Yeh jo desh hain mera...

I know most of the people look at such blog titles and yawn to themselves -- One more patriot, One more post full of whining about how our country is going to the dogs, One more yap-yap..yap-yap...
I think what I am going to say here is more of a concern than a rant. I don't know who can fix it.. me? you? the government? the people of the country? or God?
I sit back in the AC cubicle in my Client office and as I read through the news items, I wonder how the poor is getting poorer and the rich is getting richer. How I strive to earn more so I can buy a better brand, afford a better house and a better life..while there are people in some place in my country who don't even have ek-waqt-ka-khaana.

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About scars, professionalism and blah blah...

The bandage came off today and let me tell you, there are some very gross marks on the hand, that are going to stay for some time, the wound is still there but it is no longer an open wound. I hope though, there are no scars left behind.
During this whole month, I came across different reactions to my accident. Some were heart-warming and some were completely shocking. I concluded people are not at all sensitive to someone's suffering, and not to the 'marks' when it comes to a woman.

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Pressure-cooker foot gaya.. BOOOOOOOOM!! :P

So, July 18 2012 is done with. There was a pressure cooker blast while I was cooking and almost everyone I met after that tells me that I am lucky to have survived with just my right-hand badly injured. People die in such accidents or get their faces or limbs disfigured for life :( That's pretty scary. Ni?
To start with, I am better. I use my left hand 100% and my right hand 50% as of now. 

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Burnt...not finished yet...

The pressure cooker blast happened while i was cooking, last week. With only my left-hand semi-functional, I want to write much, as in with pen n paper...there is a strong urge to blog, speak, share... as if I wont live to see ahead..Weird...
Can't type much.One word takes minutes. Waiting to heal. Just thinking, if I can audio-blog? Atleast, I can talk.

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They told me so...

It is said that people we meet all through our lives, make us the people we become. Today, I plan to blog about a couple of things that were shared with me, by the people I value... at different junctures of my life.
- "Logon ka achcha kiya yaad rakhkho, bura bhool jaao, jeevan sulajh jaayega" - "Always remember the 'good' someone has done to you and forget the 'bad', this would make your life simpler --- Dad

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Why?

Why do we make it so difficult for people to just be themselves with us? 
Why do you have to pretend to be strong when all you want to do is kneel down and cry in the middle of the road coz you are lost? 
Why do you have to pretend to be happy, when all you want to do is sob yourself to sleep?
Why do you have to pretend to be calm, when all you want to do is find some random place to scream your vocal chords out?

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Of men who are jerks, and women who cannot work!!

This post is dedicated to a prospective groom.You guys can stop frowning now. Yep! I had to budge in to parental pressure and meet someone ;) I am somehow feeling dejected that I could not share my blog-link with him, but considering the viability of internet, I am sure sooner or later, he will find his way to my blog.
Dear Maa-da-laadla,
First of all thanks for reaching late at the venue for our supposed 'meeting'. I was secretly smiling to myself when you entered in a grand manner, that too 45 minutes late, like a conventional Delhi ka Punjabi mard."Hum ladke waale hain, toh hum kyon time se aaye?" and not to mention, I am in love with your audacity to not even apologize to my parents for keeping them waiting. Dude, they are old and traveled 70 kms while you live 5 mins away from that damn place YOU chose. That's okay.

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Na haathi hain, Na ghoda hain.. wahan paidal hi jaana hain...

Sab kehte hain ki I live in fairytales... in a world that is an illusion.. *shrugs*
Frankly, I don't bother. I think any which ways, everyone is living an illusion. In my opinion, your life that is so filled with materialistic goals and all that jazz is such an illusion :)
I think my life is REAL. I am still in touch with the humane side of me...I still love people, I still smile for things as small as watching it rain..I cry at things as small as someone teasing me...I throw a fit when things don't go my way and then I take a 360 degree turn, and forget it all.

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An ode to the Educated Illiterates (EIs) - Zara hat ke!

