Naah! nothing abt feminism here. Its just a general take on this issue. I donno how many have you seen a woman being physically battered or beaten up in your life... I wud say Good if you have not... I wud say Good even if you have... coz in the later case...atleast you know the REAL side of the world you live in. My point is NOTHING justifies hitting a woman... Be a MAN for God's sake and stop this nonsense. You think we cannot retaliate... Remember for us our relationships are more important than the agony we feel. Psychologically, it is said that a woman in the long run accepts domestic violence as a part of her life. She thinks "may be something is wrong with me". Most of us keep thinking, "It will not happen to me" but I fear almost 70% of the women in India go through this either before or after marriage. Women tend to give in to an abusive relationship calling it their fate. Make sure you help someone who is going through this by talking to them about it and making them speak up for their basic right, the right to live happily...and like a human. That's all I had to say for today... :) Hope you guys are doing awesome...

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Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi....Ki har khwahish pe dum nikle...

Itz about a lot of things this time. Marriage : People keep asking me WHY? HOW?... Why dont u want to get married right now? How long do you plan to keep living like this? I say, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Shaadi ka itna shauk hain, apni kar lo, dusri baar :P Hehe... and How ka toh yeh hain ki meri life hain, mujhye kya karna hain, mujhey pata hain.Some people assume that I had a nasty break-up and I am still vying for someone. Some think I am in love and cant say. I am like, Guys, apney kaam se kaam rakhkho. Pakaao mat. I am not the ones who wud let my love go away and then sip on vodka in his yaad :D :D LOL!! So if any of you is planning to ask me this question.. .DONT is my advice. Work : Donno what manager is upto, so cant say much. The UK ka manager is pissing me off big time and I am doing the same to him. No manager knows what work to assign. Weight : Nothing much happening there. I run for some time on the treadmill. I lose my breath, I lose my interest and if someone forces me or tries to restrict me to do it, I get completely frozen at my place. I DONT do the things that are asked to be done. May be I am in one of those nasty phases. Friends : I have made some, I have lost some. I am way past the age when I'll try to pretend to win frenz. If you like me and understand me the way I am, I am good. Else you really deserve someone better. I will still help the people I want to, even if they are not frenz for me anymore. Books : I am reading EMMA right now paperback and 2 states too. One is romance another is weird n comic :D Twitter : I am hooked to twitter but I have met some weird ppl there too. Since I get bored of people and things easily, I may just give up on it soon. Pata nahi :| Sense of Humor : As you can make out from the post, it has taken a backseat. Atleast for today. People : I dont understand them. They change without any warnings. Realized, koi kisi ke liye kuch bhi kar le, hamesha kamm padd jaata hain. Money : I have lost a lot of it this time. Will take time to make this amount of money again. Job : I am planning to switch careers and not just the job. May be do some course in WRITING and learn more and take it up full-time. :) UK: I realise I loved the place and I miss it. Blog : I missed mine and I missed urs ;) Kya challing??

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Soulmates and Dark Night

I won't be lying if I say that I had no intentions of coming back to the blog. Pata nahi kyun?? I was bored of writing abt me... *Zyada muskuraao mat* I can see u guys giving me that "So finally u realised-look". :D Life seems to have come to a stand-still once again. I think I got so used to staying alone in these 2 months that I am finding the whole working from home business weird. Ho sakta hain, things will change with time. I donno. Pehle toh naa, Thanks a lot to everyone for the birthday wishes. :) I had a great bday this year. Mom-dad ke saath Wake-up sid dekhi. :P I have been reading "Brida" authored by Paulo Coelho, it talks about how life is a dark night where we donno what happens next and still we keep moving on. We all are living life the way we walk thru a dark night. Hmm... uhumm.. kinda true. I think this is something that keeps the excitement going. Also, it talked about Soulmates. How every person has one.. Being the hardcore romantic that I am, I nodded my head in agreement. :P (as if he cud see..lol) One thing I strongly agree with in this book is that when you love without trying to own someone, you have nothing to lose and then is the time, when you love completely, fully and honestly. :) Has anyone ever experienced this side of love?? Aisa hota hain kya?? Anyways, I am going to start reading EMMA by Jane Austen now. I hope its good. What are you guys reading??

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UK Diaries : THE FINAL CHAPTER - Comedy Circus

Nov 28th was a hush hush visit to London. Got up at 5 am, took a train to King's Cross and walked a lot... :) I planned to take a BIG BUS TOUR there and it all worked well. I was back to Leeds by late evening.London does live upto its name of a good holiday destination. It was fascinating. So I started packing on 29th and as expected I had a lot of extra stuff so ran in the rain to buy a new suitcase. Packed till late nite on 29th, did not sleep, got ready at 2 am in the morning on 30th and rushed to catch my flight. Paid for extra luggage :|. Fun is that all the passengers in the flight from Amsterdam were Indians and mainly Ludhiana, Amritsar and Patiala-bound... Why I mentioned it is that a couple of funny things happened...Pehle toh a sardarji (who seemed to be well educated) started fighting with a guy 1/3rd of his size over the hand-baggage space. In his words "Main apna bag tere sarr pe rakhun kya?". I was a lil taken aback with his gunda gardi... aur haan!! awesome is somebody stole a woman's make-up kit and her cosmetics from the handbaggage security counter :D :D and the woman kept announcing in Punjabi abt it and well, we all cud not help but laugh at the irony of the situation. Phoren ghoomney aa gaye par kuch logon ki aadat nahi badli dusron ka samaan uthaaney ki woh bhi make-up kit:P Finally the guy sitting next to me was a theth haryanvi and he pretended to be oh-so-cool with me and I ignored him and slept with my mouth open (signature isshtyle)... I am sure that was enuff of a turn-off for him. Another guy next to him, got compeltely drunk on the flight and kept blabbering abt how awesome and rich he was... :) One thing I never understand is, ki jab flight rukti hain... and the crew specifically mentions that please remain seated... people wud stand up start picking their luggage as if they can bang open the plane doors. I asked my copassenger-- "Do you need to take ur hand bag right now or we can wait till the door opens?".. he replied -- "madam, laagey hain aap abhi bhi US mode mein ho... ghaney rule follow karey ho"... hahaha.. Mainey socha beta... nikal gayi herogiri... aa gaye apni pey... :D I said-- "naah! aap aaram se bheed mein jaaiye aur dhakka khaaiye, I have no issues, par tameez India mein bhi bahut hain, uskey liye US mode mein nahi aana padta"... :P Dekho yaar, I toh ji love India par koi chori karey toh grrrrr... Airport pe a guy from the ground staff zabardasti offered his help with my luggage, I told him ki koi zarurat nahi.. fir bhi... and later, after dropping the trolley off at the parking he says with a greedy look "madam chai paani"... Mera paara chadd gaya.. I said -- "pehle toh I did not ask u to help me.. dusri baat mujhey lagaa apni duty kar rahey ho... aur teesri baat pehle boltey paisey logey toh main manaa nahi karti par CHORI mat karo... Dikhaawa kar rahey they help karney ka aur mann mein chor"... toh woh bola-- "zabardasti nahi hain"... I said --"Koi faayda nahi..chori chori hain.. yeh lo paisey aur agli baar aisey dhokha mat karna kisi ke saath, sach bolkey help karogey toh bhi koi manaa nahi karega"... Saara mood kooda ho gaya mera... I donno wat u guys think abt it par I cant stand wen ppl take u for a ride... Saala! Khair... mom-dad se milkey bahut mazaa aaya aur chaa se bhi... I told them dher saari kahaaniya abt my trip, abt the help karney waala chor and the ladney waaley sardarji :D Ghar aayi.. realised my 600 euros were missing... fir realised ki Novel mein rakhkhey they... 3 ghantey dhoonda and found it... huh! Everyone is happy abt their gifts.. so it means all shopping and suffering is worth it :P Par ab meri gold ring kho gayi jo mom ne di thi... ghar mein hi kahin.. I am so tired of searching for it... upar se ajeeb sa jet-lag...Fir bhi...;) khushi ki baat yeh hain ki.. I am back home with my family and happy-rustam... :) Welcome home, Harshita!! Aur ji aap sabkey kya haal??

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UK Diaries : Nov 26 - Countdown, Hot men and Any demands??

Aha!! Only 3 more days to go... Am I excited?? Ahem! Donno. For the first time in my life, I am feeling weird leaving some place I have been at for work. I think I formed some kinda bond with this place. When I told bhai, " I am not too excited to be back home, donno why?". He replied "Seems, you are ready for marriage now"... LOL Wonders, why does everyone want me to get married?? Anyways, yeh sab baad mein... So now the jerk is nice to me. I am not sure if my manager has talked to his manager or not but I feel I shud tell my manager that this guys is okay with me now. Will do that tomorrow. Although my manager will think I AM A JERK after that, but he shud know. I dont want to trouble anyone anymore. DECIDED!! Revenge is out of picture. I am not going to talk abt it again with my mgr, if he wants to do something abt it, its okay. If he does not, its okay too. I have met some awesome men here( Yeah! Yeah! before you get any ideas, they are all over 40yrs of age and work- pals)... Tomorrow is my last day at work here, so I wrote some THANK YOU cards for them and mentioned what I learnt from each one of them, will give it to them tomorrow. I usually give THANK YOU cards to people who influence my life in some way or the other. I think it is important to let them know that they did, made some difference. :) I met some really HOT men and some really wonderful people here. So paying my thanks to all of them. Koi train mein mila, Koi bus mein... but they have been warm to me. We dont even know each others' names but a simple hello or a smile is how we address each other. I will miss the train journey (that I cribbed abt), the walk up-hill( that I complained abt) and the cold weather (that I always curse)... :D I am not done with any sort of packing as yet. I am completely freaked out, thinking I will have to leave all my Indian clothes behind. Dekhtey hain... Arey haan! kisi ko kuch chahiye yahan se?? *winks*.... Waisey, life kaisi chal rahi hain?? Mast??

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UK Diaries : Nov 22 - Stretching the matter...confusion and conversations

Okay! I have informed my manager and he called me up. I told him I don't intend to cause any harm to the person's reputation or his job. So I asked him to promise me that he will make sure that it does not get THAT escalated. I cannot forgive myself now somewhere deep inside for taking it this far, not cause I am scared. Just becoz I don't want things to get too bad for him. I donno if my manager thinks it has a sexual angle coz he is forcing me again and again to talk to some female managers so I can comfortably talk. What does he mean by that? I already told him what I had to...Still... I am so confused right now... I donno what to do... I told him I dont want to talk abt it again and again... here I am telling my story to so many people to let the message reach the right person... huh! Seriously, somewhere deep down I am feeling, I shud have just not taken it forward... Why do we have a tendency to feel guilty when our actions hurt someone who has hurt us?? :( I dont understand this side of me.. .My head says... he deserves it.. .My heart says.. he is human after all.. Let it be... I feel so caught up in this mess... confrontations..complaints... escalations... is not just ME... But I am left with no choice but to go ahead with it...coz turning back is like eating ur own words... and I cant do that... I wish things get fine.. I wish this wud have never happened... I had my *special* conversation with God and I prayed that things get fine... tomorrow is another day... god knws.. wat's in store... Thanks a lot everyone for helping me out with this.. .I got courage to talk abt it with my seniors only coz I knew that so many people(YOU) believe in me... Thanks a lot :) *may sound cheesy, but it did help*... I know am not posting interesting stuff... but then.. bad times need their share of limeligh too... :D :D... Let's hope things get better... :) Love u ppl.

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UK Diaries : Nov 22 - Nasty fight, Tears and Consequences

Friday 2:11 PM Just had a huge fight with the team's manager and I shouted at him when I could not take it... yeah I did...cant believe tht... But as it always happens, I cried. I cry when I am angry... I had to rush to the washroom after putting up a stern act in front of him... Everyone here thinks I am the strongest... but today, they feel that I am the weakest coz I felt bad when the manager said all those nasty things. Yeah! I did put up a mast fight and finally he had to just give up and walk away. BTW, is crying weak? I don't think so. It is just about the way you react to situations. When I shout at someone or if I am angry, you will always find me crying after it. That does not make you weak. Crying never does make you weak. It means you acknowledge your emotions and you accept them. Whatever happens, you deal with it and you forget about it. As simple as that. I am not justifying it but that's wat I feel... It is completely strong and humane to cry. At least, you are honest enuff to express urself, which is a brave thing to do. I donno what perception people in office will have for me from now on. I heard one of them call me a softy :D.. .yeah right!! come and fight me.. u will get to know..I donno if this guy will gimme my leave or not.. but I have promised myself and told him that I will never work in his team ever... this is the biggest mistake I have done, I told him. Yes. I am in a bad mood. :( Sunday : 11:32 AM I emailed my senior managers about the team manager's rude attitude and they want to discuss it. Now, I don't want to take away someone's job...so I will make sure that things dont get too far. My organization is very strict about respecting women employees and if someone does not abide by the policy, he/she is kicked out. I don't know if I should tell my managers what he actually told me... or shud I just diplomatically handle the whole thing so that he does not get affected. Shit! I would have forgiven him and not sent an email... but he said things like "Kaun sa tumhaari shaadi ho rahi hain jo chutti dun??"... and then did the signature hahaha... huh! and he points his finger at us when he talks... he remarks on our personal plans and credibility. What do I do? Tomorrow is going to be very stressful. This is my last week here and I am into this mess...NOW!! The whole excitement of going back home and stuff has died down coz I am so bothered by this incident. I really pray that everything goes smooth and he does not lose his job. I will try my best to make sure that things are fine for him. :( Theek hain...watever he said...he has a family too... What do you guys say?

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UK Diaries - Nov 17 - Black Dress,Dumbass and Ajab Prem Ki...

Reporting from office... Saturday was not fun as I had to say bye to my gud dost, as she left for her internship to Mumbai... I started missing her the moment she said bye... So, I thought I will get drunk on coffee and waste myself eating tortilla chips (ummm i love them) in her yaad (please do not assume that I LOVE her...okay! assume... :D) but to no use. I stepped out to buy grocery in a weird mood... parrrrrrrr... there was a cute Indian guy at the TESCO counter... we talked a lil bit and he was so nervous but very cute ;) Just like Hugh Jackman is... perfect comobo of cute+sexy. As dumb as I am, I did not ask him for his name.. I did not tell mine either...and I came back home feeling stupid. Par.. I am sure ek aur chance milega ;) Sunday : I continued wasting myself and the time, even when I had an important package to fill. I know, I shud be feeling guilty for it but I hate doing it... :( I sulked a bit and then I decided -- fuck sadness... I went out and shopped AGAIN!! I bought amazing collection of lingerie, nightwear, bags, jumpers... and a black dress... ummmmm... I almost fell in love with myself when I tried it on... :D I came back home happy... tried the dress again and pouted in front of the mirror. I loved myself in it. I saw "Weird Prem ki Strange Isshtory" and I cud see that Ranbir carried the movie on his tender shoulders :P I loved it. Although it was over-the-top, but for the more serious shit we have hollywood... Bollywood is abt enjaaying... ;) Monday was kinda okay until the Mgr arrived.. I am gonna call him Ass :D So, Mr. Ass does not know anything as is a peculiar trait of 95% of managers but he asks a lot. Un-necessary questions... huh! I explain things to him for hrs and then he comes back to me and asks the same question he asked before the explanation... I feel like hiding under the table, jumping my way out of the window... hitting him with a frying pan... but I fight all those negatives back and AVOID any conversation with him... In short, yahan logon ko kuch nahi pata... aur sab mere dimaag ka dahi kar rahein hain... jis becharon ko pata hain.. unki koi value nahi hain... Few more weeks and I am back home... :) So wenever life kicks my ass, I am like... "Yeah! Okay! I am gonna be home soon".... :D How was it for u guys?? kuch masala tha kya iss weekend mein??