Off late my experiences with the so-called 'educated' section of our society have been so disappointing that I am sure that instead of working towards starting a NGO to help the under-privileged, I should start one to educate the EDUCATED or the privileged ones.
I am writing my MBA papers and this weekend while I was waiting in a queue at my examination center for my turn, a gal in her early-20s came from somewhere behind and stood next to me in the queue. I usually ignore such stupid tactics by the so called EIs (Educated Illiterates), but Delhi summers get to you, can't help. As soon as my turn came, she forwarded her hall-ticket to the Exam head, I casually picked up that piece of paper, smiled at her and said,"Can you please tell me one good reason why you forwarded your hall-ticket when it is my turn?". She looked at me in disbelief, with that titli-types attitude. Kids!! 

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Flush of Thoughts - 19.05.2012

Quiet easy to sit back and count what I have done for you, what all you have done for me. Quite difficult to realize, the moment we started counting, we lost what we had.
Quiet easy to blame people for all the bad that happens to me, Quite difficult to accept that it was all coz I made certain choices.
Quiet easy to stand in a corner and criticize those who are making an effort for a change, Quite difficult to be the change.

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Let's diss Aamir and Satyameva Jayate!!

So Aamir's Satyameva Jayate touched many hearts, and not to forget resulted in too many heart-burns. 
Sometimes I feel sad for all of us, what have we become? Such cynics, such pessimistic souls...that when someone tries to persuade us to THINK, we slam the person. Why are we so insecure that we always NEED to find a motive behind someone's deeds always?
We are insecure people.. with a thought process "If I could not, how can he?"..

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30, Single and Not-sorry :)

In a world where being a 30-yr old single woman raises eyebrows, I am more than looking forward to turning 30 at the end of this year.
There are various floating perceptions about women who stay unmarried till the age of 30 or beyond. I recall how my male colleagues whispered to themselves a couple of years back, while talking about my then-female boss "frustrated hain, shaadi nahi huyi na uski"... I was amazed as to how people get all judgmental over a woman's age. She might actually be getting better sex than all of them. Frustrated!! :P

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall :O

Plans! Plans! Plans! so many of them.
I love making plans... and then swooooosh! life takes a 360 deg turn and it all comes tumbling down :P
Yours truly was proudly walking into the Client's office this Friday, when she stumbled, fell and broke her ankle and bruised her knee. It was such an ordeal. People hovering around, asking me to have water...sit.. walk.. what not :|
My instant reaction was "Should I laugh at me? Cry? or Let it be?". It DID hurt a lot. Anyways. after too much mach-mach, someone got me an ice-pack and the moment they put in on my ankle, I looked at them as if I would tear them apart and eat them alive... hehehe... It was THAT painful...I recall them saying "Madam!! Itta toh tolerate karna padenga naa" :|

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Happiness

Moments as peaceful and wonderful as these...
Me, my dog, my music, my words and my space. I sit here just smiling to myself. Silently thanking God for the life I have. Thanking God that the people I left behind, managed to acknowledge and forgive me.. Thanking God for giving me the courage to forgive some of them and a lot more. There is so much to thank for.
Last night was bad. I felt dejected, tasted some tears, embraced some music and myself...and slept off. Are we all not the same?

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Where do I belong?

The question stares at me, and I have no satisfactory answer. I am the same person who once said "Belong to people, not to places" and today, I neither belong to a person nor to a place. I am living this sense of not-belonging so casually that it somewhere became a part of who I am.
It is like you lived your life tied through a leash and all of a sudden, you are unleashed. You were always told what to do and now, you HAVE to decide. I always thought when this would happen, I will be so happy and free. Now when it has happened, it left a feeling of emptiness, a gash in the heart which is deep.