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UK Diaries 14 Nov : Playboy,Train,Stalker and Tree.

A man in the train almost shocked me when he opened the papers in the morning, he sat opposite me and we were sharing the same table. He kept staring at a stark-naked life-size playboy model for 20 mins by clock and I was so uncomfortable with the whole thing. He gave a nasty smile when our eyes crossed for a moment. I was like "Yeah! dude. You think you are smart". Saala! Pervert.
That is just one thing about last Monday, another is my train broke down on the first station and we had only 35 seconds to run and catch another one. I still dont remember how I managed it. Ek toh Monday upar se yeh!! For everyone who assumes, pardes mein trains kharaab nahi hoti... Wake up! Harshita Jahaan, Musibat Wahaan!! hehe..Jokes apart, I think apni India Rail Service iss maamley mein mast hain. My train broke down twice in a week, a disaster it is. :)

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UK Diaries - Nov 9 - News Mania/Anger

Wow! today reading thru 'The Times of India' site amazed me. MNS guys hit SP' Abu Azmi for taking his oath in hindi. Arey yaar! by gawd, mujhey toh iss sab nonsense pe bahut gussa aata hain... WTH is this? Hindi ho, marathi ho yaa Telugu yaa apni koi bhi language, humaari marzi, we have the fundamental right to speak the way and the language that we want to...Huh! I really have started hating these morons. Koi kaam dhaam nahi, ghar se nikaltey hain, kisi ki thukai karney ke liye bas. Bloody Goondas! Do thappas lagaaney chahiye aisey logon ko, ek din mein akal aa jaayegi... Another interesting piece is, Mr. Manu Sharma, the great killer of Jessica, is on parole and he was found partying at a nightclub. THIS is what life is. Poor will suffer for stealing chai-paani and Ameer-guys will party after murdering a jeeta jaagta insaan. Wah rey India!! Wah rey System!!Well, ab main itni koi saadhu mahatma toh hun nahi.. waisey bhi life ki band baji hain... feels like, its better if I kill that guy. :D Hadd hain, by gawd. Ek aur feather(pankha) in the cap is that, according to World Economic Forum India ranks 134th on the Man-Woman equality list. Ahem! obvious hain waisey toh... par sad bhi... :( When Manu-the man, can kill Jessica- the woman, over a drink, kuch bhi ho sakta hain... We boast of domestic violence, rapists, violence against women and girl child and I believe secretly India -the country cries in shame sometimes.hmmph... I always tell my train partner ki subah subah news paper matlab depression ka full dose. Yaa toh BP badd jaata hain yaa morale ghat jaata hain..Khair, I am toh completely disgusted with the news for today. Nothing much exciting in office but yeah! I love playing with Kabootar log at the station... :) I bought 6 books last nite(Emma,Brida,The Associate,Twilight,Time Traveller's Wife and one UK ka local author) for which I spent 30 pounds and Prachi tells me "Ki dilli mein toh 400 mein pirated copied mil jaayengi"... and she is right. But then, I told her that I need them right now.She was sweet enuff to tell me, toh fir bindaas pado..socho mat :D :D There was some amount of snowfall in my office town and the temperature today is 3 degrees. I bought two coats but none of them helps :P Wahi puraani ghisi peeti kahaani... lol Arey yaar!! how was ur weekend?? Mast kya??

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UK Diaries - Nov 8 - Love, Sex or both??

Yeah! right. Another movie, another thought process and some more questions. I saw "Lie with me" yesterday and well, from all the reviews I read, I thought it wud have an intense love-centred storyline and it did have one, but then it is also one of those movies that critics would pass off as porn. It ain't porn in the first place, I would say its more graphic. The characters are messed-up people, but the message (even if they did not want to convey any) was clear.No matter what, at the end of it all emotions do matter. Be it a man or woman, after series of senseless sex sessions, everyone craves for feelings somewhere. I assume that it is already a long running debate. If you ask a guy/gal, "how abt casual sex?", they will jump out saying "yeah! works for me"... but then you ask them for how long... and they wud never tell you forever. Coz its also not abt relationships,casual or watever, its about basic needs. The way sex works for your hormones, emotions work for YOU. As in the movie, the couple starts with casual sex but their lives get interwined and things get complicated coz at the end of it all, you need concern,care and yeah! the overrated word as they call it, LOVE. So, if you have to choose between love or sex, am sure sex will have more votes,for now. But I think, its both that help strengthen a relationship. After all, you cant survive on sex alone, all your life, unless you are an addict... but then you need rehab, dont you? :) What do you guys say abt that? Is it one of the two or is it the mix and match of both??

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UK Diaries - Nov 7 - Love or Luck??

12 mid-nite : I have just finished watching the movie "Forces of nature", it is really really unpredictable. A guy meets a wonderful, full of life woman on his way to his marriage, he falls for her but then at the end of it all, he goes back and gets married to the woman he committed to. It gave a message that its all abt faith, there is no one who is perfectly made for u. You gotta keep faith and it works. Sorry! I dont agree with whoever has penned down that theory. I think there is ofcourse someone whoz there for you and its nt abt faith or luck, its just abt love. I donno, I may be wrong for the most of us....but I do believe that more than luck and keeping faith and just giving into committments, it is abt honesty... it is abt how honest u r about whom you love. I wud not prefer spending my life with someone wearing a mask of faith and luck, that would be so dishonest. Won't it be? Movie left me confused... I thought he wud go with the gal he loved but at the end of it all, he says he loves the woman he is going to marry.. I was like, go get a life dude... We are way past 50s, dont cheat on someone u claim to love and most of all, dont cheat urself. It is all abt love at the end of it all... Honest love... that's it. I dont want to take it as a gamble, I'd rather take it as what I want and ofcourse, to flatter myself, what I deserve. So when your heart says"he/she is the one".. go for it... come on!! there is just one life and so much love to share :) Sounds corny, right?? :) Does that one make some sense?? :D If it doesn't, dont bother... Just something that came to my mind after the movie. More abt the nightmare friday in next post. :)

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UK Diaries - Nov 3 - Happy Tuesday. :)

1 PM at office : Everyone has gone for lunch and here I am sitting at my desk, lazily typing the criss-crossing thoughts in my mind. Systems are all down, I wonder if they are paying me to write diaries here?? Anyways, so Tuesday morning began with a beautiful song and an equally beautiful sight. It was raining when I stepped out of the house and finally, I cud make use of my new umbrella ;) Although it did not help much, coz my bag was still drenched. It is wonderful walking in the rain, thumping ur feet lightly on the wet ground and feeling the mist in the air. Bahut shayari ho gayi... :D :D It was really really cold.. but then I say that everyday... I sat at my pet corner in the train and read thru the novel, smiling to myself and at times looking at the rain-rinsed glass. Also, there is this Indian/Paki (not sure) guy who boards the train from a station next to mine. Looks at me when am talking but avoids eye contact, as if I will eat him up. ;) I think Indians repulse Indians outside India... waisey India mein bhi toh?? *wonders*. He is cute waisey, let it be. I was less lazier as compared to other days, I really donno why. I indulged in some animated coversations with a couple of people, expressed my disgust with the work and heard theirs. In short, I gossiped *haww*, abhi realise hua. :D :D I am hooked to Tortilla Chips now, no matter how, when, where, I love them. Yes, Mom I drink milk too everyday coz you asked me to. :P Nothing masaledaar was happening until my manager mailed me about my expenses.Seems, he wants to have a discussion, which in other words means that there is some bad news :D and he loves giving them on Fridays. So we have a meeting on Friday. 7:00 PM : (In the comfort of my apartment, sipping on coffee) - Train journey was nice today. I was smiling on my way back from the station and I donno why... just tht I think I was happy. I think I AM HAPPY.. :) Wow! that's not so difficult naa... its all abt how u want to be... I cud not stay sad for long... Sadness sucks!! So, mast se rehney ka... ;) ciao! and BTW, pehla din tha umbrella ka... aur ek hi din mein uski chutti ho gayi...LOL...It could not handle the wind and collapsed... :P Kya comedy hain life ki by gawd...hehehe

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UK Diaries - Nov 2 - Surprise Monday :D

1:16 PM Monday...Oye Monday... By gawd! sometimes I feel Monday bechara, log kitni gaali detey hain isey...fir bhi besharam har week wapas se aa jaata hain... Last nite, I had a long chat with one of my close friends and time just went by. I slept at 2 am coz as I said earlier, The heater is a cheater :( and I kept forcing myself to sleep and finally I made a pact with me "Okay! Harshita dont panic, if you are late, you can catch a cab to office" and finally I think my mind was convinced and I slept till 5:30 am or so. With around 4 hrs of sleep, I was so scared to begin the day. I already imagined falling asleep in the train and missing my station or not being able to walk all the way to office. :D :D I am so over-dramatic at times... :D Anyways, so I decided to read a book to shoo away the Monday negativity in the train and I picked up "Bridget Jones-Edge of Reason". Somehow I have started to relate to her but then in bits and pieces coz she is 50 times more dramatic than me. :) and then as Mads says that I dont booze and smoke and I am not desperate to get married... I think I am not like her at all.So I think it will be a good read. Let's see. There are lot of new faces in office. It may sound nasty, bitchy and mean, but finally there is someone who's bigger than me. *Fat Psychology : If u see someone fatter than you, you feel relieved and beautiful*. Donno if that makes sense to anyone. So, the new arrivals are telugu women and they are sitting next to me. They keep talking n talking n talking....hehe but I am wearing my protection gear (Barney style), and btw before you assume anything, protection gear refers to IPOD here. So I have plugged in my earfones (Wonders if it will turn me deaf) and I am working. The servers will be away on LUNCH again for two hours so I am idle till 2 pm UK time and I thought why not write the diary. Saturday was a demonstration here, police...security copters...everything made the atmosphere very tense, so I stayed at home. Sunday, I planned to go out, par it rained whole day long.Finally I took a walk at nite but it was so eerie... that I had to run back home...also it started raining. :) Aur haan! my team members tell me that they faced racist abuse this Sunday at the hands of a couple of Britishers. It is horrifying to hear but then I also have faced something weird this Saturday evening, so I can understand. Hope you guys had a great weekend... Its 1:30 and I am waiting for it to be 5 pm and I will run to the station. :P More tomorrow... Have fun and masti maaro!! Added at 4:30 : I think its yesterday's rain...I am sneezing...aaaaaachoooo!! I have a bad headache and in a short while I will leave office. I think I will just crash in the bed for an hour before I cook dinner and tomorrow's lunch.

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UK Diaries - Oct 30- From Office

10:00 am office desk- I donno why it is difficult for me to act like a bitch.. I had decided last nite itself that I am not going to help her... but then... Dear God, I cannot cheat you... right.. I cannot cheat myself...so finally I helped her I think it is not abt if I like her or not.. its abt that she needs help and I shud help her... coz not doing that is completely against my nature. So finally I have found a room for her in my aparthotel... and then I think abt it.. I dont even dislike her.. just that I am not comfy with the gang she brings along.. anyways... I feel lighter... deceiving is just not my cuip of tea I think... So finally after much struggle inside me... I helped her... aah! relieved... Damn! I always miss a chance to be a bitch.. grrrr... chalo dekho...may be next time I can be nasty to someone and just do bad to them... Being Sainty gets boring at times... :) 12:00 pm : This Friday has started on a very lazy note.. but then it is shaping up well enuff.. I am planning to leave by 4 today.. May be catch up on some romachik flicks...or just hang around the city square and click form pics... but then it rains every friday,sat and sunday... Weather is suffering frm serious mood swings, I must say. 3:00 pm And here I am, its 3 pm and everybody is just waiting for the clock to shout out 4 pm and they will start running out of the office... I find it so strange that every monday, I feel why its not weekend anymore... and every weekend I wonder, why is it so lonely and why is it not a working day anymore... I think its just that, I am being too demanding. :) But then, who cares... ;) The server is suddenly down, I think it went off to party with other server-log coz its a friday and has a fake that pretends to be down.. See, my mind is running full-time and I am so gud at writing shit/bakwaas as u call it that I shud be awarded for the same. :D :D Anyways... there is this old guy in office.. let us call him G, he is so cute.. everyday I make sure that I say hello to him coz he makes that cute face when I walk upto him and says... "Harsheeeeeta what have i done to upset you NOW?"...haha... coz he is the trouble fixer for our technical issues... so he always says that I bring along trouble and when I smile he is sure, something is really fishy with the server. :P I love this guy, he has so much positive energy even at this age. :) Everyone is office thinks why do I eat alone at my desk, why I dont go out on coffee breaks, why do I plug in my earfones and work all the time. Well, my funda is... Do your work and Do it well and then go home... I dont have time for gossip...(yeah! I am lying, I do gossip with my friend in the train) but then, I think I dont want to hang around with these people who just pretend so much abt money and status. I am happy being me.. who loves to eat on roadside dhabas... who still gorges on Golgappas more than anything... :D I hate Pizzas... I really do...and I am allergic to burgers... One sight of them and u can find me running... so if u wanna woo me, paanipuri is my thing. :P Is-sey pata chalta hain, ki I talk so much... I started with something else... and now I really donno what I was talking abt. Me too looking at my watch and waiting for 4 pm... Have a gr8 time guys.. :) Life indeed is beautiful.. and dont ask me why I said tht... aivayee... Before I sign off.. I found out the reason for stomach problem.. DAMN Olive Oil... I did not realise I was cooking food in olive oil.. I am allergic to Olives as in allergic... :P :P Main kamaal hun waisey...hehehe Have a mast weekend.