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That's how I love

"I was brought up in a world where relationships meant more than money, always...where people mattered more than things always... and where emotions mattered more than orgasms always...
That's how I loved, That's how I love and That's how I am gonna love. Coz, I know no other way to love someone."
#TWSS

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Sunday Night Horror

I was the third person to reach the room and all I could see for a moment was blood..too much of it, and then I saw him, shivering and mumbling "Maa". It is difficult in THAT moment, to decide, to think or to even move. One of us yelled for Savlon, One of us got the car out and One of us picked him up and dragged him to the chair nearby. The dogs were all over him, licking him, trying to do all they could to ensure he is alright.

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Honey! I dumped you on FB.

Welcome to the FB/twitter generation wherein it is so easy to say it all while hiding behind a computer/phone screen.
Earlier, I used to find this whole thing stupid and funny. Now, as I read about it day after day, in papers, on websites; this whole "Taking your relationship to social networks" sounds utterly scary. I mean people are killing themselves over this!
This whole phenomenon of social networks is making us  insensitive towards others, ignorant of our own feelings, cowards and emotionally empty. 

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Pyaar ka PUNCH-naama!!

Everyone who asks "What is love?" and looks zara-bahut bhi human, should be hit with a flashlight on his/her head. I find this question utterly stupid. I want to just roll my eyes at them and ask "Dude, your mother threw in the dustbin or what? Why do you think you are here, in this world?".
It is funny how everyone is so busy defining love or finding the relevant definitions for love, that they have forgotten 'LOVE' itself :) Interesting set of people. I have come across a different set of people in the past few years. I thought why not categorize them to make it simpler for my coming generations :

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Vodka Bytes : 15.01.2012

Alcohol and me, we never gel well. It either makes me too sad...or too ignorant to notice. I share a love-hate relationship with alcohol. 
I am high right now and so many random things are on my mind. I am not happy, but I am not sad either. My Reiki-master told me this thing.."You give way too much and you close the doors when it's time to take.Accept love, happiness and all that comes your way". OMG!! wait a minute.. he also said that one should not indulge in alcohol and drugs.. Oopsie!! :s :P 

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Survive the lows, Live the highs.

"When you hit rock bottom, the only way is up" -- This is my favorite quote of all times. This is ME, today.
Got another news that makes everything worst again...Will I give up? Ummm.. I donno. 
I won't keep that option open at all..Nope.
The person who broke the news to me, asked me too many times to react. I just smiled and said, "I have nothing to say. It's okay". Inside, It is like a lull...like everything has stopped for me. I have no clue what to say. I guess this time, I will keep it all within me, for now.

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Hey gal! You complete him...You complete you.

"A man needs a woman to complete him" -- When I overheard my Dad saying this to his cousin ,I ran to straight to him and gave him a biiiiiiiig hug. I felt so proud of my old-man... :)
Ofcourse, most of the people may think of me a sexist or this statement as biased...Well, my Dad's cousin did. A man of few words, My dad did not care to justify himself...so I pitched in. 

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Change hain kya?

I am glad things don't stay the same. I am happy that things change and nothing stays permanent. 
How would life be if all days would have been gloomy, like the past few ones.. or if every day was about smiles and happy news? Umm... it would have been too mundane.
Everything fades away. Be it pain, Be it scars or bad memories... Slowly and gradually, it all becomes like that old box of greeting cards that you open once in a year, while you clean your closet. You live those memories for a couple of minutes and then you carry on with your life. 

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Rape Me, my friend.

Kurt Cobain is my God of darkness. His God is gay.
He might have been where I am today.. where you might have been some day... but he did not sit back, he made a song out of it... ;)
This song is his "Fuck You" to the world.. or may be his sarcastic "Thank you" to the souls who left him with a hole.
Whatever may be the case, this is the song of the moment... this is the song I am in love with for years now... 

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Thank you.

Last two weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare. Dad in hospital. Crisis at work. Personal life gone for toss. Friends turning their backs. 
Glad, some people stood by me and helped me sail through these tough times. Thank you everyone, for praying. Dad is better. He will take another 2-3 months to get back to normalcy, but the doctors are confident that if he follows a healthy lifestyle and takes his illness seriously, he will be the same Angry old man, that I love.

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