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UK Diaries - Oct 29 - From office

Last nite I tried sleeping early coz I promised myself that I will get up by 5:30 and relax a bit... coz the food am eating here and my eating habits are causing worry to my stomach... so to avoid all those acidity pangs.. I thought lets get up in time.. and drink loads of hot water... :) One thing I dont understand is... it is so cold.. and then my room heater is at 22 deg and even then I feel so hot at one point that I have to make it to 17.. I think the heater is a cheater... :D it shows something else and it does something else altogether. Anyways so I got up at 5:30.. and mechanically did all the stuff I do every mrng.. pack lunch...cook rotis...chat a bit and then get ready n rush to work... But then to my surprise the trousers I bought last week are loose for me now... :( and I did not buy a belt.. (I AM SOMETIMES SO SMART that I doubt myself) anyways, somehow managed but then the kurtis were all un-pressed... somehow caught hold of the striped cotton shirt and managed again. Reached station before time... took some other train.. took some other bus... and then reached office only to realise that I badly need to sleep again... :D :D Thought will doze off in the meeting.. cud not... :( and then ran to the workstation, so much to do... was doing sumthing n felt will fall off on the monitor.So,shifted attention to my laptop and started typing in an attempt to stay awake ... but I still think I will bang my head into the laptop monitor... Dont like it here anymore... new ppl have come in... we dont gel much... they make fun of me.. and I kinda ignore as am too tired at the end of the day to put my grey cells to use and give them a fitting reply... Damn! you Daylight saving... U screwed up my system again... now it will take another two weeks for me to get settled with the change in time... huh! I am in a complaining mood today... so I think I shud just stop right here...right now... Nobody loves reading someone crib...crib n crib... ;) Ah oh! I was abt to fall asleep again... zzzzz... need to do something to avoid it... ahem! music? walk? work? duh! Thursday here is like Mini-Friday.. people appear sleepy... they dont want to work.. and everybody secretly wishes for the fire alarm to go off or something to happen to the weather that they get to go home :D :D I am now on my way to home, my gud friend here is going back to India tomorrow and I will be all alone... its gonna be tuff... but then... let it be... :) I have loads of masala abt the new gang that has come up...will share... :) Ciao! Abhi ke liye...

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UK Diaries - Oct 26 - From office

On a day like today, I look back and wonder, what am I doing here and why am I doing, whatever am doing. There are lot of things that make no sense at all to us and still we just keep doing them coz we need to... and we have to do them. I am not gud at writing may be... but my soul lies there... when I write I feel I am free... but then my interest in written communication has always hampered some relationships... there are few things, i cant tell people on their faces but I can for sure write abt it and share it with them. I donno why... but am like that eversince am a kid... I always believed in writing letters to the people who meant something or anything for me. I used to write letters to my best friend in college... I think that's so crazy when I look back but we actually wrote letters to each other even when we spent all the time with each other... WEIRD!! that may sound... but there are things we cud not say.. gratitude...thanks... care...concern... dreams... we wud share it all in the letters. And it did not end there, I wrote farewell letters to all my friends telling them all I could never say when we were together.It is a strange life indeed. Things you cant say. you can write. :) Call it anything, but makes me fell more comfortable. I suggest someday you too try it, there is nothing like receiving a handwritten letter from that special someone telling you things you always wanted to read.... :) and again there is nothing like writing what you want to say on a piece of paper and share it. I think it saves us from our intial hesitation and also helps in bridging the gaps in any relationship. Letters, that's why, I wud say are important. Just a thought that crossed my mind while I am on break in office... I am not loving it here... but then...I gotta do what I gotta do... :D

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UK Diaries - Oct 23 2009 -From office

From today onwards I start a new series of posts...They will be random... half-baked...and live most of the time...also no spell checks...no editing... I am calling them UK Diaries... :) So, I am not going to think but when in office, while on the road, while at home...watever comes to my mind...am going to write abt it... and then someday I will look back and laugh n cry abt it... :D So herez the first one in the series...I wrote in office on Oct 23. Sometimes there is no reason and you find yourself smiling at life or at someone u hardly know. Sometimes life just seems so wonderful that you dont see anything but happiness inside out. Sometimes you tend to do things you wud never want to and still smile about it. I donno its coz its a friday or coz I am wearing tht black dress or may be coz I donno, something is there that makes me smile... and here I get an advice as I write this... gimme a break am wearing an off-shoulder and a female in my office from India comes and asks me to pull off the end of the neck coz she thinks its a wardrobe malfunction:D That explains, never wear it when u r with the gang, they will assume its a wardrobe malfunction. Damn! I cant stop laughing about it. Isn't it weird? Wasted my 30 pounds on this top and it turns out that everyone thinks its a wardrobe malfunction... LOL Apart from this funny thing that happened to me right now, morning was funnier I think. I asked my hotel to book a cab for me so I cud reach office in time... and as always I assumed that it will be billed to my credit card. The driver was a Pakistani(or so I assume), does not matter much though, we talked in English only but. So, as I reached office, I took 2 pounds from my bag, gave it to him and he was shocked"No..No..No... Mam! ONLY this??"...I still remember the look on his face and I was like all innocent, "yeah! how much more shud I pay for the tip?". He responds,"No,bill...bill". I was like "Ah! Oh! Okay! You are talking about the bill. Well it will be billed to hotel right?". He said,"Let me ask my boss" and finally I paid him the fare coz hotel messed up. But,khe khe khe... I still cant forget that incident... I mean the look that said "how cud you??"... :D :D haha... wat a beginning to the day? and then I got stuck at the super-secure gates of office so had to call sum1 for the PIN and stuff. And when I reach office, I realised my back was exposed all the while I was walking coz I forgot to pull my sweater down while wearing it in the car... :0 :0 Embarassing that was... But kya karein... ;) So I reach my desk and as soon as I took off my sweater. I cud see THAT look... which means "WTF, you are wearing THIS to office" and till someone came and told me frm Team India that I shud adjust my top, I assumed I was looking gud. Can't believe they dont get the fact that its a one-shoulder top... so itz gotta drop down over the arm on the other shoulder's side. Anyways, all fashion gone down the drain. Am sure, since I have finally brought my umbrella with me today, it will NOT rain. But anytime I forget it, it HAS to rain... No matter if its sunny all the while. Sometimes I get the feeling that God is purposely after me to prove the fact that he DOES control my life. Well, something is seriously wrong somewhere. Imagine I booked a cab yesterday, it turned up, waited for me without calling in and went away and I already told half of the gang that they can accompany me in the cab...hehe... finally i got drenched in the rain and waited for the BUS at office. So everyone laughed at me... and if that was not enuff... I had to run in the rain to catch the train... :( and I got to sit next to the gang and I cud see them stealthily laughing at me or probably being sorry for me in a funny way. Well who said its gonna be easy... ;) Its gonna be a new day tomorrow and ofcourse something new coming my way.... :) Note : I can read your blogs from office but cannot comment. Blogger does not open. Not that anyone pushes me to comment, but some of the posts are so amazing that I want to comment on them tabhi ke tabhi... so I will and I will also respond to the interesting comments this saturday... love ya guys...

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Travel, Work,Racism and ofcourse THE ME!! ;)

I open my Astro just like that on TOI side window and it says- You will feel a little depressed today and I am like "tell me about it".I am not well today and I was all ready for office when I realised am not well enuff to catch that train, walk those miles, so I stayed back and I donno if I did the right thing. I have one business meeting, one lunch meeting and a team dinner tonite and not going to office means skipping on all the interaction but then I am not interested in making friendships here. I just wanna do my stuff here and go back home to my ever-so wonderful family and my dogs. :) Okay! so about travel, here is a quick summary : As I always say, the worst part of a journey away from home is not the journey frm the home airport to another airport,It is the trip that you make from your home(with your family) to the home airport to catch you flight. It makes me feel sick. I travel a lot for the women of my age (that's Bridget Jones effect, Okay!) but everytime I go away frm home, its a tuff thing. I always insist that I take a cab frm my place to the airport which is 2hrs away but Dad believes in the family ritual of dropping us at the airport.I LOVE HIM for that n for a couple of other things too. *giggles* But, the time spent in the car till you reach the airport is dreadful. I kept imagining how I will get down and look back and wave to mom. I felt sick, nervous and everything but more than that I had an urge to pee. Shit!! The pee-rablem comes again so we stopped at some random hotel on the way to gurgaon...hehe... I ran inside,smling at the reception, used the loo, thanked and ran back. By now, I have mastered the art. Can't help till Indian govt comes up with good public toilets for women. Anyways, I was doing everything mechanically till I boarded my plane as if I was programmed. I did not look back once I stood in the departure queue coz I did not want to say bye to mom. So I really don't remember how and when I boarded my plane, whom I called, what I said. I did everything in daze may be. So, I slept with my mouth wide open in the plane till we reached Amsterdam, and its a beautiful place, it was soooo cold and I was wearing a tshirt,capri and chappals(most comfy for long travel). I shrieked wen we got off the plane, it was so cold. Anyways, next thing I know, I dropped my handbag first on a co-pasenger's foot and later while boarding the other flight on the ground-staff's foot. hahaha... I cant help but fumble up stuff... :D that's me. Reached Leeds Airport and found that my cabbie lost me and I lost him. Waited for him in the parking (which btw means that I had to carry 33Kgs of luggage downslope and upwards again). It was sick, my back hurts even now. Finally he called me and he was a GORA, kinda relief. I did not want any Pakistani or Indian cabbie for the reason that I did not want to strike a conversation, I was too tired. But the GORA, did talk a lot. I faked sleep. :) I could see everyone at the airport, in the plane and the lounge staring at my novel which was Bridget Jones' Diary. They might be secretly feeling sorry for me. :D :D Anyways, it was so cold, my nose started bleeding inside...damn! all the woollens are worth trash so shopped hard for some gud stuff here... still shopping... The place is good except that it is freakingly cold and it rains whenever rain gods plan a manicure. ;) Donno!! Got drenched yesterday so paying the price by staying home today. Workplace sucks like everyone's work place. Some gross people playing politics so me minding my own business and doing what I want to...Not interested in coming back here again , atleast not for work. BTW, the place is good for shopping... retail therapy is the mantra for a depressing day. Aur kya? haan... I faced racism too... A drug-addict sorta, chin,ear,eyebrow pierced woman and me were abt to take opposiute tray table seats in the train, when she made a sick face and looked at me... like Huh! Bitch how can u sit here? but I smiled back and kept my stuff there. She picked all her stuff and looked back at me, made a bad face again and sat in another row. I was like "Cool, Bitch I have the full seat to me, you go suck up the back row". :D :D I felt very very humiliated actually. I was dressed completely Indian, head-covered and all and why am stressing on that... well the day I changed my wardrobe to western, I see people passing me off as Brazilian, Filipino, Italian (can u beat that?)... hehe... but no one has looked the same way at me as yet. I dont care anyways... I am off to my churidaars again... :) Okay! that's quiet a long story.. and I managed it coz am grounded... cant check blogs frm office.. so am visiting them all today... Aur yaar.. meri diwali lonely aur boring this.. i cooked maggi and sulked.. .wat did u do?? Arey haan, mainey shopping ki naa diwali pe :D :D Ek warm si jhappi... UK ki bheed mein khud ko dhoondti huyee... Aapki Harshita *wah wah*

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Gumshuda!!

Haanji, main nahi hoon Gumshuda... bas post ka naam hain yaar!! Main firse aa gayi... :) Well, a lot of things happened in the past few weeks. I decided on taking a temporary break from my team and shift to another team, which meant, shifting to a new country too. So I am in UK for work and I am going to be here for quite sometime. It was not an easy decision afterall, I have not had any international travel in past 1 year, I travelled within India but only for couple of days. So I was a little anxious as to how I'll manage without so many things I am dependent on, like my family and all the luxuries at home. Some people played an important role while I was reconsidering this decision. My friend Archi told me "Go for it, you need that sense of independence back", Mads told me,"Come on, you should go. You need that and you will manage", Richa convinced me that its the right thing that am doing even if I will miss her wedding which we had planned so much for. So thank you to all of you... :) You people are one of the major reasons I could take this decision. The travel was funny, sad and irritating all at the same time. So, there are lot of stories to be told.I did some hilarious stuff unknowingly and got embarassed publicly. :D :D But then, that's signature me. Here,I start my day at 5 am(yeah! Sunny I can see the surprised look on your face) and by the time I come back its 7:30 pm in UK and midnite in India so I hardly get to talk to my people. I call them and they are asleep. There is no energy to cook, clean or do anything at all...still I try checking mails and stuff and then I collapse on the bed after washing and cooking at around 11pm. I get up and feel like I have slept only for an hour... but the clock does not lie, its 5 am again... :( I swear under my breath, even though am alone. I travel to office by train and bus, so its like I walk for half a km, then take a train for 45 mins, then walk to the bus stop, take a bus for 20 mins and then walk a km to get to my office. I know...I know... it sucks... but then, cant help it. This post is smaller as compared to others coz it is more of a status update on where I am, what I am doing and why I am missing from your lives and blogs. There is so much to talk about... a lot of funny things... but I will post them later.I am feeling so sleepy in office and the worst thing about staying awake is that YOU CAN NEVER FAKE IT. Jhappiyaan! aur haan Happy Diwali yaaron... main toh life mein first time diwali par ghar se duur hun... :( Am jealous... grrr.... :D :D

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Mission Dulhaa Bhagaao!!

Before everyone assumes that I got hit by a truck (in my case, a car wont do) or got married (naa baba), I am masti mein jeeyofying. I know blogging took a backseat... not coz I had nothing to write... just that, I was too busy juggling personal and professional life... I am sure kisi naa kisi ne toh mujhey miss kiya hoga ;) Chalo ji, I am back.. and today, fulfilling my promise of a post on potential grooms.I think, this is the best time to write one coz recently I met a potential groom... how was he? what happened? All the updates, later. But he inspired me to come up with this post coz now I know what I need to do shoo a potential groom away... shooing him away was difficult, so a good lesson learnt... It has to be a well-executed plan, wherein we have to focus all our energies.Shuru kartey hain points mein, hamesha ki tarah(lol) : 1. First and foremost : DO NOT TAKE BATH for 2 days altogether. This is the most impactful thing you can do. Of course, spend due time in the shower.. let it run...you can read your fav book in the meanwhile :D. Pretend that you have lost your perfume,deo or watever at the last minute. 2. Wear Sleevless(irrespective of the season), and DO NOT SHAVE YOUR UNDER-ARMS (Yuck!). Raise your hand, once or twice, while talking to the potential groom (the subject or let's call him PG)...LOL 3. Skip two visits to the parlor in a row(if its a pre-planned meeting)... let nature take its own course... let those eyebrows..those hair... those moustaches grow... :D Natural Beauty isey hi toh kehtey hain... 4. It is important that your family does not suspect anything, else things can turn bad... so you have to take every step with lots of secrecy and focus. 5. On the day of meeting, eat beans in breakfast and 1 raw onion before you start(preferably dipped in vinegar) and keep that chewing gum away till you reach the venue. It helps in farts,burps and bad breath. *THUMBS-UP* 6. Wear nice clothes(kisi ko shaque nahi hona chahiye), you have full freedom to let you hair loose, they will help later. 7. As soon as you reach the venue, say hurried hellos... and run to the loo(no matter if u need it or not)... 8. Fake a trip or fall, as you reach the table where everyone is seated. Fake a smile. 9. Talk in hindi, punjabi, tamil, telugu, marathi...all desi bhaasha... except ENGLISH... 'SH' ko 'S' bolo... 'S' ko 'SH'. 10. Make sure some of your hair land up in the glass of water... ;) and then say... "Oh! ahem! sorry sorry" and pretend to clean the table with your handkerchief. Nothing else sucks more. :D 11. Apney character assasination ki zarurat nahi... so no use talking abt boyfriends that led to abortions, kids(if any)..:P 12. You shud behave as if you donno how to handle a fork and a knife while eating... use your fingers...for eating... something as easy as Rice even... :D 13. And come on! I dont need to tell you how to SLURRRRRP the coffee/tea... make that sound.. yeah! yeah! THAT sound every time you take a sip. 14. Giggle unnecessarily, fart now and then... Sneeze so he suspects SWINE FLU... let the droplets land somewhere near him... :P 15. Appear disinterested when he talks... ;) works all the time... other alternative is, dont let him talk.. Talk abt chachiji, massiji, auntyji, pappuji...buntyji... ;) Arey yaar...bas... haath dard ho gaye... baaki tips baad mein... I am sure these tips will help you in LEVEL 1.... and if the guy still dares to set-up a second meeting... :D I will share some advanced level tips...especially meant for LEVEL 2. Aur haan, add-in your tips... kya pata future mein, mere kaam aa jaaye... Contrary to whatever I have written, I turned up well-dressed and of course smelling good and let him talk... So this is how I realized where I went wrong... par yeh galti baar baar nahi hogi :) :) Miltey hain!! :D :D Mujhey sabki posts padni hain... itney din ho gaye... ciao!

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Things are not always what they seem to be...

Bahut zor shor ke saath I promised a post on HOW TO SHOO A POTENTIAL GROOM away, sadly it will have to wait till next time... Hmm... wondering why?? Well, there are more bizarre things as compared to THIS. Newspaper is my favorite breakfast...now don't imagine me, eating up all the papers... I mean, I love reading newspapers like 85% of hindustani population and the news items fascinate me, shock me and at times trouble me. Like today's headline did. It talked about HC panel's findings that 19 yr old Ishrat (in picture) was killed as a part of the fake encounter... You know what I felt the very moment I read it... I wanted to catch hold of all the officers who were involved in it and burn them alive... (Okay! I know I get hyper... par it is justified). Just for the sake of promotions and some medals they killed 4 innocent people... By gawd! mere dimaag mein bas ek hi baat aati hain... yeh log kahaan jaakey bharengey yeh saarey paap... I sometimes feel scared that who knows someday it can happen to someone I know... what will I do then?? Will I just sit-up and watch all the shit happening quietly or will I do something to change it all?? I think I would choose the latter... better to die fighting for justice than witnessing this crap... I am pretty agitated... how about abducting the officer's kids and killing them?? haan... huh! But then, we are not that big the devils... I truly wish that everyone who kills innocent people like this, burns in hell and gets rotten till they are alive... I feel disgusted right now... seriously... Rabba!! hum sabki band bajaaney ke liye agar aapkey paas time hain toh aisey bandon ka kuch kyun nahi kartey... Next in the line of troublesome stuff was this one liner - 'Only whores choose partners'. I was busy guessing who cud have said that, when I saw an old man's pic next to the news-piece.He is some moral police for a village and community called 'KHAP'. So, Sunny now you know that all the shit they show in TV serials is not that fake... According to this cruel-man(I wud not take the pains of calling him GENTLEMAN), no woman has the right to choose her partner and ofcourse nothing like same gotra marriages. Kitna time hain inn logon ke paas, sahi mein. They call it protecting their honor... Honor by killing the couples who marry in same gotra, by killing women who dare to speak... Fine. No decent language now. I SPIT ON THEIR HONOR-STORY, BULL-SHIT. Yeah! I am angry... so wat... I am just done with this crap of honor and moral policing. I am done with this shit of fake encounters and innocent people being killed... Theek hain, I know I cannot catch these morons by collar and punch them on their face... but I, for sure, can write about it... share about it... and I did just that. SHAME ON Former city police commissioner K R Kaushik, JCP (crime branch) P P Pande, suspended DIG D G Vanzara, then ACP G L Singhal, and ACP N K Amin who planned this encounter for their selfish motives. SHAME ON Mahendra Singh Tikait, the Chaudhary of KHAP community for stupid moral policing. Guys, some day, your past will catch up with you and each one of you will pay for it all...if the findings are true. And of course, Mr. Narendra Modi, do you have anything to say abt it?? I know Mom, Gals should not swear :) but then don't you say good human beings don't harm others... This one is a fair deal here!! P.S. I wonder why these days my posts are more about Jagruti and Revolutions. May be, I have started seeing the world as it is... and not with rose-tinted glasses. Good for me. For news items discussed : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Ishrat-encounter-fake-Probe/articleshow/4984450.cms http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/news/india/Only-whores-choose-their-partners/articleshow/4984378.cms

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Comfortably Confused

This is one of those days when my mind just wants to turn numb and think abt nothing at all... So many thoughts are running in my mind that I just cant stop it. Like I always say, life is not that complicated but we complicate it all the time. Life is pretty simple actually. Like I shud have told him today itself that I cant marry him... so what I think is before I sleep today, I am going to call him and tell him that I dont love him and that's the reason, I am not going to marry him. If I have to marry for convenience and security, better I marry someone my folks choose. Until or unless am madly in love with you, I can't and will not fight the world for you and leave aside the world, I am not going to talk to my folks about you if I dont love you. No...Nopes...not at all. Okay! I am a self-confessed confused soul. When weird things happen, I lose my calm. I am like all hassled. So when mom says,"Beta, meet this guy, that guy for shaadi". I get all hassled, I talk nonsense, I blabber and I try and find ways to shoo the potential groom away. I work on a battle-plan as to how to make that guy hate me (okay! hate is a strong word), dislike me. A post later on it. And I patent it right here, right now. "HOW TO MAKE A POTENTIAL GROOM DISLIKE YOU". SO DONT YOU DARE COPY MY THOUGHTS, WARNA PATA HAIN NAA... ;) Anyways, yeh sab baad mein... So, as always I donno wat I want in my life. All I know is I dont want to get married. Mom thinks it is a disorder and I will be fine if I get married but I feel you dont need to get married to someone to feel complete. May be, you need that but then, I donno. I dont feel like that right now. I just cant imagine myself moving in with someone, not even a room-mate and MOM, you are talking abt the special species called HUSBAND. Naah! mom... Nopes. Next musibat on my list is my job. Boley toh, life mein jab tension aati hain... ek saath chapar chapar..baras baras aatin hain... I want to work on live projects and my manager asks me to deliver trainings. Not that I blame him but then, I told him abt tht... and our 1-1 turned a bit nasty, coz he told me "You are narrow-minded, I still wonder what did he mean by that? "Narrow-minded as in?? I am not against liberalisation of women and even men, I am perfect with the concept of live-ins...fir narrow minded?? "... *sad feeling*... Koi naa... and I told him how am unhappy and frustrated with what I am doing... and he said "anything else u need to talk abt?", which means "are you done eating up my head?".... :P I thought shud explore some opps in other teams and got some gud ones too... but all are long-term onsites... and since the Shaadi-flu is ON, I cant even take them up. Now, mgr wants to have another 1-1, probably coz he wants to throw me out of the team or may be coz he thinks I am rebelling and he wants to set the things straight once and for all. Ah! peculiar of women, they always get anxious... and it is my habit... I am anxious abt almost 80% things in my life... so if someone wants to talk to me, I assume its for worst...:D :D Bhaggu!! I need to take a chill-pill par yaar aap naa, kabhi koi break nahi detey sahi mein... Abhi, I am praying ki meri naukri naa jaaye... atleast abhi naa jaaye... aur mgr mujhey chattis baatey naa sunaaye... dekho kya hota hain... Gameplan is : - tomorrow gotta call up the guy and tell him... the same old thing.. I don't love you. (see i started with I will tell today and postponed it... confused) - tomorrow gotta prepare a plan to shoo the prospective dulha-log away. - have to keep thinking/guessing what my manager wud want to talk about - have a meeting for a new opportunity - attend a boring training...where in I doze off and I seriously dont understand what the GORA is talking abt - make some more plans abt my not-so-bright future - Get worked up... tense and anxious yet again... Did anyone say? PMS!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr....Did you?? I feel a lil better now, after writing this up... Before you assume from the pic, I dont look like that, at all... :D :D

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"Some things cost more than you think"

Yeah! Yeah! You'll say she always talks abt changes, KRAANTI, revolution... She asks us to get up, look around, help and blah blah... Ab jab reputation kharaab ho hi gayi.. toh fursat se kharaab kar leti hun :) Last nite while surfing thru channels, I came across a beautiful yet weird video on VH1. It is by THE KILLERS and the song is Good night,Travel Well and in case you wanna watch it, here is the link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoTBclI22Dk I thought it is yet another love-song... but then it SHOCKED me so much that I kept thinking to myself when I was out for my evening walk" WHY?? WHY do people do this to others?"The message at the end says "Some things cost more than you think" and that is so utterly true. Apni Indian society mein, a gal talking abt prostitution and taking their cause is never encouraged. I mean, we all know, it is a taboo in our households. But, being me or to make it sound more apt, being the weird me, I always talk abt it as and when I feel. Coz this is something that has been bothering me, I had no option but to talk it out here. Yet again, I am not going to get in a discussion as to is prostitution justified?? Reason being, if you ask me, I wud never want it to exist coz pata nahi kyun, but somewhere I feel it is the last thing a woman would want to indulge in and for that matter even a man... But then as per studies almost more than 60% women are forced into prostitution much against their will and this video depicts the story of one such woman. Having studied in an engg college, we always heard how a bunch of boys staying outside hostels had sex with prostitutes...some gals were as young as 15 yr old, I wanted to puke when I heard that. In Hyderabad, I was too scared to move out after 9 coz some of the bus-stops are branded as the business areas for them, if by chance your auto takes you from Necklace Road side, you may witness many of them and worst is when we saw a woman (ofcourse she was a call gal) being abused by some politicians kids(laal-batti gaadi thi) on necklace road at arnd 9 pm when we were coming back frm a movie. As always, I tried to shout out but my friend said "Harshita, leave it.Dont forget you are a gal too, Chalo ghar chalo "Hmmm... yahin aake saara maamla thap... It was a very disturbing night for me... cud not sleep,par fir kya hua, kuch nahi.. I carried on with my routine... and once in a while kept wondering, kya hota hoga unn logon ka... :( :( I still think abt the same thing abhi bhi...Seriously, koi kuch bhi kahey... I feel really bad for them... When I was working for AIDS awareness 4yrs back, I came across women, who wud say "Madam, humko sikhaaney ka koi faayda nahi, unko bolo jo humse miltey hain"... Well said... and then we took a session for sweepers,guards, peons, office boys and they shamelessly confessed how they are married and they still visit brothels and they wud never follow protection coz all they seek is pleasure. Hmm... khair... Ab I am not going to judge you or ask you whether you have ever been involved with someone like that... but I appreciate MTV, UNICEF and VH1 for promoting the cause of child-trafficking and prostitution. Kehtey hain naa, rabb sab dekhta hain... Jo jiskey saath jaisa karta hain, waisa milta hain usey... I pray that people get some sense in their head who force kids and women into it and they stop this exploitation that they do in the name of pleasure :( And yet again, I wud say, if you can save someone from this vicious circle of life, save them.... Is-sey achcha kisi ke liye kuch nahi kar saktey yaar... chalo ji... miltey hain.. ciao!!

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"Itz time to change"

Change is constant as they say but sometimes it happens to us and we completely ignore it until someone shakes us up and brings us to the real world. For me, the person who shook me up and made me aware of this change is my brother, Money. All he said was " I was wondering you don't have local friends, you don't go out much..." and then he paused sensing that it will cause a big furor in the house and we decided we will talk abt it later. I knew what he was about to say. This is something that has been bothering me a lot too but I always put in on the back-burner. I could not sleep well last nite thinking about how my life changed in past few years and it worried me. I am more grounded and home-bound now but I was more outgoing and travel-kinda person earlier. I used to meet a lot of people, talk and talk. Now I spend my time working on weekdays,writing exams and cleaning on weekends. I HAVE CHANGED... CHANGED A LOT but I have my reasons. Firstly I thought I should blame it on my age, turning 26 makes you feel more mature which means you are expected to be good at work, get married and be focussed but then I thought it does not mean, I should stop having fun..Naah! I have a job that makes me work from home, if I am not travelling. So in a way its not getting up early morning, dressing up and munching on my breakfast while I run for my cab. I get up late(now), sip on hot water and get to work in my night pyjamas. I dont need to think about what dress to wear, what accessories to match, what shoes and what kinda hair. In short, I know its quiet a boring start to the day and a lazy one too. I know most of us dream about it. :D :D I am at work from 9 in the morning, that means in my own room, at my desk, and the cozy bed lures me now and then to sleep, but I dont. I fix my own breakfast, cook lunch for my family and get back to work again. There are times I work till 2 in the morning, and that's the disadvantage. I am off for my walk at 6pm or at times 8...thanks to some pervs, I now walk on the terrace and not on the road across the street after being groped twice. So again, no going out for walks which means I should get up early morning to do so, which I don't do. Weekends, I spend washing, cleaning and most of the times, writing my MBA exams or writing my IT certifications. Drawback of studying in hostel was that I lost all my friends to various locations across the country and an out of town job gave me a lot of new frenz but then different location-postings made me lose them too. I came back home and the new job made me meet some new people but the work-from-home grounded me completely as my team is worldwide and we have no seats for WW teams. Now, whenever I am in bangalore, I freak out with my frenz and live it up... else it is a very routine thing when I am home. Blame it on my frequent stint with sickness(for those who follow my blog religiously, it is a regular thing to hear abt), I stopped going out coz I was SO bedridden all the time. I CANNOT eat outside food after typhoid, I dont see the need to shop every week coz I dont go OUT for work and partying... it has become a vicious circle that needs to be broken some time soon. Not that I am not happy with life,I am pretty mast with it... just that, my workaholic nature has affected me a lot in past 3 years and I did not notice. All that mattered was WORK, and more WORK. I have missed family weddings, friends weddings and lots of important ocassions coz nothing seemed to appeal to me if it is not related to work. Altogether I realized that my long-term sickness and of-course the weight gain made me go into a shell and create a fence around me, I kept working n working to avoid the feeling of helplessness sickness brought to my life back then. Now, when I know, what has happened to me. I have decided to take one step at a time and look around and appreciate other things in life too. WORK is not everything as someone truly said "On your death-bed, you wudnt think about your job and work, you wud think about LIFE and relationships". I dont want to miss on the wonderful life that it is... I wud want to re-visit and re-invent myself. Today, I free myself from the clutches of my workaholic attitude and my health issues. I deserve it too... and no one else but "I" can change it for me...Thanks Money for making me accept what I saw but did not accept... And for all you workaholics out there, YAAR!! AB TUM BHI JAAG JAAO, MAIN TOH JAAG GAYI :D WAKE UP !!

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